Confidence Roller-coaster.

Hello All, So a long story short, I go through short periods where I've got all the confidence in the world, but more commonly I have little to no confidence, resulting in me feeling Shy and even to some extent Agoraphobic. Right now I'm struggling a lot to make new friends, meet women and even to a certain degree just talk to my close friends. I try to drive myself into situations sometimes where I have to fall out of that comfort zone and interact with people but I end up becoming one of those really awkward people who just doesn't hold a conversation for long.
At the other end of the spectrum, almost always when I'm working, I can have all the confidence in the world, interacting with people, expressing authority and have even been able to give talks to very large groups of people with only the usual minuscule bit of stage fright.
I was just wondering if anyone else rides this emotional roller coaster and if anyone has managed to deal with it or is dealing with it currently...?


Well-known member
All the time, with varying lengths. Your experience closely resembles mine except I do not really like talking to large groups of people or those who have positions of authority. Those situations make me quite nervous.

I'm currently on the low part of the roller coaster. No confidence, very agoraphobic. I've been reaching out to friends. I have yet to go out and try something. (I'm in Houston, so I can't really leave anyway.)

My greatest fear comes when writing and working. Writing is kinda what I do/want to do. There are times when I just get so frightened that I can't do it.
I never said I liked talking to large groups of people :p I'm just able to muster the courage to do it when i'm in a position of Authority or when I'm responsible for something like health and safety Etc. I'm still deathly nervous though!
I Hope you are safe and well over there and the weather Recedes quickly. Then maybe you can get out about a bit? Sorry to hear Writing daunts you sometimes. I guess it can be very hard sometimes to think of the right way to express something or to tell a story and then the idea of people critiquing it too. But if it's your passion, Stick with it and try and stay strong Nicole :)


Well-known member
Yea, that's exactly the point. Thanks for the encouragement.

I do hope you find a way to deal with your problem. I've been working with my therapist and DBT. It's pretty helpful. I like the way it pushes you to be present in the moment, which is something I often struggled with.

In terms of anxiety, exposure does work. I just start out small to get myself back where I need to be.
No Problem :) I'm not undergoing any help at the moment, I strive to self help wherever possible. If i need help though, I'm not afraid to ask for it. I do hope it continues to work for you though :)