Horatio
Well-known member
Im bloody sick of it, always rearing its ugly head again and again. Socialphobia is one thing, sure it makes my life difficult, damn lonely for one thing, but depression... thats a bloody dark road to walk down.
It aint healthy to have that dark weight on my head every day, sure I can fight it but then Im left so bloody exhausted that I have no energy left to live life, just stay in bed.
Was bedridden by my depression/socialphobia combo for 5 months last year and Im so bloody scared that its gonna hit me again
Im sick of seeing nooses wherever I go and hiding the knives so Im not tempted to hurt myself. Cant even trust myself walking down the friggin road when Im like this cause every part of me seems to be screaming at me to jump in front of the next truck. And all the while I have to pretend to my co-workers and flatmates (who I dont even know) that nothing is wrong
After spending all night feeling phsycially sick from it all and getting no sleep at all I decided to make a doctors appointment. Called every doctor on my side of town... they ALL said they had full patient lists and refused to see anyone who wasnt on their list. So much for the public health system, I cant even get anyone to prescribe me more happy pills
:lol:
this life thing is just like a broken record... the same lonliness... the same long weekends spent in bed... the same side effects from different medication, none of which ever works anyway... the same hostile stares from any girl I dare to smile at... the same dissapointment when my efforts to make friends fall to peices... the same dark cloud hanging over my head... the same downward spiral
when I was 16 it sucked, when I was 18 it sucked more, when I was 20 I was fed up with but now that Im 22 I REALLY HAVE HAD ENOUGH - whats the point if this is all life has to offer?
do all socialphobics get this? does socialphobia always come hand n hand with depression? or am I just fucked up?
Frustrated Horatio
(who has work tomorrow and wants to sleep but can't)
It aint healthy to have that dark weight on my head every day, sure I can fight it but then Im left so bloody exhausted that I have no energy left to live life, just stay in bed.
Was bedridden by my depression/socialphobia combo for 5 months last year and Im so bloody scared that its gonna hit me again
Im sick of seeing nooses wherever I go and hiding the knives so Im not tempted to hurt myself. Cant even trust myself walking down the friggin road when Im like this cause every part of me seems to be screaming at me to jump in front of the next truck. And all the while I have to pretend to my co-workers and flatmates (who I dont even know) that nothing is wrong
After spending all night feeling phsycially sick from it all and getting no sleep at all I decided to make a doctors appointment. Called every doctor on my side of town... they ALL said they had full patient lists and refused to see anyone who wasnt on their list. So much for the public health system, I cant even get anyone to prescribe me more happy pills
:lol:
this life thing is just like a broken record... the same lonliness... the same long weekends spent in bed... the same side effects from different medication, none of which ever works anyway... the same hostile stares from any girl I dare to smile at... the same dissapointment when my efforts to make friends fall to peices... the same dark cloud hanging over my head... the same downward spiral
when I was 16 it sucked, when I was 18 it sucked more, when I was 20 I was fed up with but now that Im 22 I REALLY HAVE HAD ENOUGH - whats the point if this is all life has to offer?
do all socialphobics get this? does socialphobia always come hand n hand with depression? or am I just fucked up?
Frustrated Horatio
(who has work tomorrow and wants to sleep but can't)