rubyred716
Member
i just think like, this is it? this is life? thats all? i think of space and the universe and just us floating in it .. i get dizzy, and i feel like i cant escape. i say to myself, why is THIS life? why cant something else be life?
When I was 15, I was laying in bed one night, and thought about what happens when I die? I lay there, and that's it? Forever and ever? All of a sudden I got dizzy and had to say My name is Michelle, I love my Mom, she is upstairs. I explained this feeling to people but they didn't get it. It was only for a few seconds but my heart started to race and I felt really hot. I got this feeling like 5 times. I couldn't think about it because it made me get dizzy. I've had anxiety my whole life. A month ago I started smoking weed but not a lot. I've smoked it a few times b4 in the passed and became paranoid but nothing like derealization/depersonazalition feelings. Well a month ago I got that feeling like I did when I was 15 but it was 10x worse. Then I smoked again a week ago and got the feeling, my head got numb and everything. My boyfriend didn't know what I was talking about. I kept saying this is life, that's it? That's all? It felt fake, like I was in a dream, and not even here. Like someone is watching me from outside of a bubble. I constantly question why are we here, and how a planet can come out of nothing? I feel like I can't escape it. I feel like I'm stuck and drowning. I always think, this is life, that's it? What makes THIS life? Why isn't life like something else? I went online and saw that this is what it's called, and I went to a psychotherapist a few days ago and she told me I had dissociation disroder along with this, anxiety, and depression. She put me on lexapro which I've been on like 3 years ago for like 6 months for anxiety. Does anyone feel like this? PLEASE WRITE BACK! it'll make me feel so much better!!
When I was 15, I was laying in bed one night, and thought about what happens when I die? I lay there, and that's it? Forever and ever? All of a sudden I got dizzy and had to say My name is Michelle, I love my Mom, she is upstairs. I explained this feeling to people but they didn't get it. It was only for a few seconds but my heart started to race and I felt really hot. I got this feeling like 5 times. I couldn't think about it because it made me get dizzy. I've had anxiety my whole life. A month ago I started smoking weed but not a lot. I've smoked it a few times b4 in the passed and became paranoid but nothing like derealization/depersonazalition feelings. Well a month ago I got that feeling like I did when I was 15 but it was 10x worse. Then I smoked again a week ago and got the feeling, my head got numb and everything. My boyfriend didn't know what I was talking about. I kept saying this is life, that's it? That's all? It felt fake, like I was in a dream, and not even here. Like someone is watching me from outside of a bubble. I constantly question why are we here, and how a planet can come out of nothing? I feel like I can't escape it. I feel like I'm stuck and drowning. I always think, this is life, that's it? What makes THIS life? Why isn't life like something else? I went online and saw that this is what it's called, and I went to a psychotherapist a few days ago and she told me I had dissociation disroder along with this, anxiety, and depression. She put me on lexapro which I've been on like 3 years ago for like 6 months for anxiety. Does anyone feel like this? PLEASE WRITE BACK! it'll make me feel so much better!!
