Does anyone relate to this......?

[veggielover]

I must have some retarded social anxiety a.k.a coward syndrome. I can't just go out one night of my life without having any worries. I worry that I won't know anyone at a party and that I will be "that girl" that everyone stares at like who is she? Even though I have a friend to go to the party with and I would be meeting a friend there....what the helllll. It's one night out of my life and it will be over with tomorrow. It's somewhere to have a good time and socialize with people, yet I can't get myself to do it. I hate this. I'm all ready to go out and since it's not exactly what I've expected it to be, I don't want to go anymore. I suck. What am I supposed to do in this situation? Just never go out another night in my life? God damn, why am I like this? I wonder what my friends think of me. They probably think I'm not even good enough to want to invite to a party. I'm trying to be this party girl, but its so not me. I love getting drunk, but that's the only thing I enjoy about parties. I like drunken conversations because I won't fully remember them the next day nor care what I'm talking about at the moment. I can't be sober and social. Not around people I don't know well. This ***** so bad. I'm trying to get out there and hang out more with my friends and let them get to know me better, but of course I just back out like a COWARD. I'm such a coward. I would love to get some kind of confidence medicine, do they make that? I'm over being like this, so over it. This is what makes all my relationships fail. I suck so bad. I want to be ok, but it's just not going to happen. I shouldn't say that. I want to be normal. How do I do it????? It's not like I never go out to parties, but I just get so intimidated sometimes, like tonight. And I psyche myself out thinking I'm going to have a horrible time. Who am I? Who do I think I am? I need to get out of here. I lost this amazing guy I think because of my social anxiety. It's nights like these that make me wonder how I would be feeling if I were on medication.

 

[lithium]

I can relate; I'm horrible in social situations, especially when I am amongst strangers. That's why I never go to parties, aside from the fact of never being invited to any.

 

[juju]

does anyone say something and the response to what you have said is that people virtually ignore you.... but if another person says the same thing, suddenly its the most important thing ever ???????????????????

 

[SpLynx]

Dont think about the man you lost, there are millions of them on the earth! The RIGHT person wouldnt leave you anyway. Yeah, I can relate. I am also a coward but trying to overcome..

 

[guessed]

does anyone say something and the response to what you have said is that people virtually ignore you.... but if another person says the same thing, suddenly its the most important thing ever ???????????????????

lol yes I hate when that happens!

 

[Honda]

You gotta push yourself to get over it... Thats the only way as far as i experienced.. i had and still have some of the problems you're talking about.. but i had to go and experience what i fear most to get over it.. Not that i stopped feeling nervous and scared but got used to it and can control it..

 

[Avarak]

I go through the same feelings, I get excited at first to go out, but then I worry about looking awkward and being by myself in the corner, and I psyche myself out.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

I know how you feel..Im worried about going to a Christmas party tonight..we may not go anyway because of the snow. I would feel relieved and guilty at the same time if we didnt go. At this stage in the game though..I think I shouldnt let myself feel guilty, its time to accept I have this problem and own up to it...that maybe if I accept this maybe it will help instead of fighting.
You said your not really a party girl..then I would say for you don't try to fit yourself into a mold. If its not your thing to begin with and not just because of the social anxiety..then why not be true to yourself and just stay home and cozy up with a good book.

 

[johnny 85]

i know what your goin through. cant believe 5 yrs ago i was the opposite to what i am now. i used to love going out and having a laugh. hell i used never come home at the weekend but for some reason i ended up like this. now i dis like going out. i try to avoid pubs/clubs/parties when ever i can but my mates get me out a lot of the times. at the moment, my friends are out and here i am stuck in my room on a saturday nite wondering how i got to be this way and if i ll ever be the way i was 5 years ago !!!

 

[DrsJacksonn]

You know, I'm actually also a coward when it comes to social stoof. It's not as severe as in your case though (well actually it is, I'm just trying to resist it when a certain situation is inevitable).

I don't try to fight or solve it like you do, I just try to accept it. I don't go to parties because I don't like the idea of it. I slightly have this 'I'm the one everyone's staring at'-vibe, which often is the case, most likely because they can sense my fear. I just try to stay calm and show no fear, in which I sort of succeed (well at least, it feels like that).

You know, one day I was sitting next to a girl in English class (who turned out to be the love of my life numberous months later), it must have been three, maybe two years ago (I was like 13) and we were passing notes to one another. I just liked passing notes, it felt like an easier way of describing things - things that were hard to say were easier to write ye know.
She knew things about me, things no one else knew or would bother finding out. She understood things I about me I couldn't even figure out myself. And she wrote: 'You're just a quiet boy with now and then a sexistic joke' (You should now realise that she was kind of prudish and easy to consider any remark a 'sex-related joke'). I answered: 'well yeah, that's basicly it'.
And her response was: 'I mean, I have the feeling you are hiding for society' or something near that.

From that moment I slowly came to the realisation that I wasn't just the type of person who wanted to be left alone and needed no people: I was actually hiding out. She was so right!

But in regards to what you said, I don't think I know a solution. Try not to care about this feeling of people watching you and try to, well, suck it up and live with your problem.

One love, DrsJacksonn.

 

[DrsJacksonn]

I can relate; I'm horrible in social situations, especially when I am amongst strangers. That's why I never go to parties, aside from the fact of never being invited to any.

I think we feel the same XD