Conversation tires me...

Zooman

Well-known member
#1
Does anyone else get exhausted by having to talk to other people? I feel like i always have to find the perfect words and everything and it just completely kills any sliver of hope in me enjoying communicating with other people. I notice i don't have this problem as severely on here, probably because it is online and i also feel like a lot of people on here understand where i'm coming from, but it still exists.. Anyways, idk if this is like a combination of my anxiety and ocd, but it makes it really hard for me to talk to people.. I always feel like i am being judged and i just want to say the right thing.
 

DanielLewis

Well-known member
#2
I feel the same way when talking to people. Well, it doesn't feel exhausting to me, but just like a huge challenge to keep the conversation going and to make it fun or interesting for me and the other person/people. I feel like I come across as boring for not expressing myself enough emotionally and not being humorous, etc. It also takes the enjoyment out of the interaction because, instead of being completely relaxed and not caring what they think of me, I'm trying very hard to think of things to say and worrying about how I come across/the impression I'm making. Think back to fun and interesting conversations you've had in the past with people you were really close to, like a good friend. Remember how relaxed you were? You didn't have to think at all hardly about what to say. You just let everything come out naturally from the subconscious without a second thought. This is how to truly have an enjoyable conversation, when you're not trying to say the 'right' thing. You were close to this person so you knew it didn't matter about saying the right thing. You guys already accepted each other for who you were. Why isn't it this way with people we just meet? We're so worried about saying the right thing, but what is the right thing? Who judges whether you said the right thing? My guess is it's the other person, and if they disapprove of what you say, you feel you said the wrong thing. This is a bad way of thinking because you're needing others approval for everything you say and do. It's ridiculous, but I fall into this trap too. What we need to do is say and do whatever we want to do, not what others want us to do. This doesn't mean to be selfish. It just means that, in something as simple as interacting with someone, we're not worrying about whether we're saying or doing the right thing according to someone else's standards.
 

nicole1

Well-known member
#3
Yes. 15-20 minutes and I'm out of energy and stuff to say. It's like a performance of sorts. I'm not sociable at all. I don't know how to truly hold a conversation. I can fake it up to a point, then I want to go home.
 

Zooman

Well-known member
#4
Yah i already knew this was my SA, but i just wanted to know that i'm not alone. I wish i could control this crap...my SA makes me feel like my humanity is being taken away when i can't express myself in front of people for who i truly am...
 

fate12321

Well-known member
#7
I feel the same way when talking to people. Well, it doesn't feel exhausting to me, but just like a huge challenge to keep the conversation going and to make it fun or interesting for me and the other person/people. I feel like I come across as boring for not expressing myself enough emotionally and not being humorous, etc. It also takes the enjoyment out of the interaction because, instead of being completely relaxed and not caring what they think of me, I'm trying very hard to think of things to say and worrying about how I come across/the impression I'm making. Think back to fun and interesting conversations you've had in the past with people you were really close to, like a good friend. Remember how relaxed you were? You didn't have to think at all hardly about what to say. You just let everything come out naturally from the subconscious without a second thought. This is how to truly have an enjoyable conversation, when you're not trying to say the 'right' thing. You were close to this person so you knew it didn't matter about saying the right thing. You guys already accepted each other for who you were. Why isn't it this way with people we just meet? We're so worried about saying the right thing, but what is the right thing? Who judges whether you said the right thing? My guess is it's the other person, and if they disapprove of what you say, you feel you said the wrong thing. This is a bad way of thinking because you're needing others approval for everything you say and do. It's ridiculous, but I fall into this trap too. What we need to do is say and do whatever we want to do, not what others want us to do. This doesn't mean to be selfish. It just means that, in something as simple as interacting with someone, we're not worrying about whether we're saying or doing the right thing according to someone else's standards.
Holly crap! You summed up what I was going to say in that one paragraph! :applause: I, too, can relate.
 
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