Do you ever feel...

[planemo]

that life/existence/conscience (whatever you wanna call it) rewards people who are outgoing, confident and secure? While it punishes people who are insecure, tentative and lack self confidence.::

I mean one thing I have noticed is that people who are self assured usually seem to get things which aid them further in life. People like us for example, by having a partner or companion may prove to be such a confidence boost, and yet people who already have confidence get the girl or guy.

Maybe my mind is rebelling against reason, and these questions are just silly. I don't know...

But I guess when I think too much things like this pop up in my mind.

So what do you people think?

 

[Danedo]

Your observations are grounded in reality I believe.

However I wouldn't despair over them, as you can become all the things you mentioned.

While there may be some sort of hard wired traits, such as being neurotic or introverted, confidence and other positive things can be learned.

I'd imagine a large part of the positive feed back loop for confident people is simply trying, and not taking failure as the end of the world.

In this sense, there is no real magical difference between people you perceive as confident and 'us'.

So try not to over think things. Of course, that probably won't help you (it did not help me )

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

that life/existence/conscience (whatever you wanna call it) rewards people who are outgoing, confident and secure? While it punishes people who are insecure, tentative and lack self

While there are obvious benefits to being secure and confident and all all that, I don't think it helps to think of it in terms of punishment or reward.

That's making it personal, like there's a conscious entity (God? Karma?) telling you you've been good or bad for something that you can't help being.

Some people are born rich and beautiful and without genetic brain problems; and have wonderful, loving parents to support and understand them all through their development. Other people aren't. You can decide it was sins in a past life or something, or you can deal with the present as best you can.

 

[bigrob]

Yes.


For example, I have a background in management and quality control, and education in total quality management. I have a really hard time with interviews mainly because I don't come across well....I have even had an interviewer call me "backward".

My wife meanwhile is an extreme extrovert and can basically get by on her personality. At the job she has now, the guy had already made the decision on who he was going to hire, but the HR director knew my wife and scheduled her in for an interview. The only reason he did the interview was because it was already scheduled. My wife won him over and got the job on pure personality. Plus, due to her British accent, people here in Kentucky think she is smarter than she really is just because of the way she speaks.

Even her boss, the guy that hired her, has no formal background. He has just been able to get in a position and given a chance to shine and get promoted based off his outgoing personality.

Meanwhile someone like me with a background and education can't even seem to get a chance to start at the bottom because I'm quiet and reserved.

I don't understand and admit it makes me bitter. It has probably helped exacerbate my "problems" over the past few years....it just proves to me how shallow and stupid people are.

 

[boosh]

that life/existence/conscience (whatever you wanna call it) rewards people who are outgoing, confident and secure? While it punishes people who are insecure, tentative and lack self confidence.::

yes, it's unfair. especially when lots of outgoing people i know are complete douchebags and don't deserve half of what they have in life... lol

 

[planemo]

While there are obvious benefits to being secure and confident and all all that, I don't think it helps to think of it in terms of punishment or reward.

That's making it personal, like there's a conscious entity (God? Karma?) telling you you've been good or bad for something that you can't help being.

Some people are born rich and beautiful and without genetic brain problems; and have wonderful, loving parents to support and understand them all through their development. Other people aren't. You can decide it was sins in a past life or something, or you can deal with the present as best you can.

I guess I should explain what I meant by punishment and reward. I don't mean that you are either good or bad, rather if you have the skills to exist in such a way that you are successful then you are at an advantage as opposed to someone who doesn't have those skills (for whatever reason).

The point I guess I'm trying to make is that the world pretty much works on the principles of each human being having the ability to socialize and to meaningfully interact and progress as a result of one another. Now if you have those skills, then you are ok. But if you don't, life on earth/reality etc does not cater for your shortcomings. So in essence you are unable to prosper and thus I mean one is punished and the other is rewarded. I hope that made sense.

But anyway thanks for the responses guys and I guess I shouldn't read too much into things anyway.