Does anyone else feel this way?

[dannyboy65]

I did it I bet my fears and rarely have anxiety or depression anymore. I moved up in my social life, a year ago I was a social outcast and complete loner. Now I have so many friends I can't count them, and being so social now I just want to move to the next level. Finding a girl that is truly compatible with me.

I just have this anxiety over the subject now because I haven't been with someone in almost 5 years and I feel I forgot everything about relationships. In truth I do miss them but I was never in a relationship with a caring person. I just want to find a girl who will love me for me and not use me.

I'm just scared what if I never find that person and I live my full life alone. It's not to big of a deal but I always struggled with this social interaction. I believe though I would be a great partner for many reasons. I just want to give that girl the respect they deserve.

 

[Hoppy]

I read this yesterday, and I thought it would be a great reply for you.

The natural impulse is to reassure yourself out of this existential crisis, but I suggest you do the opposite and push yourself into it even more broadly. Since you’re already questioning what, exactly, you can know for sure about a spouse, I suggest you keep going and finish off the whole concept of certainty. With a (hypothetical) baseball bat.

Here’s what you actually know, at any given time, more or less: Who and what surrounds you, what you’re doing, and how you feel. The rest is speculation that ranges from highly informed to completely beyond your reach.
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You can also know for sure that change is a constant and plans are not guarantees.

Depending on how you handle these particular truths, they can paralyze you or liberate you.

If you fear uncertainty, and give yourself over to the dread of the many possible negative outcomes, then you’ll be as stuck in them as surely as if they had occurred. Take the person whose greatest fear is that a mate is cheating. That whole relationship becomes about infidelity — watching for it, imposing restrictions to preempt it, interrogating and snooping to discover it — whether the mate is straying or not.

If instead you accept that you’re just as subject to surprises as anyone, and that your only recourse is to choose people well, love them fully and trust yourself to handle it if things don’t turn out as you’d hoped, then the possibility of cheating — or illness or job loss or whatever else can befall a family — may scare you when it crosses your mind, but it won’t own you.

And that’s an unspoken attitude you can bring to supporting your friend: “She’ll get through this, just as I would in her place.”

Be there with insight, not fear.

 

[Nazim]

Keep socializing and talking to people.
Soon you will find a match for you.
We cannot control the process of "finding a perfect match" but what we can do is just keep socializing and meeting new people until we find the match we have been looking for.