Desperation vs Wanting something real

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#1
I have been constantly told that i am coming across as desperate when trying to find someone.
Common suggestions i have been told over the years are:

  1. Find a Hobby
  2. Go to Church
  3. Go Back to School
  4. Go to the Bar
  5. Try online dating
  6. Go Drinking
Well the problem with many of those, is that my anxiety and social anxiety is so great and has been such a problem for so many years, the best analogy that someone gave me a while back is that, When you drive over the same trail days after days for years, you eventually make a grove of a trail through almost anywhere. Thinking is the same way. When you believe something for a long time, and never have had anyone help you steer your way into the bush to form a new trail, you will continue to use that same path. That's my thinking, and that is the best way to describe how i am feeling. I feel trapped because there are thick trees and bushes on either side of the trail. At the time of making the path, it was an empty field. Now there are huge trees in the way of that path. This is what its like for me to try those different things. How can you continue to drive down the same path in a car and expect to plow through another trail, you just will end up wrecking your car.

This is how i feel, and this is how come i feel so desperate. I don't want to come across as such, I just want to feel loved and be a part of someone specials life. But its so difficult that I can't see any hope of making another trail...
 
#3
I get how you feel. All I want is to find that someone who will accept me into their life for who I am and the love I can give them. I really dont care about their looks or what they may or may not have. It's about connecting with that unique person.

And that my friend, is the hardest part. Finding them.
 

lily

Well-known member
#4
i think that focusing on other things you enjoy would be shifting your focus from women if you don't have the confidence that you'll get anywhere with it.
 
#5
i think that focusing on other things you enjoy would be shifting your focus from women if you don't have the confidence that you'll get anywhere with it.
I think to give yourself the best chance of success at love and happiness you need to be yourself.. 100%
 

lily

Well-known member
#7
I have been constantly told that i am coming across as desperate when trying to find someone.
Common suggestions i have been told over the years are:

  1. Find a Hobby
  2. Go to Church
  3. Go Back to School
  4. Go to the Bar
  5. Try online dating
  6. Go Drinking
Well the problem with many of those, is that my anxiety and social anxiety is so great and has been such a problem for so many years, the best analogy that someone gave me a while back is that, When you drive over the same trail days after days for years, you eventually make a grove of a trail through almost anywhere. Thinking is the same way. When you believe something for a long time, and never have had anyone help you steer your way into the bush to form a new trail, you will continue to use that same path. That's my thinking, and that is the best way to describe how i am feeling. I feel trapped because there are thick trees and bushes on either side of the trail. At the time of making the path, it was an empty field. Now there are huge trees in the way of that path. This is what its like for me to try those different things. How can you continue to drive down the same path in a car and expect to plow through another trail, you just will end up wrecking your car.

This is how i feel, and this is how come i feel so desperate. I don't want to come across as such, I just want to feel loved and be a part of someone specials life. But its so difficult that I can't see any hope of making another trail...
within this list r very good options, you have to try at least one of them or find something else.. or you'll get nowhere
 
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