Jungle
1
Hello peeps,
I was wondering if any of you perceived asking people questions – even to long-time acquaintances – as intrusive, prone to a poor interpretation or met by a Why-do-you-care reaction?
Such a stance has been instilled into me as a kid.
My parents would insist on me replying to random personal questions by "I don't know", even if – for example – my cousin would want to know where my sister was studying. Moreover, my parents would inconspicuously get annoyed at family for asking similar questions even for conversation purposes, because they saw that as an unhealthy curiosity. I haven't really stuck with their "I don't know" reply because it amounted to lying... and for some impactless information on top of that.
As a result, I've developed a self-consciousness towards even asking common questions like "Where do you live?" by fear of having others think that I were a stalker or something. It's now become a hurdle in my social life because of such perception of asking basic questions as potentially bothersome to my interlocutor.
People would therefore think that I'd either not give a toss about finding more about them or that I'd be too egocentric to even care about others, whereas in fact I just don't want to risk making the person uncomfortable by asking what would've made my parents irritated — this is all on a subconscious level.
Reciprocating questions has been my go-to for a while as people wouldn't ask something they wouldn't want to be asked back, but I'm working towards changing this attitude because it's proved more negative than positive so far. One would think they're being nice to give people their space but in fact, come off as selfish.
I realise that such misgivings aren't realistic because few would be rude enough to tell me to mind my own business if they didn't like my questions.
Thanks in advance for your inputs
I was wondering if any of you perceived asking people questions – even to long-time acquaintances – as intrusive, prone to a poor interpretation or met by a Why-do-you-care reaction?
Such a stance has been instilled into me as a kid.
My parents would insist on me replying to random personal questions by "I don't know", even if – for example – my cousin would want to know where my sister was studying. Moreover, my parents would inconspicuously get annoyed at family for asking similar questions even for conversation purposes, because they saw that as an unhealthy curiosity. I haven't really stuck with their "I don't know" reply because it amounted to lying... and for some impactless information on top of that.
As a result, I've developed a self-consciousness towards even asking common questions like "Where do you live?" by fear of having others think that I were a stalker or something. It's now become a hurdle in my social life because of such perception of asking basic questions as potentially bothersome to my interlocutor.
People would therefore think that I'd either not give a toss about finding more about them or that I'd be too egocentric to even care about others, whereas in fact I just don't want to risk making the person uncomfortable by asking what would've made my parents irritated — this is all on a subconscious level.
Reciprocating questions has been my go-to for a while as people wouldn't ask something they wouldn't want to be asked back, but I'm working towards changing this attitude because it's proved more negative than positive so far. One would think they're being nice to give people their space but in fact, come off as selfish.
I realise that such misgivings aren't realistic because few would be rude enough to tell me to mind my own business if they didn't like my questions.
Thanks in advance for your inputs