does anyone feel like me?

[medepressed]

Hi Everyone. Joined the site for a quite long time, I guess. Had old id. but I wont mention it. Somehow was banned. now sure, if it was my fault or some misunderstood me.
anyways. I am facing social anxiety and depression for a quite long time with a bit of OCD. today, my roommates, asked me to leave the room on 10 days notice. It just jolted me. I never been rude to them. Just been confined to myself. that they dint understood, as usual. We people dont feel fit in between other people, more we try we feel awkward.
anyways. todays, was the day, that broke me heart. I stayed calm and behaved like its ok. But from inside it broke my all confidence. I am drinking and still on medication(I know, not good for a person with depression and anxiety). but cant help. It feels like, no one understands me. My parents dont know about my situations. Now I feel so much pressure to find a new room to live. I work as a software engineer that I suck on. I just try to work for few hours and get scold everyday, because being late and not being a good employee. I just thought to write my first post to share my thoughts and to know how others feel about my situation. want to know, if anyone feels that way. I love someone but even she dint understands me. Its so lonely. I am cutting myself. I dont know what to do. How to face people next day, who told me to leave. I dont know how to continue. like this. Feels like, noone understands me and will never understand me.

 

[coyote]

hi, sorry to hear about your troubles - sounds like things have been tough lately

are you, or have you, been seeing a counselor or therapist?

is there someone you can talk to?

 

[alok]

man this social anxiety is really a shittiest thing that happened to me i am also software engineer but i am
****ed up. every day i go to work i feel like my brain is going to explode . I am trying to cope with this and i feel hate for people who are living normal happy lives . i just want to punch them but what can i do , nothing no one is here to listen how much sadist we are .
i am trying supplements like magnesium citrate , htp5 , l tyrosine , these supplement lil bit help me and
i am also trying abstinence from masturbation , porn , porn thoughts , and exercise which i skip everyday .

 

[Megaten]

Yeah Ive been there before. The depression got so bad it was getting me into trouble at work. But it did and can get better. You have to get some kind of support whether it be a counselor or a group and it can help tremendously. As for your roommate, I would say not to internalize that. Even if you were perfect, I promise you that there would still be people that you just wont get along with. And thats ok because you dont need everyone to like you to live your life.

 

[medepressed]

hi, sorry to hear about your troubles - sounds like things have been tough lately

are you, or have you, been seeing a counselor or therapist?

is there someone you can talk to?

yeah. I am seeing a counselor. Hope this will help. Maybe, its going to take more time then I thought.

 

[medepressed]

man this social anxiety is really a shittiest thing that happened to me i am also software engineer but i am
****ed up. every day i go to work i feel like my brain is going to explode . I am trying to cope with this and i feel hate for people who are living normal happy lives . i just want to punch them but what can i do , nothing no one is here to listen how much sadist we are .
i am trying supplements like magnesium citrate , htp5 , l tyrosine , these supplement lil bit help me and
i am also trying abstinence from masturbation , porn , porn thoughts , and exercise which i skip everyday .

Thanks for replying alok. I am ganna try few of things that you did. Maybe, will help me. Its comforting to realize that you are not alone. Again thanks for the reply.

 

[medepressed]

Yeah Ive been there before. The depression got so bad it was getting me into trouble at work. But it did and can get better. You have to get some kind of support whether it be a counselor or a group and it can help tremendously. As for your roommate, I would say not to internalize that. Even if you were perfect, I promise you that there would still be people that you just wont get along with. And thats ok because you dont need everyone to like you to live your life.

yeah. Thats true. But just feel lonely. Its like everyone hates me. Or maybe, its just in my head. anyways, as I said, seeing a counselor. Lets see, if that helps.
Thanks for writing.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

Maybe it would help if you actually think that people hate you.... but you don't fckin care. It's harder to convince yourself that people are not against you. It would only make you more paranoid and dependent to them. On the other hand, if you accept the possibility that maybe people do hate you even if you're doing nothing wrong ... just think that since you're already fcked up then nothing worse could happen anymore so the only way to do is to just keep moving.

If optimistic approach doesn't suit you then maybe the pessimistic way would be more effective. It works for me. lol

 

[medepressed]

Maybe it would help if you actually think that people hate you.... but you don't fckin care. It's harder to convince yourself that people are not against you. It would only make you more paranoid and dependent to them. On the other hand, if you accept the possibility that maybe people do hate you even if you're doing nothing wrong ... just think that since you're already fcked up then nothing worse could happen anymore so the only way to do is to just keep moving.

If optimistic approach doesn't suit you then maybe the pessimistic way would be more effective. It works for me. lol

yeah. I agree. if could help. but I cant stop thinking. more I try to not to care, it actually force me to more care. I know. I dont know, how to fight this shit :kickingmyself: