Dear Diary, I fail at life.

[IcarusUnderWater]

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[Infected_Malignity]

stop beating yourself up over it. it's anxiety, and anxiety isn't always as deeply rooted as you might think. in reality, you didn't do shit to make this happen. it's not like you fucked up real bad and ended up this way as a consequence, right? so why rip yourself apart over it?

social anxiety is no different from regular-ass anxiety. would you blame yourself for being afraid of something other than social embarrassment? think about it. now add the word cockroach to your dictionary. now say TARANTULA!!

i got this ebook from the nets that would be right up your alley... it's less than a meg and it's packed with info (short reader though) about social and generalized anxiety. PM me if you want it, dude. and do yourself a favor: stop blaming yourself homie!!

 

[blonderedhead]

my heart goes out to you icarus as I myself am going through an almost identical situation and I know how frustrating it can be so I'm not exactly in a place to give advice but i just wanted to say I liked your candidness. I mean if it weren't for the people on here like you that are so open with what your going through I would be going absolutely mad. and also since I can't really give any advice I'd just like to wish you the best of luck.

 

[ghostpicnic]

stop beating yourself up over it. it's anxiety, and anxiety isn't always as deeply rooted as you might think. in reality, you didn't do shit to make this happen. it's not like you fucked up real bad and ended up this way as a consequence, right? so why rip yourself apart over it?

social anxiety is no different from regular-ass anxiety. would you blame yourself for being afraid of something other than social embarrassment? think about it. now add the word cockroach to your dictionary. now say TARANTULA!!

i got this ebook from the nets that would be right up your alley... it's less than a meg and it's packed with info (short reader though) about social and generalized anxiety. PM me if you want it, dude. and do yourself a favor: stop blaming yourself homie!!

Hey malig, thanks for your reply. I don't beat myself up about it per say... it's more that i know i have ultimate control over it but i don't know how to use that control to defeat the anxiety which boils in to frustration. Is the book on torrent?

I agree that anxiety isn't that deep rooted but it just feels like it is... and i haven't experienced normal (relaxed) interaction for a looooong time. What's the book called please?

edit: I rip myself up over everything. I need to get out of my self fulfilling prophecies............

edit2: ok i admit it... i feel sorry for myself. It is the only way out at times. :roll:

Maybe you can use this control to not be manipulated by others. You can say that you are being manipulated because you are letting them get to you.

An example I've read of this is where a man goes to buy his newspaper everyday, is treated poorly by the seller. But still, everyday the man returns to the same seller, greeting him politely and smiling at him even though the seller continues to treat him harshly. The man's friend asked why he continues to take this abuse, and the man replies, "Because I will not let this person have any control over my behavior."

Not word per word, but this is how I remember it. It was not meant to be in some retorting way, rather in a contentment sense.

 

[miss_amy]

Do you think that the anxiety sends out signals, almost makes us targets for people to treat us badly. I feel like I am a nice person, give far more than I take and I have definitely had more than my fair share of bullying and nastiness. There has to be something about me that sends off signals that says I'm a target. I wasn't bullied at school its as an adult.

 

[Gone]

Do you think that the anxiety sends out signals, almost makes us targets for people to treat us badly. I feel like I am a nice person, give far more than I take and I have definitely had more than my fair share of bullying and nastiness. There has to be something about me that sends off signals that says I'm a target. I wasn't bullied at school its as an adult.

I think being nice and charitable is considered a sign of weakness, so yeah i think it makes you a target, sad as that is. A bully would much rather poke fun at a nice (seemingly weak) person then another bully.

Ive often pondered this in the past, what would happen if i just let go of all the morals and just became a selfish bastard, lying when it suits me, doing whatever i want without any concern for my fellow humans, i would probably be better off today if i did.

 

[jayo]

Anxiety makes up fear informal social situations.
As a result we seek the approval of others to help calm us down.
This sends signals to bullies that we can be intimidated easily.

Do you think that the anxiety sends out signals, almost makes us targets for people to treat us badly. I feel like I am a nice person, give far more than I take and I have definitely had more than my fair share of bullying and nastiness. There has to be something about me that sends off signals that says I'm a target. I wasn't bullied at school its as an adult.

I think being nice and charitable is considered a sign of weakness, so yeah i think it makes you a target, sad as that is. A bully would much rather poke fun at a nice (seemingly weak) person then another bully.

Ive often pondered this in the past, what would happen if i just let go of all the morals and just became a selfish bastard, lying when it suits me, doing whatever i want without any concern for my fellow humans, i would probably be better off today if i did.

 

[IcarusUnderWater]

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[miss_amy]

I'm not sure I'd want to be selfish as such but I have decided to say no more and also speak out more when people are doing something I'm not happy with. I've managed to do it a bit but it feels so alien for me, I've always been the one to step aside or put others first.

Its caused a few problems with conflict which I hate and I've ended up upset (why do I get upset when I tell people you can't treat me like this?) but I'm hoping that the message that I can't be messed with or pushed about will eventually get through to people.

 

[Gone]

I don't think being selfish is something you can decide to become, either you are or your not, now the bright side of being selfish i guess would be that they don't know they are and therefore live in perfect happiness.

Amy, you shouldn't have to feel bad telling people bad behaviour is not ok, and stick with it, don't give in to the pressure of letting things go back to the old ways.