I wonder if anyone can relate to me here. I feel like I have 2 self images of myself. The first is a self image of how I believe I am and the second is how I believe people see me, and both are poles apart.
I am sure people who have read my posts are sick and tired of me saying that I was always receiving put downs, ridicule and negative judgements about how I looked and a minor speech impediment from the ages of about 14-21 and those negative judgements seem to have brainwashed me into believing people see me as ugly, inadequate, inferior, not good enough, etc. I really do believe people see me as ugly after all those comments and put downs. I am so self conscious being looked at because I believe I am being judged in these negative ways and I just can't stand it.
However I now make the absolute most of myself and when I look at myself in the mirror I think I look cool and fine, I like lots that I see. But as soon as I am around other people I believe people see me as this totally ugly freak who is totally unworthy.
Unfortunately its this image that people see me as ugly that seems to control my mind when I am around people and I cannot seem to shift it no matter how hard I try to work on relevant issues.
Can anyone relate to having 2 self images of yourself?
I am sure people who have read my posts are sick and tired of me saying that I was always receiving put downs, ridicule and negative judgements about how I looked and a minor speech impediment from the ages of about 14-21 and those negative judgements seem to have brainwashed me into believing people see me as ugly, inadequate, inferior, not good enough, etc. I really do believe people see me as ugly after all those comments and put downs. I am so self conscious being looked at because I believe I am being judged in these negative ways and I just can't stand it.
However I now make the absolute most of myself and when I look at myself in the mirror I think I look cool and fine, I like lots that I see. But as soon as I am around other people I believe people see me as this totally ugly freak who is totally unworthy.
Unfortunately its this image that people see me as ugly that seems to control my mind when I am around people and I cannot seem to shift it no matter how hard I try to work on relevant issues.
Can anyone relate to having 2 self images of yourself?