Do you take things heart?

[Anonymous]

Hi

I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who is over sensitive like myself? When ever someone says something slightly negative, I immediatly take it to heart. I always think that it is ment literally, and take it personally. Its only when I go away and think about it that I realise I just over reacted, and it really wasn't that bad, or wasn't ment to offend me.

I do have SP to a certain extent and I am a very shy person, so can anyone relate to me? Do you think its because I am SP and this is the reason why I am over sensitive?

Many Thanks

 

[LilMissTragic]

I bet you can't take compliments either. I have noticed that if someone says something negative about me...or anyone else with Sp then we are like, yeh ya must be right, i'm useless...but if anyone ever compliments us on anything then we go into totally negative mode and never truly beleive it.

 

[Anonymous]

im hypersensitive...i cant take criticism and i take everything personally. im way too egocentric basically. i lack perspective and i think disproportionately.

 

[Anonymous]

Hi

I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who is over sensitive like myself? When ever someone says something slightly negative, I immediatly take it to heart. I always think that it is ment literally, and take it personally. Its only when I go away and think about it that I realise I just over reacted, and it really wasn't that bad, or wasn't ment to offend me.

I do have SP to a certain extent and I am a very shy person, so can anyone relate to me? Do you think its because I am SP and this is the reason why I am over sensitive?

Many Thanks

Yep can relate to this in a certain way.I also take it to heart when someone says or acts in a negative way.I think it has to do with the fact that i'm not aggresive myself (i'm a male).So when someone say something or simply acts negatively usually because they are in a bad mood,I often take it personally,even though they are simply letting of some steam.One way to cope with this,is don't wait till later to think about it.try to stop yourself straight away the moment you realise that you are having a negative reaction to the situation,then try to focus your mind elsewhere or distract yourself by doing something.this will help cause you won't be letting it upset you as much as usual.I know this is not easy,you will have to practise it many times,but it is also useful in any situation where you catch yourself having negative thoughts,which is the vain of SA sufferers lifes.hope this helps.

 

[Fredscars]

mmhm, believe critism and disbelieve compliments lol
at least we arent usually arrogant or big headed :lol:

 

[aligurl09]

:lol: HEY! THAT IS HOW I AM TOO!!! MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY ARE LIKE THAT.

 

[Yossarian]

Yup

 

[Crimefish]

Yeah. Mildly critical things people said to me over ten years ago still keep me up at night. When I think about it, I'm complimented just as often as I'm criticised, it's just that the bad things are easier to believe, and they stay with you longer.

 

[Yossarian]

HAPPINESS

Happiness is silent, or speaks equivocally for friends,
Grief is explicit and her song never ends,
Happiness is like England, and will not state a case,
Grief like Guilt rushes in and talks apace.

by Stevie Smith

 

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Mildly critical things people said to me over ten years ago still keep me up at night. When I think about it, I'm complimented just as often as I'm criticised, it's just that the bad things are easier to believe, and they stay with you longer.

Exactly... and it's focusing on and believing all of those negatives that allows me to believe that I'm not 'like other people'.. a reject of sorts, and undeserving of other people's companionship & terrified of even attempting it because of possibly being rejected, ridiculed, being hurt, etc., etc., etc., alas....sighhhhh... social anxiety disorder & agorapohia.

 

[aligurl09]

8) hey again! omg... i still think about things that people have said to me or about me even if they have happened a few months ago or even years... wow i'm glad there are ppl on here feeling the same way i do!!!

* Ali *

 

[nerdgirl178]

i usually get over things super fast. i dont take things to the heart that much. i guess because I am worse on my myself than anyone can possibly be.

 

[Anonymous]

I think when someone we like or respect is critical of us it's ten times worse,as we have a great need to be liked and acepted by these people.if we are critised by someone we don't really know of don't really like,then it's easier to brush off.I also think that when you have sa,then we only really focus on the negatives in our life.I mean I have a lot of positives in my life,good job & work mates,some cash in the bank,new car with no bank loan,good home life.But I only focus on the negative things like how I don't have a girlfriend,only a couple of friends,no direction in life,no real social life,i'm boring,etc etc...

negative , negative , negative.

But I've started CBT to see if I can start to think more clearly.I know it's taken years to get to this negative point,I hope I have the willpower to wait long enough for my thoghts to even out.

 

[gen1cummins]

me too! i always think people think im awful, and when they do complement me I just think there trying to be nice, i dont belive that anyone would ever really have anything nice to say about me.

 

[Anonymous]

Hi, I've just read through this thread and I just wanted to say that it makes me so happy to know that I'm not alone. It took me alot to even post messages to these forums because as stupid as it sounds I thought that my comments wouldn't be taken seriously here either, (hee hee obviously a sp thing!)...so I just wanted to say if your reading this, and you are like I was (too scared to even post a message) just do it, don't be scared because your messages help people like you..... people like me!

:lol:
TAKE CARE X

 

[Anonymous]

don't take things personally

Ofcourse theres people that feel the exact same way. I've found myself on numerous occasions just about to freak- keeping my mouth shut and needing to flee the seen. I am like many. Today I thought I would just loose my head, so I descided to think of my boyfriend , being beside me and relaxing my thoughts. I went on the web in my new found realization that , yes "I" take things personally. So many sites, and a lot of good tips. I made a sign for my desk and on my fridge. that has a caracter of a duck "let it all wash over you like a water off a duck's back". The websites gave me other tips (positive)- so now if I find myself confronted or if someone else gives me a look I'll refer to my sheet. Just a hint. :idea: [/quote]
Find your own area which calms you that you can also escape (BREATH)

 

[redski]

I was more like this when I was younger.
Nowadays I just think to myself that the person criticizing me does not
know me and how I have had it so why should I take his criticism seriously.
If it is a friends criticizing me then it all depends how he/she does it.
If they are respectful and try to care about my feelings when doing
it then it's fine. I take it as my friend might just be trying to help me,
if it is not like that then I will think that my friend has a problem
that he/she is taking out on me.

The point being to not take it to hurt. People are emotional it could
be for a completely other reason.

 

[Phobologist]

Hi

I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who is over sensitive like myself? When ever someone says something slightly negative, I immediatly take it to heart. I always think that it is ment literally, and take it personally. Its only when I go away and think about it that I realise I just over reacted, and it really wasn't that bad, or wasn't ment to offend me.

I do have SP to a certain extent and I am a very shy person, so can anyone relate to me? Do you think its because I am SP and this is the reason why I am over sensitive?

Many Thanks

Hi Anon,

Do you feel that you are defective, and for this reason you are not loveable, or perhaps not successful, or perhaps not a good person? This is a common feature of folks who feel they are "losers". I very much relate because this is exactly my problem.

 

[scarletlee]

I always take things to heart. My feelings are pretty easy to hurt and i'm really sensitive to criticism. I am also paranoid about offending others so i find myself going over conversations that i've had with people and worrying that they may have taken things that i have said the wrong way.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

I'm extremely sensitive, no matter how much i reason with myself to be otherwise. it goes for both physical and emotional. Withdrawing and avoidance, keeping personal stuff to a minimum, is better than the alternative, mood swings! i always work very hard to keep these in check as best i can. it takes alot of energy.