Constant anxiety and regret after house fire and my friend gone forever

milo2020

Active member
#1
Ever since I saw my cousin's house and other houses where she lives on fire, my anxiety levels have gone up the roof. It was sad seeing it.

The next day I read that a friend of mine there was trapped in his house, heavily drunk and couldn't come out.

Its a week today, and I still find it hard to get over it. Let go....

I feel lost.

Sometimes I feel fine after crying, but I have so much regrets.

I often think of our fun childhood years when I go off there to their country

I regret we never communicated as much as I wanted, I regret I never went there last year, I was stuck in my own little life crisis and depression.

I often imagine him, I only have four close friends, despite the minor language barrier, I liked him. He accepted me for who I am.

While people in school thought I was a weirdo, and I had no friends here, he was one of my friends over there, who accepted me into his life.

I often imagine our childhood years and him still being there now...

I wish we had more time, my social anxiety levels have decreased over the years, 2 years ago we hanged out, had fun, I wished we saw each other more....
but now its too late. And that hurts... And I hate myself for letting anxiety control my life, and can't let go of regret.

My social anxiety, awkwardness and depression increased over the years, it strained our friendship in a way, we communicated more on Facebook than in real life.
Even when I was there.

I regret everything, and I know life goes on and I can find another, and still got some friends over there, even if they are far and busy in their life now.
But I feel so heart broken, regret everything, hate myself for letting anxiety rule my life, and just wish it was not true.

I feel anxious about death, death always makes me emotional. I feel anxious about the fact he is gone forever.

I still feel anxious about what happened even if it was through a video from a local news there.

Letting go is so painful. I feel it crippling inside me, the thought he is gone forever, and its too late now.

I do get on with everday life, but inside after a week, I'm still hurting.

My cousin lost her home and everything, I feel I'm being selfish grieving and thinking more of him than them.

I feel so much anger to the ones responsible for the fire.

Even though I was not so close over the years still liked him and as much as I miss the happy memories, I regret the ones that never happen.
 
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Miserum

Well-known member
#3
He sounded like a good person. I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't think the pain of regret ever leaves you when something like this happens. It definitely subsides over time, however.
 
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