Does a confident partner make you feel worse ?

[kevd]

My wife of 17 years (I'm 50) is a very confident ,popular and outgoing.Her job is working everyday in the community.She is very supportive of me so don't get me wrong.
She does her best to encourage me to visit friends and family but i spend most of my time avoiding them or cancelling at the last minute.I end up with a gripping overwhelming fear of the situation so i run away from it.I have had cbt therapy, numerous anti-depressants etc.
I know i should face the fear but i'm just not strong enough.It seems it's easy telling other people what they should do to help but i can't do it for myself.
I'll not bore you with the details but i was bullied terribly as a teenager at school, had a strict over powering father and a very nervous mother
I do not work at the moment. I worked all my life up until 5 years ago when i had a nervous breakdown and since life has been a downward spiral and now find myself avoiding most things and my social world is virtually non existent.
However my question is this.
Does any body else have a confident partner? and Does this make you feel worse?

 

[Section_31]

Hey Kevd,

Not exactly the same situation, my wife and me have been married only since sept of 2010. We both have S/A to varying degree's, and different triggers. She is so confident in some situations i get embarrassed, because i feel like im dragging her down, and vice versa, but in my case we compliment eachother and help eachother along.

I sure do feel for you, and i can empathize with what your going through.

 

[kevd]

Hey Kevd,

Not exactly the same situation, my wife and me have been married only since sept of 2010. We both have S/A to varying degree's, and different triggers. She is so confident in some situations i get embarrassed, because i feel like im dragging her down, and vice versa, but in my case we compliment eachother and help eachother along.

I sure do feel for you, and i can empathize with what your going through.

Thanks for the quick reply.
Yes we seem to compliment each other too and tend to bounce of one another so to speak.On the rare social occasions we meet friends i need a beer or two to give me dutch courage then nobody notices how awkward i feel.
Once the alcohol kicks in i appear confident to people however it's not a good idea to self medicate and is only temporary relief from the anxiety.Then this confidence leads to more offers of social situations for me to try and avoid after and so the vicious circle begins again.

 

[Section_31]

Have you considered seeing a doctor about non-self medications?.

I know some are open to it, some not, while it will work for some and others it wont. I only ask because in my case, when my doctor put me on wellbutrin it really helped me. It didnt stop the anxiety, but made it less intense and more managable. Its at least helped me to be able to live some semblence of a normal life.

Is somthing like this somthing that you are open to?