Does social anxiety make you loose faith in a relationship

[Chriswinnipeg]

Does social anxiety affect you from having a relationship? I mean do you guys worry that if you do get into a relationship with someone, your partner might not really accept you for having this anxiety, causing you to just give up hope in trying to have a relationship in the first place because you fear that your partner would never understand you or accept you or can handle you anyway. So you just give up and loose faith in any possible relationship you could of had.

 

[dottie]

this is a common insecurity to have. i don't think everyone gives up on ever having a relationship but it is definitely an obstacle. some choose to give up hope, some choose to deal with it even though it's in the back of their mind. you just have to realize that some people will love you for you despite your insecurities. you have to decide if there are things about you to be valued. there is someone out there who will focus on those things and not your insecurities. not everyone is perfect.

 

[Barnum]

I used to know for sure that I wouldn't be able to have a relationship due to my anxiety, I was certain that the only way to lose my virginity was to find someone really drunk, a prostitute, or both.

None of that really matters when you suddenly find yourself in an actual relationship. Now, I just go with the flow and try to be a good boyfriend. We all know how anxiety drops immediately after you've faced your fear. It's sort of like that all the time now.

This will probably not help anyone get into a relationship, but I want you to know - and remember - how easy everything becomes once you actually start.

 

[HH]

good question. I think this is just one of many reasons for me why I don't/or can't seek out a relationship, social phobia/anxiety, blushing problem, HH, I suffer from these and more things I think (avoidant personality) but I know I'm a good and caring person who is very talented and funny (hey, always be positive) so any girl would be lucky to be with me. Its just trying to overcome these obstacles and finding that someone who will except me for who I am. There are females out there like this, I work with some but unfortunately there already taken-what a surprise. I have thought about giving up but that's loser talk.

 

[hiLowOh3]

Yes, most definitely!
It’s been long time since I’ve been in a serious relationship because of my SAD. I always feel like I have to hide my true self to be accepted. And the guys I usually meet are very outgoing and actually have a life so I don’t even want to bother starting a relationship that’s going to fail… 

 

[missblueyes123]

Awhile ago I had a random moment where I actually met a guy at a friends and started talking to him. He was very nice and laid back so we started hanging out and eventually started dating. A month to two months into our relationship I began trying to break up with him because I felt like I just had too many issues, that he shouldnt have to deal with when being in a relationship...like my depression and great anxiety. But he kept telling me how he just wants to give us a try and see how things go. Finally I accepted that. Basically we have been thru a lot and I have had many panic attacks and freak outs where I would just need to leave places quickly. He has been great. He likes me and can deal with all that. He is great because even though I don't do much socially, when I do its with him and it's nice because he knows how Im feeling and always tries the best to make me more comfortable.

I think you shouldn't worry too much about your anxiety affecting a friends or lover. Most likely if they are annoyed by it you can tell or they will even pretty much tell you. I've found that as long as I try my best to take small steps my friends and lover wont mind helping me out. A lot of people are extremely understanding. And can make you feel more confident too

 

[GKJB]

I haven't even been looking or thought of looking for a long time. It's because I don;t know who I am anymore, or what my personality is, I think I'd get laughed at.

Some days I'll wake up in a great modd, be really confident & talkative, then something happens that drags me right back down. Thing is, when I act confident I tend to feel immense guilt and shame about it later because I see it as me acting like an idiot & embarassing myself. Every single time I get drunk I spend the entire day after going over everything I said & driving myself crazy with shame.

My friends have started thinking I might be gay & find it weird that I don;t seem to show an interest in getting a gf, I really wish I could, but I can;t even imagine having someone who loves me, knows everything about me and accepts me. I don't trust girls, or anyone else for that matter, so yeah with me its sort of impossible, which makes me think it'd be best to get rid of my last mate and stop seeing my brother so I don't look weird to anyone, & can get on with things without being judged.