Do I Have Social Anxiety Disorder?

[Min]

Ok so, yea this may be an extremly long post...just to warn you.

I think I have social phobia, and I just want to know what you all think?

Ok so two years ago I was really interested in phobias, and I liked to read about them, wierd ones in particular. I had a phobia of eatting in public specifically, I didn't eat lunch at school for at least a year, if I did I would go in the washroom..I didn't go to restaurants or the mall etc. I thought I was the only one, but I came across a site about social phobia, with eatting in public as an example..I read about it, and I couldn't help but notice how well it described me. I was actually really happy..thinking "omg, I'm not crazy, theres other people like me" which is wierd I know...especially because I really have no diagnosis...anyway I will give you all my reasons why I believe I have it.


I'm not sure if this counts, but these are 2 of my very few childhood memories:
ok, first when I was really young..I was riding my tricycle, and I rode off of the driveway, wanting to go to the park or something. My brother told me I wasn't allowed and laughed. For some reason this haunted me for like 2 years, I was so scared he would bring it up because I was so embaressed. haha I have no clue why, that example may not count because I was so young..anyway, I was abit older and again my siblings laughed at me for something stupid, likee setting the table wrong. again, I was embaressed for months. I was a really shy kid..

I don't really remember my childhood much, but I remember the more recent things, like in grade 7 when my fear of eatting in public started getting really bad, I couldn't eat infront of anyone! except family. I also started to fear people reading stuff I wrote, and watching me write.

so yea grade 7 is when it started getting noticable (in grade 10 now), eventually it built up and I had tons of fears, here is a list of some of them, thankfully several aren't as bad as they used to be

walking near busy roads
eatting in public
crowds
sitting in class if someone is behind me
walking infront of class (sucks when I need a tissue, I'm to scared to go up)
making eye contact
being alone with someone in a room
fear of boys/men (when I was younger)
getting changed around anyone (even when I was like 8, I didn't like family even seeing me/ this includes even just taking a sweater off, I have gone several summers in long pants with sweater)
people seeing me run
people seeing me put deoderant, makeup, etc on (wierd I know)
brushing hair in public
talking on phone (especially orering food or talking to professionals/adults. I deley phone calls for months even, and when I get the courage I always stutter and hang up)
people reading stuff I write
People watching me write
people noticing facial expressions (I do not like to smile near people)
cashiers/ordering food
hugging
being pointed at
answering questions
drawing near people
opening gifts near people
presenting
malls
being center of attention
walking in halls





and so much more! just lots of random things that could have either my looks, personality, or thoughts be judged. Because of this I tend to avoid people, the majority of people I don't like. I have my like 3 bestfriends, everyone else anoys me, particularily girls, as they tend to gossip and judge to much (no offense, I only mean the girls in my school) so yea,
It's really frusterating, everyday I do something stupid likee lets say answering a question wrong, and I will be so embaressed and wont be able to stop thinking about it for days..so I ussually just dont answer class questions and stuff, effects my marks.hmm I also constantly worry about how I look, makign sure I have nohing on my face or something like that. My fears screw up alot. I told my friends I think I have it, but they don't believe me. I hide my fear, no one knows I'm scared of this stuff so they think I make it up for attention. I do have a boyfriend, which also makes people think I'm a liar, but the thing is once I get to know someone, and I trust them most of my fears are gone around them. I know I can't just self diagnose, who knows, maybe I'm just shy..I wanted to see a diagnose-person. But I have no clue who does that, plus I don't think you can do that without parents, mine don't know and I don't plan on telling them. There is so much I could say but too much to remember, likee I hide my face with my hair all the time, I take jokes to personally, I get easily defensive and mistaken for rude or mean.

Things have been getting alot better though, I started forcing myself to face fears, and it really works. I also would do extremes, so that the normal thing doesn't seem so bad. Like for example, if I wanted rid of my public eatting fear, I would go to a crowded cafe and eat a big messy burger...which I haven't been able to do yet, but it's the same idea. Anyway, it's hell, but afterward it makes everything else seem like nothing. ahaha

I used to not be able to even swollow food in public..it was like physically not possible. Now after about 3 years of trying and forcing I can eat non messy foods like fries if I am with someone I know, and if I have napkins to wipe myface with after every bite, and to hide my face...

so yea, with those few examples what would you say? am I a social phobic or just shy..or something else? crazy? hahahahahah

It took me over a year to finally join this site, I had been reading it all, and I always thought of how I would write my first post. I imagained it alot better than this...less spelling errors, more gramatically correct, less confusing and with more detail. But I think you get the jist. hahaha

thanks for reading my insanely long post...I don't think I will get any answers because of it. haha

- Min

 

[JonnyD_]

I think most people here will be able to relate to you, in fact i can relate to almost everthing! including this very post.

I believe that by what you described you have SA and probably have it as a Disorder because it's preventing you to live your live normally! But the best person to tell is a doctor!

I've been on your shoes making a post almost like yours! although it's very important to hear peoples opinions, but most people don't ever look for help!

take your time and work towards getting better! don't ever bow to your problem!

 

[Min]

Thanks for replying

when you say doctor, do u mean like a normal like..family doctor? I don't understand the whole doctor thing, hahaha to many professions are referred to doctors

 

[madmike]

Counselling can never hurt and it does sound like you're incredibly shy (though not necessarily suffering from social phobia) Do some research yourself first though and try a few techniques to overcome it. You already have a list, now put them in order of what scares you most to what scares you least, and then word your way up until, with strength and determination, you get to the top. It may take a while.

If you feel you're phobia is really affecting your life though, and you start losing hope, definitely seek counselling help (in the UK, it is your right as a citizen to receive it)

I have managed to get over fears like eating in public, reading the newsaper in public, smiling/facial expressions etc through sheer personal determination.

Next on my list are:

1) Making eye contact with people (which, it's been said, is essential for effective communication and saved one person's life)
2) Feeling relaxed and safe when with a person/ some people
3) Feeling relaxed when with a large group of people
and... my biggest fear!!!
4) Actively interacting with people and losing fear of what they or people around them think. This isn't just a social anxiety problem for me though, it has much to do with generally being a quiet/simple/somewhat retarded and passive guy no reason to lose hope though, all i can do is try!

 

[JonnyD_]

Thanks for replying

when you say doctor, do u mean like a normal like..family doctor? I don't understand the whole doctor thing, hahaha to many professions are referred to doctors

actuallu i use the work for medic, it's silly but i'm afraid to use medic because i don't know if its the right word.

People said to me to find a psychiatrist, i guess its the right person! but i think the thereapist, medic or doctor who is more acessible to you will be able to help, even you family doctor - wish i would love to have.

in my case i'm going to a psychologist monday , i hope it will be alright, it was so hard to make that appointment!

 

[roseycheeks]

hey Min. firstly, good on you for working up the courage to submit your post.

I guess if all these phobias are effecting your daily functioning (by the sounds of it they are) then you might want to seek some professional help - a psychologist or counsellor would be a good place to start. alternatively, you could have a chat to your gp or school/uni/college counsellor (if you're in school) and they could refer you onto one.

Most of the phobias you've listed are fairly common in peeps with social anxiety. even just looking through the list it's appatant that basically all the fears you've listed have some kind of social component to them.

That being said, only someone who is qualified can give you a true diagnosis. bu yea, it seems like you've already developed some exposure type techniques of your own to cope with the fears. Thats really cool. for sure, keep at em, if they're helping,.