whatkatiedid
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Depression ruining my relationship?
- Thread starter whatkatiedid
- Start date
SMFTW07
Member
You should try to find a way where you can go through your depression and express yourself with your boyfriend. I know when you’re really depressed and have went through something traumatic, it’s instinct to not want to do anything, mope around, and just cry over and over again. You have to eventually begin your healing process, which means being more productive and proactive in the world, which will help you heal, but also bring you and your boyfriend closer together.
If your boyfriend leaves, it won’t be because you’re a bad girlfriend. I’m sure he understands you’re going through a lot right now, but you also have to know that he has needs and fulfillment too. I’m sure he wants things to go back to how they were when you first met, and the good news is, that’s very possible!
You have to allow yourself to have fun. It’s going to feel weird or it’s not going to feel right when you do it, but you have to get yourself in the habit and get used to. You should start going out with your boyfriend, whether it be to the movies, a movie night at home, or something fun like bowling. While doing those things, try to let loose and focus on the relationship and try to let the depression that has been affecting you fade in the background. The passion isn’t just going to return on its own, because the depression and everything that’s going on is coming in the middle of that, so you need to work on that and bring it back to your relationship.
It’s okay to be hurt and take a break to have time to heal, but like I said, you eventually have to move forward with your life and begin healing. If you ask me, I think you deserve to have a night with your boyfriend that’s just about the two of you connecting and having fun.
If your boyfriend leaves, it won’t be because you’re a bad girlfriend. I’m sure he understands you’re going through a lot right now, but you also have to know that he has needs and fulfillment too. I’m sure he wants things to go back to how they were when you first met, and the good news is, that’s very possible!
You have to allow yourself to have fun. It’s going to feel weird or it’s not going to feel right when you do it, but you have to get yourself in the habit and get used to. You should start going out with your boyfriend, whether it be to the movies, a movie night at home, or something fun like bowling. While doing those things, try to let loose and focus on the relationship and try to let the depression that has been affecting you fade in the background. The passion isn’t just going to return on its own, because the depression and everything that’s going on is coming in the middle of that, so you need to work on that and bring it back to your relationship.
It’s okay to be hurt and take a break to have time to heal, but like I said, you eventually have to move forward with your life and begin healing. If you ask me, I think you deserve to have a night with your boyfriend that’s just about the two of you connecting and having fun.
Have you tried CBT yet? Lots of other good approaches, books and films online or in libraries or on Amazon.. Give it a try..
Also, I read that depression is one of the emotional states that transfers slowest, people pick up our happiness and enthusiasm quickest.. some might not even notice it if you're depressed.. Especially if there's a crowd or something.. And the new activities and fun may energize you...
People may sometimes confuse 'falling in love' and 'being in love' too.. Falling in love is the exciting period with sparkles and bubbles and butterflies.. Then it develops into something much more real and longlasting, and a bit different.. And some people may find it 'boring' and just go get a divorce or 'start anew' when actually if they gave it a try and work on it things could actually get better than they were before..
This is mostly theory but I've seen it happen..
Also, I read that depression is one of the emotional states that transfers slowest, people pick up our happiness and enthusiasm quickest.. some might not even notice it if you're depressed.. Especially if there's a crowd or something.. And the new activities and fun may energize you...
People may sometimes confuse 'falling in love' and 'being in love' too.. Falling in love is the exciting period with sparkles and bubbles and butterflies.. Then it develops into something much more real and longlasting, and a bit different.. And some people may find it 'boring' and just go get a divorce or 'start anew' when actually if they gave it a try and work on it things could actually get better than they were before..
This is mostly theory but I've seen it happen..