*delete me*

MarCPatt

Well-known member
#2
you mom may have had the same problem

I don't know, but something tells me that maybe your mother had your same problem. Your mother was probably also ashamed, isolated, and misunderstood. A lot of people end up taking drugs, or doing illegal drugs to cover up problems sometimes they themselves don't understand. Only recently, psychologists and psychiatrists have grasped a clearer understanding of social anxiety, what may cause it, their effect on the brain, its physical manifestations, and possible cures. Some people may still not be open minded and may see social phobia as a form of lack of personal strength, demon possession, etc. I urge you to seek professional medical help, so you do not end up repeating your mother’s story. Social Phobia is an illness and does have a cure. You are lucky. You do not have a terminal illness. Some people have no choice but to live with diabetes, lupus, sickle cell anemia, high blood pressure, aids, etc, for the rest of their lives. Many have overcome social phobia and so can you. You just need to seek help. Talk to a doctor now. No parent wants their child to suffer or be ill. Your dad does love you, he is just in denial.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#3
My mind is far from closed, MarCPatt... it is very open, in fact, it is open to the point where it is picturing you right now in your fancy office giving 15 to 45 minutes to each patient.. how many do you see, 2 or 3 a day should keep you well in lap of luxury, perhaps that is why you seem so eager, seem to be on some sort of mission to convince everyone to seek medical/psychiatric help and medication(s), or, maybe you are just a receptionist who is quite fond of your boss and his/her ideas about these disorders and they have you so~ahem~open minded about them.?

Show me a REAL list of people that have been 100% cured with no relapses by your suggested method(s) and I will show you how open minded I REALLY AM. :)

You really should try to comprehend, and this shouldn't be a problem with YOUR OPEN mind ~~that we are all not fortunate enough to have health insurance, or the funds to furnish ourselves with expensive psychs and meds. :roll:
 

Orlando

Well-known member
#4
Hi, aweburn.

I've been in therapy for a while and I feel that it has helped me a great deal. I'm only suggesting it because it sounds like you have no one really to talk to about your SA. It sounds like your friends and family don't understand you. I had the same problem. They would say, "Hey, man, you gotta snap out of it. Are you a man or a mouse? Come'on don't be such a baby!" I couldn't talk to them. They just though I was shy and I would grow out of it on my own. I was angry and frustrated at them. I felt like no one gave me any slack or compassion. It sucked. I had no one to go to just to talk about my problems.

Aweburn, you have some option open ahead of you. Have you applied for medicaid? You may be able to get medical coverage that way? Since you are a US citizen, the government is supposed to take care of you. It's not the best but it is something. Another option is to look for psychological clinics in your area. You might be able to find a psychological clinic in local college. Here you'll have psychologists-in-training conducting the sessions. These students will be supervised by clinical psychologists in charge of them. You'll actually have two people helping you instead of just one! Usually, clinics are paid on a sliding-scale, the price of a session is adjusted toward your income. Last time, I went to a clinic they asked that I paid 15 dollars.

I don't have a list of clients that have been totally cured...but I know I feel better. I am not telling you what to do or demanding what you should do. I am just suggesting. It helped me a lot [if interested read My Story]but you should do what you feel most comfortable with.

Take care. :)
 

Jess333

Well-known member
#6
Hey,

I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. That must really hurt. But's it's not anything that should break you. This is YOUR life, try not to let her break your heart and ruin your life. You have a chance to be happy, take it and run with it. I struggle with my mother not really knowing how to love me, and it hurts from time to time and it killed me for a long time, but she doesn't know any better, she wasn't raised with love either. They have problems and they're doing the best they can, the only way they know how. And in your situation the best thing to do is maybe try to get her help, but if she just refuses, then you have to learn how to release it the best way you can. There's nothing you can do for her. She's wrapped up in her addiction and you can't MAKE someone change.

Hey, so there you are, here we are..we're on this planet, so what are we going to do with our time? Doubt ourselves? Or learn to heal our wounds, to love ourselves and do what WE LOVE TO DO, DO WHAT MAKES AND BRINGS US HAPPINESS.

You have to come to the realization that you are suffering from low self-esteem and you think negatively, constantly doubting your every moment of existence.

Plus, it sounds as if you have some serious hurts that you need to work through...and make peace with in your heart, which is a mental and spiritual journey.

We all have chance to be happy, we really do. We make choices every moment and some of us have gotten into the habit of making choices where we get the shit end of the stick or simply making choices that make us feel badly about ourselves and our lives and situations.

You have to change your mind. Your thought patterns are what is causing your self-doubt.

I say, you need to make peace with your past/your mother, and then slowly start working on raising your self-esteem, you need to learn how to respect and love yourself, for WHO YOU ARE. YOu need to learn how to appreciate WHO YOU ARE.


Only then, will you free yourself from the chains that you've put around yourself.

Life can do that sometimes, it can taint your vision. but you have to learn to choose to think more positively about it for your own sanity and happiness.

I've seen some pretty sad and fearful situations, maybe that's what caused me to think so negatively about life and things, but I realize that I have a choice: think negatively about it and let it drag me down to hell with my nails scraping on the ground trying to just barely hold on to life, OR, choose to not let the things that have happened to me decide my fate. I decide it, and when you realize that YOU are the master of your life, the master of YOUR SHOW, you gain power and control.

Now? You probably feel out of control, powerless, like you're a victim to the situations that happen in your life, when you realize that you MAKE choices about the situations that happen in your life, you gain that control back.

Therapy is good. A good caring therapist will hold your hand through this all and they will help keep you on the right track.

Good luck. "I feel your pain". I know what it feels like to slowly see your own mother drift away, even though they're still alive.

But, it's taken some time, and I feel in control in the situation. I'm okay without her. I've got me to lean on now.

Hug::

Jess
 

Jess333

Well-known member
#7
Some other things

Your friends who don't have SA will NOT understand most likely, you can sit there and explain it all day and they just don't understand it's weird.

Forget trying to explain it, just focus all your energy on your recovery and having fun with your friends instead of explaining yourself.

Don't give up on the GREAT jobs, you know that deep down in your heart you CAN DO it and would excel at those jobs (you know youre gifted with pc's etc. you know you can do it), but you just dont' want to do it, because you'll be nervous or around people "better" than you. THey"RE NOT BETTER THAN YOU. you just think you're lesser than they are. That's what you need to work on.

When you work on your self-esteem, and make your thoughts positive and learn to start cherishing the great and individual qualities that you have you all the sudden start wondering how you could have ever thought that aobut yourself.


but i'll leave that for you to experience for yourself.

You've got a chance at life, do what you need to do to feel truly happy.

Don't waste your time thinking irrational thoughts about yourself. It's purely a waste of time and you're lying to yourself.
 

Jess333

Well-known member
#8
Re: you mom may have had the same problem

"Social Phobia is an illness and does have a cure. " MarCPatt I love your posts, but I just don't feel comfortable with this statement. I think the word illness has such a negative conotation like you're sick and tainted somehow. When one thinks of illness one usually conjures images of a person crippled with sickness that needs some sort of external cure.

Instead of the word illness, I would put "Habit" or "condition". Becuase a foreign body did not come in to create the condition, we created it by our thought patterns, so therefore habit/condition seems more appropriate. SA is a habit that needs to be removed and replaced with a new productive happiness causing habit.
 

Jess333

Well-known member
#9
Hey, hey don't be so aggressive. Be calm, no one is attacking you here. I don't think MarCPatt is a psychologist, no one is claiming to be one here. We're just trying to help and share advice. But I am in school studying to be a psychologist. And no, money is not the fuel for my passion for being a therapist. My fuel is going through SA myself and depression and I truly want to help as many people achieve happiness as I possibly can. Psychologists aren't out to get you, in fact no one is. psychologists are there to help you. They have to eat too.

There are sliding scale therapy offices available. If you really need the help, you can find it somewhere. And you can get free Paxil and meds if you apply. I got free paxil for a whole year straight. I didn't pay a dime.



Anonymous said:
My mind is far from closed, MarCPatt... it is very open, in fact, it is open to the point where it is picturing you right now in your fancy office giving 15 to 45 minutes to each patient.. how many do you see, 2 or 3 a day should keep you well in lap of luxury, perhaps that is why you seem so eager, seem to be on some sort of mission to convince everyone to seek medical/psychiatric help and medication(s), or, maybe you are just a receptionist who is quite fond of your boss and his/her ideas about these disorders and they have you so~ahem~open minded about them.?

Show me a REAL list of people that have been 100% cured with no relapses by your suggested method(s) and I will show you how open minded I REALLY AM. :)

You really should try to comprehend, and this shouldn't be a problem with YOUR OPEN mind ~~that we are all not fortunate enough to have health insurance, or the funds to furnish ourselves with expensive psychs and meds. :roll:
 

Flax

Active member
#11
I believe you might be in the mental state I was back before I got my first job. I freaked out whenever people told me I had to get a job. I like you tried to be as little of a burden on my family as possible so they didn't get angry at me. It came to a point where every time I said anything about money, products or services I'd get yelled at to get a job. I couldn't even talk to them anymore because every time I said something I heard "Get a Job!" Then one day I was cornered in my room while I was on the computer and my mom kept telling me to get a job over and over and I lost it and slammed my arms into the slide out keyboard holder and broke it off my desk. I took my hands and smashed them into my face and forehead and with clenched teeth said, "I need to go to a hospital." I cried afterwards. My mom is stupid when it comes to knowing how someone feels. I imagine my mom and brother must have thought I was a weirdo when I did that. I was hoping that maybe they'd back off a bit because of the outburst, but they didn't. Then I sent an e-mail telling my mom I was depressed and suicidal and explained why I was acting the way I was. I did that because I didn't feel like talking in person. She read it while I was in the room and I think my eyes watered up. She was supportive and told me she loved me. They backed off and let me choose the right time to make the next step in my life. I ended up getting a job in 2002 and I still work there. I thought I just had depression back when I sent that e-mail, I didn't know that my fear of going outside had a more specific name. I too build computers and I played an MMORPG (Asheron's Call) a lot back in the day. I don't like lying, I hate when I'm lied to I don't steal I don't do drugs and I feel absolutely no urge to ever do those things.
I also go through those periods where your extremely into doing something and then it just dissappears. I used to make maps for Half-Life and I was obsessed with it. I felt like I was extremely good at it and I even became interested in working for a game development company. That has been totally erased though. Now I just work and I have no interest in anything really. I have no future plans, I don't like playing computer games anymore, I have all the consoles that are currently out and I don't play them, I used to be an artist and now I don't like to draw, paint or do any of that. I feel like I'm being a moron by not sticking with art. Art is my gift and I'm not honing my skills. I wouldn't be suprised if other people who aren't as good as me surpass me because I don't practice at all while they continue to become better and better. I guess my only passion right now is to weigh 160 or below. I weighed 210 last year and now I weigh 176-180lbs. Hmm... the last time I worked out this hard was back before I got my first computer.
I don't know what this post does to change anyone or anything, but I felt like posting it.
 
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