Do you have trouble shopping?

[Eyes187]

Grocery Shopping
I can't shop normally at any store. At the grocery, I become extremely self-conscious. Everybody is watching and judging it feels like. If there is anyone close enough to see what I'm picking up I will pretend to look at other items until they leave. If another person fills their spot while they leave, I will get mad and go to the next isle coming back later. I get more anxious if I am buying junk food (even stuff like pizza) but am still nervous even when buying all healthy food. I use the self-checkout and try to inconspicuously cover my hands over items as I check them out so people can't see what I bought.

Wal-Mart!
Buying products at say Wal-Mart is hit-and-miss. If I am looking at stuff like kitchen facets, paint, cups, weight scales etc. I will be completely relaxed and will sometimes even talk to people if they are next to me (“I'd recommend all but this weight scale... it broke within a week,” occurred not long ago). Something about buying videos games makes me feel just like I'm shopping for groceries again, though.

Work and Social
I have no anxiety when in a work-type setting, but extreme anxiety in social settings, like weddings. My logic is that at work you are expected to do things and everything is neutral. Social settings, you are on your own about what you're supposed to be doing, like going from autopilot to manual without knowing how to fly.

I remember I used to tell myself that I didn't even like to be social. Kinda like the guy who keeps trying and failing to get a certain girl and ends up saying, “Aw, she sucks anyway!” But my limited social experience has shown that having a good interaction with people can be one of the most stimulating and fun things in the world.

Pissed Off = Relaxed and Anxiety Free!
So far the only thing capable of alleviating my anxiety is being extremely mad. I mean so F-ing mad I feel steam coming out of my head and I don't give a #$%^ about ANYTHING. During those rare times when I am that mad, I actually feel a great sense of peace. I don't have a single care in the world and it feels awesome. I feel like I could do anything. Unfortunately I don't know how I can reliably reproduce this feeling.

What do you think?

 

[futte]

feel the same

Hey,

I actually had to check your username to see if it was me who had started this thread!

I can rely to EVERYTHING you’re saying. Just the thought of grocery shopping scares me to death, and it doesn’t matter what kind of items I have to buy. Say, I have to buy apples and someone is standing in that area, I will automatically go to another isle (and pretend at products there even thou I have absolutely no intention on the products). It is so stupid but I can’t help it.

But I don’t have the slightest problem if I have buy non-food products. Maybe that whole anger thing is a defence mechanism – I get like that when I am scared the most (grocery shopping)

 

[rko74]

shopping

Yeah i have trouble with it, usually i go with my parents but when i get in the line i get really self concious even with my parents there.I help my mum put the groceries out on the conveyer belt thing and im thinking everyone is watching me, what i if they see me "scared" what if i crack up and loose my marbles lol, all sorts of weird thoughts.I had to pay for some groceries at a chinese grocery store today while my friend Brian ran back to get something at his place.I always have this feeling like im being judged and evaluated, i hate it.I wish i could like just strip naked and just do something funny at a time like that lol.

 

[freesyle]

Yeah I went shopping yesterday and I HATED it. I felt like everyone was watching me, judging me, evaluating me, I felt guilty for the stuff I bought and even to look at the slightest bit of junk food made me feel uneasy. I felt ugly infront of other people... even though deep down I know I'm not. In the shampoo isles it was almost like people were thinking you have disgusting hair... I know Im ridiculous.

Some boys did look at me and that made me feel worse even though others would have been flattered. I felt like the checkout girl stared at me and even going into the carpark made me uneasy then i was so fed up a happy song came on the radio and i felt a tear roll down my cheek.. cos I know its all in my head. My therapist said that the reason I feel like this is because I want others to like me so much and thats why I associate so much importance with the person down the street whereas others wouldn't even notice them. maybe thats what others think?

 

[brownbag]

trouble shopping

Yeah I went shopping yesterday and I HATED it. I felt like everyone was watching me, judging me, evaluating me, I felt guilty for the stuff I bought and even to look at the slightest bit of junk food made me feel uneasy. I felt ugly infront of other people... even though deep down I know I'm not. In the shampoo isles it was almost like people were thinking you have disgusting hair... I know Im ridiculous.

yea i can relate to all that. i guess a number of us here all feel that "ugliness" too.
but you're not ridiculous for feeling that way. it's just the sa condition.

My therapist said that the reason I feel like this is because I want others to like me so much and thats why I associate so much importance with the person down the street whereas others wouldn't even notice them. maybe thats what others think?

i think it is that we want others or at least a few ppl to like us, which is why we associate so much importance with people at times.
but of course don't try to hard to make people like you, because wherever you go in life (and i read this somewhere, which is rather true and i agree with it) 20% of the people around you will like you no matter what you do, they just like you..
20% of the people will not like you no matter wHat you do and they'll always find reasons to not like you..

the other 60% of people could go both ways, to them they'll be thinking "yea i like this guy but so what" or "yea i dont like this guy but so what.."
they couldnt really be bothered bout it.

so dont try so hard to make people like you, i guess it's hard with sa, but it's worth trying

 

[boodizm]

I hate shopping in general but grocery shopping has to be the worst. In fact I only go to the supermarket if I am buying a few things so i can get out of that place fast and usually go just before they shut when there is hardly anyone around.
It's strange but, for other shops like clothing shops it is the opposite I am fine if there are a lot of people there. If the place is deserted I always get the feeling that the person behind the counter if staring at me constantly and judging me, and then they come up and ask if they can help, i feel like saying 'just piss off'!

 

[rko74]

pastie

Pastie as on fish and chip shop pastie? I get that feeling alot, i get scared when im in a line and worry the teller will talk to me etc.I just suck it up and try to bury my anxiety and mask it as best as possible.I hate doing this though, its not good to bury your feelings.But i couldnt like burst out crying because i was uncomfortable haha.

 

[AlleyCat]

I can relate so much to this thread. I hate shopping. Wal-mart is like a nightmare for me because I live in such a small town it's really the only place to shop here for things besides just groceries so it's always busy. I prefer when I only need to pick up an item or two and I know exactly what it is I'm getting. I hate shopping carts, they hate me. I have the worst luck with those things. I can't get the cart pulled away from the others or I get one, start to take off, and the darn thing is wheeling itself to the right or left. Argh! I get the most panicky when I'm up at the cash register. I always make sure I bring more than enough money with me because I have a fear of not having enough and being completely embarrassed. I almost never pay with change because my mind is racing so fast I probably wouldn't be able to count it correctly and my hands are shaking too. I was at the grocery store just last weekend by myself picking up some things for my mom and when I got up to the cash register there was a younger guy bagging groceries. I felt like he kept staring at me and that just makes me even more nervous. I'm thinking ok is he thinking I'm attractive or is he thinking man that girl is such a freak and I always think it's gotta be the latter. I also get embarrassed easily over things that I really shouldn't feel that way about like I was thinking great I just had to buy the jumbo roll of toilet paper. :roll: Ugh, shopping just sucks, it almost feels like I'm going into battle and then when I get back home I'm spent.

 

[Kiddo]

Yep! Shopping is hard for me. Not so much shopping it self :!: , but paying for things. I HATE paying for things. I'm not that great with money so I'm afraid that people will think I'm a dumb ass for not knowing how to count money really fast.

 

[sugaryberries]

What I hate most about shopping is when you are in a retail store and people ask you if you want help.

I hate when they ask me, but if I want help, I hate to ask.

 

[brownbag]

- Shoppin' Trouble -

yep, i don't like it when they come asking if i need help.

i've been in alot of situations where the shop attendants just stand there and watch you, right beside you while you're browsing. sometimes it's just standing there in case you need assistance, sometimes they're really making sure you don't steal anything.

i'd say being watched in a shop is the shittiest part ever.
i try to get the words out to tell them to bug off, but inside there's that thought of having the guilt of doing so, especially while they're still around..
so i would usually be screamin' in my head "Go Away! I'll call you if i need any help!"

and to that above, i'll sprinkle some fake laughter - "ha-hah"

 

[cobalt_bluester]

Hi. I can really relate to these posts - I HATE shopping, particularly in supermarkets as there is a social aspect to it. Me and my partner try to go shopping just once a week. The problem with this is that we have to spend longer in the shop than if we were to go shopping 2-3 times a week!!!!

My way of 'coping' with the feeling of being observed in supermarkets is to try and completely ignore everybody, and just focus on finding the things I need to put in my trolley. However, I am always fighting the inner voice that keeps asking things like 'Am I being watched and what are people thinking about me?'

The other day when I went shopping at our local Tesco store, I looked up and saw a man staring right at me. I looked at him for just a few casual seconds, and then looked back again to see if he was still staring. Low and behold the nosy bugger was STILL staring at me and then I thought; 'I am not going to put up with this so I stared (rather aggresively) back at him until he looked away - it worked!!!! But, it just really angers me how nosy some people can be. I feel like poking their eyes out or saying something to them - particuarly when I am feeling stressed which is quite often in my case.

I am still trying to find a better way of coping socially (not just in supermarkets). I know I should try to relax more and try being more friendly to people but this is very difficult as:-

a) I am a shy and self-conscious person
b) I have quite bad depressive episodes
c) I feel like it is going 'against the grain' and...
d) My efforts with some people are not reciprocated

Any tips would be great

Richard

 

[brownbag]

oooohh. a connection.

this was my post some time back, and i think it relates to this, so check it out if u wanna..

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/postlite6786-.html

 

[GIOLANDA]

Shopping: My worst SA fear,if I'm alone. If sb is with me,I feel more confident.

 

[rainy512]

I do Ok shopping usually although I HATE shopping in wal mart because its such a big place. The only time I get nervous is at the checkout. If the lines are long I have to walk around until they are shorter and then I pick up one of those magazines while I'm waiting and pretend to read it. One time I had to leave my cart and run out the door(and it was full) because I got too nervous.

 

[shipost]

Can shop if I'm with somone, can't without. I could but i wouldnt want to, but i want to when im with somone.

 

[Philip]

Wouldn't be able to on my own but fine if with someone

 

[alieno]

You know I used to have such a big problem with this as well. I would be standing in line, thinking people are starring at me and then my heart would beat rapidly, I would sweat and well, you know, I got anxiety from it of course. It used to happen alot when I was in my teens, but now that I am in my early 20's I found a way to control it and that's just by relaxing, clearing your mind from thoughts and focusing on the task at hand. And you have to think to yourself "who cares about people, they are just a parasite on this earth!!" and then get that feeling of superiority over them. "You damn dirty ape, arghhhhh!!" I dunno, it works for me. Now I don't have that problem, but I do get that odd occasion where anxiety creeps up on me, depending on how I feel about myself and what mood Im in.

So in conclusion, kill the Buddha and be done with it!!

 

[brownbag]

How To Waste 1 of Your 7 Posts.

And you have to think to yourself "who cares about people, they are just a parasite on this earth!!" and then get that feeling of superiority over them. "You damn dirty ape, arghhhhh!!"

ahahAHAhahaHAHahaHAhAHHA....!