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Comedian Steven Wright

Started by cowboyup · Jul 14, 2012 · 6 replies

#1 Report
My brother kindly got last minute tickets to see Steven Wright tonight!
I love anything (anyone) that (who) can make me laugh.
My brother kinda clued in to the past couple weeks or so that I've been down -- feeling a little down in the dumps.

I am excited but nervous to be around all the people....I have to keep thinking how much fun I'll have though, right?

plus it'll be dark lol!

some Steven Wright quotes:
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

something.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
#2 Report
Good jokes, you should have a ball. 😀
#3 Report
I think I have heard of Steven Wright - doesnt he tell jokes with a deadpan delivery?
Either way - the puns are quite amusing.

Sounds like you need some cheering up judging from your posts - hope you have fun.
#5 Report
cowboyup said: ↑
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
^ Hehe, I like this one. 😀

I've heard of Steven Wright before, and I think I've seen him on Comedy Central once? But other than that, I don't really remember his humor or jokes too much. He seems like a pretty funny comedian.

Hope you have fun tonight!
#6 Report
thanks 🙂
I'm looking forward to it
Curious to see if he's 'updated' his materials! LOL I'm sure he has...
#7 Report
I hope you have fun!! Those quotes are amazingly hilarious. I love him.

And being in the dark absolutely makes things like that easier 😛 Hope it all goes well.

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