Dealing with this diease

Some people call agoraphobia a disorder, I call it a disease. a disease so strong it will shut your will power to live down. a disease that will take away every happiness out of your a life, a disease which will leave people wondering why, why cant he, why wont he, or the biggest question why me? I am a 25 year old white male, that has been battling this disease for 2 years, I use to be very active, always working, out cruising the town, never was a home body, until one day my world was turned up side down from another life altering disease, A disease that one day can be my demise. it threw me into a dark state of depression so extreme, that I complicated suicide, there was one thing that keep me from reaching the point of actually following through with it, that was family, I didn't want them to feel the hurt or blame themselves. these are both secrets that I don't share until now.
This disease has opened my mind up in many ways, some good, some bad.
One day I hope to wake up and be cured just as fast as it came on, wishful thinking I know, but hope is all I have left.............................
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
One day I hope to wake up and be cured just as fast as it came on, wishful thinking I know, but hope is all I have left.............................

I've been told by my therapists that this happens for some people.
One day they're depressed, agoraphobic, unemployed... the next morning they wake up, go outside and get a job-- and they're no longer depressed or anxious.

I don't think we should count on it happening, though.
All you can do is work on one thing at a time and try to stay positive somehow.
Be open to small changes.
 

starburst

Member
I understand all too well what you're going through. Agoraphobia is so unnatural and as time goes on it just eats away at your soul. I work VERY hard at fighting it, constantly reminding myself of who I am and what I may still be able to achieve in life...You're so right that people will be wondering why? My family have lost respect for me because I'm rarely ever at the family get togethers. My parents are ashamed of me because I no longer work. My agoraphobia has completely changed the way all the people once close to me now view me. It took me a while to be okay with the fact I get treated differently. I don't get pity, not that I'd want that, but oddly enough I feel I get disdain. It's hard enough to have to deal with agoraphobia on a day to day basis, and knowing all it can take from you like friendships, independence, your hopes and dreams, etc without having people make you feel worse about yourself. So these days I just feel sorry for them, for their lack of understanding, empathy and sheer ignorance. Most people who have never gone through agoraphobia will just never be able to make sense of it. You can't ever feel too guilty about things, it's not as though we chose to have this. I know what you mean by having your mind opened up in a lot of ways by this disease...We have so much time on our hands to contemplate everything from every angle.

Always hold on to that hope you still cling to. I've made progress through baby steps and being more rational about my situation and kinder to myself. I recommend anyone in our situation do the same.
 

Jaysonguy

Active member
It's not a disease though and calling it a disease is bad for two reasons.

1. It blurs what's wrong with you. Getting better means understanding what's wrong, not clouding it up even more with a title that doesn't belong.

and more importantly...

2. You're vindicating every single thing anyone has said about you being an agoraphobic because you just had a "disorder" and now in order to measure up you're calling it a disease.

You, just like me, have a disorder and it's just as real as any other ailment someone can suffer from.

Agoraphobia is a horrible thing to live with and you are no less of a person because you have it and you are no more of a person once you've conquered it.
 
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