Do you think there are any advantages?

Anastasia

Member
Not necessarily, lol. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite w/ most shy people. I often find myself so caught up in day-dreaming or observing one particular person (or scenery) that often times, I'm completely oblivious to what is going on around me. I always feel like I'm being watched, but I have a tendency to pay attention to the WRONG things and the WRONG ppl. Like, I probably wouldn't even know if someone was stalking me, lol. And most shy ppl come off as being the same way. They may observe certain things going on around them, but they usually don't appear to be *fully* aware of what's going on around them.

I know exactly what you mean, I can be so cut off from what's going on around me that I probably come across as not being all there :p and I can be incredibly absent-minded. I seem to be all in my head a lot of the time, not properly connected to my own body even, like a dismembered brain floating about. It's a wonder I haven't been run over crossing a road by now and I'm a shocker of a driver too.
 

PennyLane

Well-known member
About the only positive I can see is that I spend less money by not going out.

So no, basically. I would rather be out there having fun, meeting people from all walks of life, trying out new things and not be scared of everything.

In terms of time to develop, surely your personality and development is helped by meeting people and gaining new perspectives, influences and experiences.

Just personally I don't see any advantage outweighing a life of friendship, love and less fear.
 

slimjim119

Well-known member
I agree with that SA has made me alot more observant to my surroundings. I'm always aware of what's going on around me. My senses are better. But I would trade that to get rid of SA completely in a heartbeat. I have also saved more money by not going out as much as I should.
 

Skald

Well-known member
About the only positive I can see is that I spend less money by not going out.

So no, basically. I would rather be out there having fun, meeting people from all walks of life, trying out new things and not be scared of everything.

In terms of time to develop, surely your personality and development is helped by meeting people and gaining new perspectives, influences and experiences.

Just personally I don't see any advantage outweighing a life of friendship, love and less fear.

Awesome point and one I totally agree with.
 

Queen_Of_Pain

Well-known member
I guess it makes more mysterious people...had I been more out-going so far maybe I would know the names of the people who live down the street, but because I don't..I don't know them..and they don't know me, so I can re-invent myself whenever I choose without having to live up to anything.

The 'no strings attached' approach to life.
 

Lorraine Manca

Well-known member
I think there is a mistaken belief that friends or spouses or the package deal of a family, house, and dog is the end all be all thing. If you haven't experienced any of that, how do you even know you'll like it? Its a huge assumption to make, that all of those experiences that other people have are the only way to live a fulfilling life. You just dont know thats true. It could be better, or it could be not one ounce better. Of course its awful being nervous around people, but there are worse things.
 

dream

Well-known member
From my experience: no, no and NOOOO!!!

I missed out on my childhood and teenage years because of social anxiety. (didn't go to sleep-overs, school dances, prom, parties, football games etc.). There are many jobs that I refuse to take because of my social anxiety. I don't have a life because of social anxiety. I don't have friends because of my social anxiety. I don't have a boyfriend due to my social anxiety. I'm afraid to take chances and be out in public because of social anxiety...

I honestly cannot think of ONE good advantage to having social phobia. There is none! Just like there is no advantage to being born severely retarded or with missing limbs. The handicapp ALWAYS gets in the way of living a normal life.

Awe, i missed most of the "best years of my life" too:(
 

Diend

Well-known member
Interesting topic. Up until not long ago I probably would have said yes, SA has helped me to be a deeper thinkier, empathetic, given me time to develop my talents, do my own thing, etc.

But one single event earlier this year very vividly illustrated for me the toll SA has taken on my life over the years. It was simply this: I was in a communication and interviewing skills class at uni (the horror!) and we had to go around the room and talk about something, I don't remember what, but I had a very rare burst of confidence and talkativeness and actually, for several sentences, freely and spontaneously expressed myself to the rest of the class and the teacher, who in turn reciprocated in a likewise positive manner.

I felt very happy to have been able to do this but at the same time it dawned on me: this is what it would have been like if I hadn't had SA. This is how much easier it would have been. And this is how much easier it is for people who don't have SA.

Everything was clear to me then. In a way I also felt incredibly validated. My difficulties because of SA have been very, very real.

So actually after that experience I can't say that any advantages could even begin to outweigh the huge disadvantage that this has caused, unfortunately.

and people who have never thought of themselves as socially anxious would not know the difference. They would not have anything to compare their current situation to others.
 

SnowWolf

Well-known member
I have a LOT of free time. But I'm failing to take advantage of that advantage because of lack of motivation. Like I bet I could be fluent in several languages by now if I stuck with trying to learn them, and my drawing skill would have improved markedly by now.
 
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