Derealization/Depersonalization

[lunarla]

To anyone who has experienced this to any degree, it's likely one of the most scary experiences ever. Recently I've started to have the worst anxiety and panic attacks of my life. Then, within the past couple days I feel like I've been having almost constant derealization. I'll feel okay in moments, but then I'll get continual blips of these extreme unreal and frightening feelings. Along with that, I've been experiencing a lot of nostalgia that keeps coming back. Just, going right back to the exact feelings I've had in moments and times in my past. This, is also quite scary. It feels like my subconscious is at war with me. I'm almost always introspecting and questioning everythinnnnnng. I don't know what's real and what isn't. I also don't have a very good memory anymore. I think that just adds to not being able to tell what's real or not - not being able to remember what I have felt.

I've been doing some researching online about it and a lot of people describe it as a defense mechanism. Seems odd, seeing as it scares the **** out of me.

Anyone else have had experiences with this? Or just general thoughts to share?

 

[lunarla]

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[Porto]

I'm so sorry to hear what's happen with u. Neve had that so can't help u : ( Did u got to see a doctor? U should talk to one, that can be very damage to your health! Just get to see one and let me know the income please!

 

[ohheybbyitscorixx]

I have a lot of dissociation. It is a defense mechanism. I pretty much explain it like this: When your mind goes through too much stress, it goes on autopilot so you don't have to experience that stress. If you reach a certain level of stress, you will go through this to avoid any more pain/anxiety. With me, I had an abusive childhood, and I will dissociate when thinking about it too much, or when I get flashbacks. A lot of people who have been abused experience this, in combination with PTSD. The flashbacks, I would say, could be PTSD. Although, you can get PTSD from having extreme anxiety flashbacks, too. Talk therapy would probably be the best route to deal with this. Keep in mind, though, it can take a while in therapy to talk through all of what you are experiencing and have a reduction in your dissociation. Just to let you know, I used to have dissociation so bad that I couldn't remember what I said 2 seconds beforehand, so you're not alone in this. I wish you the best.

 

[vj288]

I'll feel okay in moments, but then I'll get continual blips of these extreme unreal and frightening feelings. Along with that, I've been experiencing a lot of nostalgia that keeps coming back. Just, going right back to the exact feelings I've had in moments and times in my past. This, is also quite scary. It feels like my subconscious is at war with me. I'm almost always introspecting and questioning everythinnnnnng.

I'm not sure about Depersonalization, but I can relate to this. I'm not sure if it's the same for you but, they're almost like flashbacks, or flashforwards for things that could happen, and get really distressing or you could say frightening feelings. And they'll just sort of pop into my head, I'll have a normal train of thought and then the "memory" will just sneak in, and I'll feel just really, I don't know the word distressed maybe? I almost I feel like I'm in the moment, whether or not it ever happened or not. I'll usually quickly fight the thought off and think of something else.

Something else notable is while I'm in bed, not necessarily sleeping, but in a tired state, I'll have really vivid images of things that aren't happening. Maybe they're dreams I'm waking up from, I'm not sure, but they seem really real. And when I think about them, it's not like looking back on a dream, it's like looking back on something that just happened, like a memory. Sometimes they involve messages I receive or read online, and I'm so unsure whether they're real or not I literally have to get up in the night and check my laptop for them.

It could all just be a defense mechanism, it makes sense. Trying to protect you from perceived dangers of these experiences in the future. I think it would make you more avoidant, it does me. Usually in reality there's "nothing to be scared of" for these flashback type memories in my head, and actually didn't involve me feeling as bad as I did when they actually happened (if they did). It makes me not want to go into these perceived dangerous situations.