UnOccupied
Well-known member
So, after my 6th week of CBT, i have been feeling noticeably better more often. But, here is a problem i have.
When i am feeling down (anxious, and then depressed), i have such a hard time being rational, because i believe my negative thoughts. I guess that is pretty normal for SA, but, here's my other problem.
Sometimes, when i am feeling down, but i REALLY want to feel normal again, like when i need to see someone, or walk into a crowded place with lots of people, i will tell myself something positive, that seems to resonate with me. This thought i tell myself, actually works sometimes, meaning it completely diminishes my anxiety, makes me get really happy, and almost to the point of mania. I know it is not mania, but its almost like i get so excited, and happy that i made myself feel good all of a sudden, that i get scared. I tell myself i don't deserve to feel this way, and i have a fear of going back down again. Its almost like the quick transition from feeling depressed to feeling good is too quick, and therefore, i get really racy, and talkative, and i judge everything i say as being a jerk comment, and that everyone hates when i talk when i am feeling like this.
So, basically, when the above situation happens, i make myself feel really good, but my thinking is still irrational, if you can understand that? I know its not true that everyone hates everything i say when i am feeling like this, and people are probably not judging me negatively and hating me. I know my irrational thoughts are what gets me crashing down. But, when i get into these "high" moods too quickly, i find this tends to happen. And, i ALWAYS come crashing down soon after from the pile up of negative thoughts.
I hope this doesn't sound too weird and out of place to you readers, but if anyone has any insight or suggestions, i'd appreciate it. I think it is a unique problem, but i figured i'd share in case anyone else has this, and because i am looking to get some feedback on this.
When i am feeling down (anxious, and then depressed), i have such a hard time being rational, because i believe my negative thoughts. I guess that is pretty normal for SA, but, here's my other problem.
Sometimes, when i am feeling down, but i REALLY want to feel normal again, like when i need to see someone, or walk into a crowded place with lots of people, i will tell myself something positive, that seems to resonate with me. This thought i tell myself, actually works sometimes, meaning it completely diminishes my anxiety, makes me get really happy, and almost to the point of mania. I know it is not mania, but its almost like i get so excited, and happy that i made myself feel good all of a sudden, that i get scared. I tell myself i don't deserve to feel this way, and i have a fear of going back down again. Its almost like the quick transition from feeling depressed to feeling good is too quick, and therefore, i get really racy, and talkative, and i judge everything i say as being a jerk comment, and that everyone hates when i talk when i am feeling like this.
So, basically, when the above situation happens, i make myself feel really good, but my thinking is still irrational, if you can understand that? I know its not true that everyone hates everything i say when i am feeling like this, and people are probably not judging me negatively and hating me. I know my irrational thoughts are what gets me crashing down. But, when i get into these "high" moods too quickly, i find this tends to happen. And, i ALWAYS come crashing down soon after from the pile up of negative thoughts.
I hope this doesn't sound too weird and out of place to you readers, but if anyone has any insight or suggestions, i'd appreciate it. I think it is a unique problem, but i figured i'd share in case anyone else has this, and because i am looking to get some feedback on this.