Do you....?

[ktea]

Do you have a little person inside your mind that always puts you down? Often I feel like I'm carrying around a built-in critic who is constantly monitoring everything I do and finding fault. It says things like: "there you go again, you idiot!" or "Just like you to have said a stupid thing like that" or "It's true -- you ARE lazy & selfish, why not just admit it?" or, the worst "Let's face it -- you're always gonna be a loser, so you might as well stop torturing yourself about it." What should a person do about this?

 

[Infected_Malignity]

Get a hobby/significant other.

 

[Coper]

Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy? The idea is pretty much that you rationally evaluate the things your inner critic says, and notice how they're exaggerated and tend to accentuate the negative and ignore the positive. Then you try to change your interior monologue to be more positive. I did a group-therapy workshop on this years ago, using a book called "Ten Days to Self-Esteem." It seemed like pretty good stuff, but all the introspection that it required of me was so much work that I gave up about half-way through. Still, I think the basic strategies I learned helped me to fight back against my inner critic.

 

[sabbath92003]

Become a mind whisperer. Gently tug your mind back in the direction you want to go.

 

[Psychedelicious]

I do all of those things, except for when I tell myself those things I do it in the form of "I" or else I think that there is someone else talking to me. I know what you're talking about though. I say stuff like "I am so ugly, I'm a horrible person, what's wrong with me?". "I'm so stupid!! I don't even deserve friends or anything." Stuff like that. I've been doing it so much that I have almost convinced myself that all of these things are actually true. I mean it's not like we can ignor it, for it is us ourselves who are creating these voices. If it's there you're gonna hear it. We have to not tell ourselves these things in the first place. I'm not exactly sure how to fix it, cause' I do it too.

 

[ljwwriter]

I have a little person in my mind that I hear from all the time. Sometimes he tries to comfort me in social situations by making a sarcastic joke out of everything. But most of the time he's busy battling my subconscious which is usually putting me down in an extremely brutal fashion. Yes, I am crazy. But so is everyone else who decides to keep living this life.

 

[Len]

Just an idea. Why don't you turn it on its head. The next time you feel your inner voice is going to say something change it around to a positive.

So if you said something you think was silly or feel like you are going to criticise youself make your inner voice say something positive. Like..

Negative affirmation number 1:

"I can't believe I said that. What an idiot. Now everyone is going to think you are such a loser."

replace with positive affirmation:

"Ha ha that was funny, well done for saying something. I am sure the next time you say something it will be even funnier"

Negative affirmation number 2:

"You are such a silly idiot, nobody likes you and you will always be a loser"

replace with positive affirmation:

"You really try hard and if you keep on trying then you will do well. Have faith in yourself. Good job!"

It sounds silly but it is just a case of tricking the mind into positive words rather than negative. Positive words have an effect on the mind and body which triggers better emotions. I am not sure if this will work but it is worth a go.

 

[sabbath92003]

Just an idea. Why don't you turn it on its head. The next time you feel your inner voice is going to say something change it around to a positive.

This is pretty much CBT's message. But when I tried it, I spent all day debating myself (I'm a master debater, you know). So CBT actually made me worse. Then I found ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and learned to stopped debating myself. Now I treat my mind (and body) like an abused puppy.