deal with the devil

[thoughts]

im sure alot of you know my thoughts and that iv been posting on here alot and that i thought they were geting better but terns out they got much worse but in a diffrent way. my thoughts no longer control me i control them i dont have urges anymore. my thoughts have been traded with planing. iv started to look up assassins, hitman, contract killers ect ect and how to kill people. iv been thinking how to kill people in slow ways to get them to say what i want and stuff. iv allso been finding out ways to kill people without being noticed at all like poisons silancers traps. and the worst of all my canable thoughts have allso been traded in to a form like this. when ever someone gets a cut and i can see there blood my mouth gets realy watery and stuff and when i bleed i like the tast of the blood for some reson?!?!?!?(WTF) and iv started to paying more attention to cooking on how to cook meats and large meats what to use what ways to cook it aswell. from the looks of it i dont need to go to a syco ward anymore i just need to talk to people. I CAN CONTROL MY THOUGHTS. i do not have outburst of uncontroleble thoughts so i can control myself now. but me thinking about this just out of pure curiosaty is wrong. am i geting worse or better?

 

[Hoth]

Actions are wrong. Thoughts aren't wrong. Thoughts are just warning signs of possible future wrong actions.

I CAN CONTROL MY THOUGHTS.

That sounds like a really nice ability, wish I had it.

 

[rylie]

........r u for real???

 

[thoughts]

........r u for real???

sadly yes the only reson y i post this on this site is b/c there are no sites for my problem so this is second best place for me im sorry if some of you dont belive me if you dont belive me plz dont cry about it to me on the fourms if you have a problem with me send me a PRIVET msg

 

[Thelema]

Go get some help. This is a social anxiety forum...when people find it hard to deal with social life and social constraints, they come here. We can't relate with someone talking about murder and cannibalism

 

[thoughts]

well point me in the insain murder canable forum and ill be on my way

 

[sabbath92002]

www.dictionary.com

 

[noblame4]

If you dont mind, will you please ask yourself a few questions?

1.Are you white (caucasion)
2. Is your I.Q. normal to bright+
3. Despite being intelligent, did you do poorly in school, or do unskilled work?
4. Do you have an absent or abusive father? (physical, sexual)
5. Do you have an abusive or dominating mother? (Physical, sexual, mental-as in, humiliated by mother in public)
6. Did you manifest psychiatric problems in childhood? (such as torturing animals, preoccupation with fire)
7. Did you feel suicidal as a teenager?
8.Do you have an abiding interest in deviant sexuality? (as in fetishism, voyeurism, S&M)
9. Did you wet the bed up until your teens?

~These are common traits shown by serial killers, such as Edmund Kemper, Charles Manson, ext.

I dunno, man. Im worried about you looking into going about it. I wish you'd go to a psychiatric hospital. Or at least tell someone you know about what you're going through. Wards arent prisons. I hope nothing comes of this, I hope you'll be okay.

 

[sabbath92003]

Wake up kid
Its half past you think
Nothings really changing but the date
You a grand slammer but you no Babe Ruth
You gotta learn how to relate
You'll be swinging for the pearly gates
Ohh I got all answers, lo and behold
You got the right key baby but the wrong key hole, yo


Well I woke up this morning
On the wrong side of the bed
And how I got to thinkin'
About all the things you said
About ordinary people
And how they make you sick
And if callin' names kicks back on you
Then I hope this does the trick

'Cause I'm sick of your complainin'
About how many bills
And I'm sick of all your bitchin'
'Bout your poodles and your pills
And I just can't see no humor
About your way of life
And I think I can do more for you
With this here fork and knife

(Chorus)
Eat The Rich
There's only one thing that they are good for
Eat The Rich
Take one bite now - come back for more
Eat The Rich
I gotta get this off my chest
Eat The Rich
Take one bite now - spit out the rest

So I called up my head shrinker
And I told him what I'd done
He said you best go on a diet
Yeah, I hope you have some fun
And a don't go burst the bubble
On rich folks who get rude
'Cause you won't get in no trouble
When you eats that kinda food

Now they're smokin' up their junk bonds
And then they go get stiff
And they're dancin' in the yacht club
With Muff and uncle Biff
But there's one good thing that happens
When you toss your pearls to swine
Their attitudes may taste like shit
But go real good with wine

Chorus

Believe in all the good things
That money just can't buy
Then you won't get no bellyache
From eatin' humble pie
I believe in rags to riches
Your inheritance won't last
So take your Gray poupon my friend
And shove it up your ass

Chorus

Eat The Rich
There's only one thing that they are good for
Eat The Rich
Take one bite now - come back for more
Eat The Rich
Don't stop me now, I'm goin' crazy
Eat The Rich
That's my idea of a good time baby

 

[Richey]

If you dont mind, will you please ask yourself a few questions?

1.Are you white (caucasion)
2. Is your I.Q. normal to bright+
3. Despite being intelligent, did you do poorly in school, or do unskilled work?
4. Do you have an absent or abusive father? (physical, sexual)
5. Do you have an abusive or dominating mother? (Physical, sexual, mental-as in, humiliated by mother in public)
6. Did you manifest psychiatric problems in childhood? (such as torturing animals, preoccupation with fire)
7. Did you feel suicidal as a teenager?
8.Do you have an abiding interest in deviant sexuality? (as in fetishism, voyeurism, S&M)
9. Did you wet the bed up until your teens?

~These are common traits shown by serial killers, such as Edmund Kemper, Charles Manson, ext.

I dunno, man. Im worried about you looking into going about it. I wish you'd go to a psychiatric hospital. Or at least tell someone you know about what you're going through. Wards arent prisons. I hope nothing comes of this, I hope you'll be okay.

Lots of normal people could pick out choices in that list though and they wouldn't hurt a fly, its sort of like finding out whether or not well known serial killers drink tea or coffee and so you make the link but just as many ordinary people do the same ...i'm not saying those questions shouldn't be asked if its common amongst murderers, but i'd say the most important question would be:

"do you show signs of psychotic uncontollable behaviour"?
"do you have anger issues"? ..
"do you show extreme hatred"?
"were you abused by your parents"?

by the way i'm not saying those questions are wrong, it just that i can see a few in that list that ive experianced and i'm not a volent person whatsoever .. i can control my anger and bitterness by taking it out on the basketball court or by viciously playing my guitar, i dunno maybe i'm just on the defensive here for no real reason ...

i believe all of this comes down to controlling your actions, its like learning how to ride a bike, its easily done with time and patience and that is the only way 'thoughts' can control these feelings, the fact that he can't made a distinction that its wrong to hurt people in this way means that seeking help is pretty much a given ..

 

[thoughts]

i relize i have a very big problem a few years ago in class in the 9th grade we were reading a book there was this child in the book that was sick couldent eat was dying slowly and was going to die in a painful slow way so someone killed the baby out of pitty. the teacher whent around the room asking what we would do everyone said they would help the child and make it better when he got to me i couldent answer then i finaly did i said yes i would kill the child in a fast painless way he got mad at me for saying that and got in to a huge fight about if killing people were right or wrong but the more i thought about it the more way i thought of how to kill it as fast as i can the teacher punished me for giving my thoughts on the book

 

[noblame4]

Nah, I'd do the same as you. Mercy killing happens all the time, by many good, regular people in awful situations (taking people off life support, DNR orders). I dont think there's anything wrong with what you said. It certainly doesnt equate to sadism.

Richey~ I dont think two or three of them would amount to much, but a very high percentage of american jailed offenders showed most or all of those traits. Also, I forgot to mention that in a book I read by an FBI psychologist (and others) that empathy impairment is like a prerequisite. Thought's story about the suffering baby sounds like empathy to me, so hell. I just think he really ought to see someone.

 

[Helyna]

Go get some help. This is a social anxiety forum...when people find it hard to deal with social life and social constraints, they come here. We can't relate with someone talking about murder and cannibalism

Well, that's harsh. This is the only place a lot of us have to talk about our problems. All problems. And, seriously, what forum talks about murder? And if one did, would you want to go there?

the teacher whent around the room asking what we would do everyone said they would help the child and make it better when he got to me i couldent answer then i finaly did i said yes i would kill the child in a fast painless way

So would I, in principle. I know I'm in no place to imagine doing this, but I believe suffering is much worse than death. And I'm not in any way violent, so this incident might not be so terrible.

You need to get help from a professional now. If something did happen and you did hurt someone, it would ruin the rest of your life, not to mention what it would do to the person/people affected. You haven't done anything wrong, so this is the time.

 

[JonnyD]

man i'm so selfish just to say it, but i'm glad i'm not around your area you know...

i think you're not getting better, just getting more calculist, you should try finding the root of this evil.

the techer story is a nice story, the teacher was unprepared to deal wiith your thoughts and accept it, the book talked about a matter far to important to teach for kids, i has a teacher whose tryed to put their religios thoughts throught the kids, i'm glad shes retired...

but i think the story has a better point, at the time you had a logical view on killing the child, you would kill for pitty - but now you describe things in a more irrational way, when this thought started to lose rationalitty?

i myself when i was a preteen thought a lot of killing , but it was because i was being bullied and didn't have any friends present in that grade, i thought of scarry things ... the point is that you were not always thinking like this, somewhere on your way you started thinking of killing and added the cruelty part. You could try using your self knowledge to find it.

don't know whats your age, or if you would pass the sanity test, but i think you would do a very good police investigator, with the stomache and the mind for all those gross things. or it would only five you the chance to become worst on your problem... maybe after that you should get the police carrer, there are people with a taste for it (gore and stuff)... i personally hate everything related to death



thinking a little better this is all very sick. i remember that guy who killed his brother in a outburst of fury because of a videogame, he was 16 , today hes 18... i think he's not in a good shape now, probably being used as a "ragdoll" in the jail... i think you should at least get the chance to get help, before anything worst happens to you or others.

 

[thoughts]

funny you should say that about the csi thing. i was allways told by my parents and teachers to take up a job like that aswell as surgen and odtopsy related jobs