do we REALLY have social anxiety??

[newshyguy]

i been thinking about this , if we (the forum) didnt tell you about our social anxiety experiences, would u be able to figure out that everyone in here has social anxiety??

i mean the only reason, i think , everyone in here knows we all have anxiety is because we all shared our experiences but doesnt social anxiety come when we interact with people ? should we have anxiety interacting with ppl in hre too??
but i see you guys interacting in here just fine.

so if you can interact in here, why cant u interact with ppl outside? i mean , u know, that there exists ppl who can understand what ur saying and have the same experiences as you ( people in this forum )
is it just because it is easier here since we cant see each other face to face, have we become so shallow??? do we judge a book by its covers? is that the reason why its hard for us just to be ourselves (like many of you do in here) in the outside?

 

[Richey]

its just a matter of boosting your confidence, thats all

 

[newshyguy]

12

i know , i think we are just making a big deal out of this "anxiety", such a big deal, we dont see what really is going on, that we are struggling with life just as everyone else does

 

[Clash]

Re: 12

i know , i think we are just making a big deal out of this "anxiety", such a big deal, we dont see what really is going on, that we are struggling with life just as everyone else does

Yeah I've thought this also. You just need to keep in mind that it might not be just some natural occurrence and possibly that most of it is in your head.

 

[socratic]

:idea:

 

[newshyguy]

12

to boost our confindence must mean we have low confidence, which probably is because we are bad at doing something,

now imnot ashamed of saying that i have low confidence, especially when it comes to just talking to strangers and being my self and thats just because i got bad socializing skills, but thats something that could be learn. is nothing impossible,its not like i or we dont have the ability to learn that skill. , we are normal, and the "confident" people are just people who have beat us in learning that skill, maybe when i was too busy playing my nintendo this people we outside playing sports and talking, its not too late, i can still catch up, is just that i got left behind

think about it , most of us in here , i think, are young like from 14 to 25 but is anybody in here older??
have you ever met an old man like in his 80s or 70s or 60s that has told you he/she has social anxiety.?? no, right??
so why dont we just grow up, and learn this skill, its not too late, i think the only thing that keeps us in this anxiety cycle, is Fear , thats ALL.

i think anxiety is more of a myth than a real illness, we all got punk'd by God.

 

[newshyguy]

2

i know, same here , my parents were also overprotective, i knew my parents messed me up somewhere

 

[easy]

I'm positive that it's all in your head. If it was some illness then you would either feel anxious all the time or at random moments. Isn't it funny it always happens in social situations? That's because we have all these frightening beliefs about social situations and the opinion of other people, etc.

My mother is ALWAYS worrying, and she's also very afraid. She would have nightmares when we (me and my sister) were young that something awful would happen to us quite often, for example.
She also says things like: "You have to do your hair and make yourself look good, OR YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF." She doesn't say that as a lesson or something, she actually beliefs this herself.

When I argue with her about this, that I only do my hair and stuff when I'm actually going out of the house, and that when I'm on my room I don't care much what my hair looks like, she just gets angry.

 

[scatmantom]

thats all true, but the first time i had a panic attack, i had been fine and out going before it. I was too young to understand social anxiety and i was only 11 so it wasnt as if I had anything to really worry about.

But i see where you are coming from, if I dont think about anxiety and do something having forgotten I have it, it wont bother me, but if i have planned something and have weeks to worry about it in advance, thats when I get all ANXIOUS!

 

[romeno82]

Who has low-selfesteem of you guys? I think thats the true cause of social anxiety, cos everytime you interact with people you have to prove to yourself and to others that you are ok. Or at leat a principal cause. Who of you is a nerd?

 

[BrokenSmile]

this is a really good topic and everybody had the same oppinion this should make us think much at this

 

[Caillou]

I'm a relatively new poster on this forum. I am so glad that I found this site. It did take me a while before I got up the courage to post and even when I do I still worry about what people will think about my posts and about me.

I found out that I have social anxiety disorder about ten years ago. It was a relief to find out there was a name for the feelings that I was experienceing and that there are others like me. Even before I found out that I had SAD I still tried to make myself do things as much as possible and I still do. I force myself to do things alone and I have a job where I have to socialize and speak in front of groups of people. I was in therapy for three years. It helped me get over the depression associated with SAD but it's still a daily struggle. At least now I know what it is.

The other interesting thing about this post are the comments about being raised by a worrying mother. I had that as well. My mother was very overprotective and worried about everything. She also stressed looking your best and shamed me when I didn't.

Now that I have children, I really pay attention to my behavior. I do not want my children to suffer like I do. I'm not perfect and I notice sometimes how I do sound like my mother but at least I am aware of it and I try to watch what I say to my kids and I try to make them feel confident and comfortable with who they are. That's something I never experienced.

 

[crescent]

i been thinking about this , if we (the forum) didnt tell you about our social anxiety experiences, would u be able to figure out that everyone in here has social anxiety???

Yes, I won't be able to tell. But that's simply because we don't reveal it. People who knows me also don't know about it because I can act as if everything is going well (I don't like people think I'm scared of such small matters..). What's more, in internet we can't see people's physical reaction, so how do we know?

i mean the only reason, i think , everyone in here knows we all have anxiety is because we all shared our experiences but doesnt social anxiety come when we interact with people ? should we have anxiety interacting with ppl in hre too??
but i see you guys interacting in here just fine.

I think it's almost the same for me. To post here also I'm self-conscious just like in other forums. Yes, my anxiety is with interacting with other people. With people that also has sa, I can reveal my sa too, but I can't reveal too much about other things because afraid of judgement. I don't think all sa people are not judgemental, I think it depends on the person. With those non-sa people, I cannot reveal about my sa, but maybe I can reveal about other things that are more reasonable for them.

so if you can interact in here, why cant u interact with ppl outside? i mean , u know, that there exists ppl who can understand what ur saying and have the same experiences as you ( people in this forum )
is it just because it is easier here since we cant see each other face to face, have we become so shallow??? do we judge a book by its covers? is that the reason why its hard for us just to be ourselves (like many of you do in here) in the outside?

I can interact quite well with non- sa people who are very understanding, for example my good friend in uni. I never spot her even once talking bad about other people, not even a single bad comment, it's just not her mentality to judge/criticize. That's why I know it's safe to talk to her (most of the things still, not all).
Yes, I judge book by its covers, I realize that, but I know it's not right, but still it happens. It's in my mind and it's not easy to train our minds who has been accustomed to it for so many years without I realize it.

 

[jayfan]

Who has low-selfesteem of you guys? I think thats the true cause of social anxiety, cos everytime you interact with people you have to prove to yourself and to others that you are ok. Or at leat a principal cause. Who of you is a nerd?

my self-esteem couldnt get any lower. i practically look at myself as a piece of crap . am i a nerd ? i dont think so , arent nerds supposed to be smart ? i think the correct term for me would be a loser or a lame


good topic . i agree with the person who created this topic . its all in our heads but its obviously freakin difficult to get over this .hell ive been this way practically all of my life and i didnt know i had sa. i knew something wrong with me but i never questioned it until recently . if you wouldve asked me what sa was 6 months ago i wouldnt have had any idea.

 

[Shonen_Yo]

To address your question on why SA does not appear to affect anyone on these forums.

I think it is just a matter of interpreting stimulents. We have not been adapted to written interpretation as much as physical "face-to-face" interpretation. They say panic and anxiety comes from the confusion of our own analysis of the situation and our response to it. Written response is therefore less understood and respectively less confusing. Where as Physical interaction is much more strenuous on the mind.

To simplify, you could not tell someone's specific feelings in detail in a written response and they would have less confusion as to how to react reducing their anxiety.

 

[jauggy]

It is easier to talk to people on forums than in real life because on forums you can choose who you want to respond to and when. Also no one knows that you're there whereas in real life if you're in the same room with someone and don't know what to say you feel awkward.