Does anyone suffer from Selective Mutism?

[Jodie-Tyler]

Doctors say that it usually starts with shyness as a child as we first go into pre-school and then primary school.
But all young children go through shyness.

However, if the shyness stayed right up until the late years of primary school, going into high school/secondary school makes it worse.
And then one develops social anxiety and from that may come selective mutism.

They say that's what happens in most cases, but we all know that every persons story is different.

I've had social anxiety all my life, I'm 18 now, and I avoid any socialising when possible. I dont go out, only for work, and I only work because I need the money. People thought that working would help get over my SA, but it only made it worse, and I'm so close to becoming completely mute. I hate talking, I hate using my voice. People at work think I'm rude and anti-social. My parents think I have an attitude because I never talk, just stay in my room all the time.

Is there anyone who has selective mutism, or has gone through it, and could shed some advice?

 

[MrTimid&Shy]

Yes. I did as a child, I still do sometimes. It was really bad growing up, because I didn't understand why I was that way. It was hard for me to talk to people that I felt intimidated by or people that I didn't know. Also I never talked to girls up until after my teenage years. sad story, for a decent looking guy.

 

[MollyBeGood]

...........

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

Yeah, see I don't even know what I have. Because Selective Mutism is when someone can't speak, they don't choose not to. Whereas I'm choosing not to speak because I simply hate it.
I had selective Mutism at school, and now that im in the work place, its just easier not to talk. So i dont.

I get what you mean by feeling invisable. In high school i used that to my advantage. I didnt go to school most days in the final 2years or so, and bunked every P.E/Gym lesson i had for 2 years, and no one notised. I also got away with not handing in coursework most times.
So for me, being invisable was good, because it allowed me to avoid all my fears. but i cant do that at work.

 

[coyote]

i've always thought that it would be really nice to be mute

so i would have an excuse not to have to say anything

instead, i often feel compelled to speak, and therefore constantly stress out over whether I'm saying the right thing or not

i would never want to be blind or deaf or lose my arms or legs, but I honestly can't see too many drawbacks to not being able to speak

(other than the obvious diminished value in the job market)

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

As a kid elemetary to middle school; i only said a couple words the entire year.. High school I was able to talk for required stuff.. I remember junior year being the worst. I wasn't able to respond to some people and even teachers. As an adult i try to say hello etc at work but usually just speak when spoken to and required stuff. Sometimes I just don't want to talk and it's one of the worst feelings to force a clear response

 

[PandaBear]

When I was little I watched this movie Corrina, Corrina. In it, this little girl becomes mute after her mother dies.

I remember thinking "I wish I could do that. I wish I could just stop speaking. I wonder if anyone would notice." That was back when I was still living a normal life. Ironically, a few years later, I stopped speaking in school and started withdrawing deeper and deeper into my shell. No one really noticed. People just stopped talking to me.

But I actually want to speak. I just feel incapable of it these days.

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

Coyote:
I totally agree, I can't see any drawbacks to being mute either. The 'getting a job' bit is the only one. But once you go so deep into withdrawal that you don't speak, even though you're choosing not to, after a while you may end up not being able to at all.
- However, is that so bad? It's only the job thing that gets in the way. If you're rich then go for it. If not, you're screwed.

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

When I was little I watched this movie Corrina, Corrina. In it, this little girl becomes mute after her mother dies.

I remember thinking "I wish I could do that. I wish I could just stop speaking. I wonder if anyone would notice." That was back when I was still living a normal life. Ironically, a few years later, I stopped speaking in school and started withdrawing deeper and deeper into my shell. No one really noticed. People just stopped talking to me.

But I actually want to speak. I just feel incapable of it these days.

I've seen that movie to, I love it! There's also a movie called 'Speak' that says it's about a mute, but she isn't. She's like us, just doesnt talk and wants to see if anyone notises. Though her sudden mutism is brought on by a trauma, like most peoples, i dont think mine was.

But yeah, I did that in high school, just made myself invisable, mainly it was to stop people from talking nonense at me. but no one notised when i WAS there, so i decided to not be there. No one notised when i wasnt in class, or that i wasnt in the lunch hall, or in tutor/registration. It was great. But now, out in the real world, you need a job, money blah blah blah....all this u need to talk, thats where i struggle.