Cognitive behavioral therapy? Experiences? Talking about SAD ironic?

[your.desired.username]

I am new to this website and I have been wondering for some time now how and if cognitive behavioral therapy will work for me. I know a little about psychology and how this type of therapy is supposed to work, but, well I find it rather difficult to believe that it will. I have had a general therapist before, about a year ago, and I quit seeing her because I didn't feel like it was helping and it really stressed me out. Which I thought was quite ironic. I mean really, it was supposed to help me, but it would stress me out instead. I would wait outside in the car dreading it every week.


Also, I don't really want to change the way I think about things. I think that requires changing myself and becoming optimistic instead of realistic. Yes, I think I am pretty realistic. I'm not terribly bad looking, terrible in social situations, or disliked by a ton of people. Well okay. So I am not confident at all about the last part. Well I am, but also I am not. And I think things are pretty bad now but could quite well maybe get better in the future. Hence the suicide is a bad option stance. Huh. It sounds from re-reading that partial paragraph that I should not be bothered by SAD at all.


Here's an example of how I am (I had more typed out before but I realized that it was extremely long):

To avoid a conversation: "Sorry, I can't talk to you right now because I'm reading a book. And trust me, I really need to read this book." (inner dialogue: uh-oh, this person might think I won't want to talk to him/her) "It's for homework." (quick! why can't I do this at home) "And I'm so swamped right now, we've got that calc quiz and everything. I'm a little afraid of that." (I can't believe people are actually worried about that) "So I'll talk to you tomorrow then" (Ahhhh that sounded so awkward, what else could you say to make up for it? How many times can I say something awkward and still have this person be my friend? Oh no, you've waited too long. You'll have to make up for that conversation tomorrow. Oh no, that's even more stressful. Look at the book! She'll think you were lying if you don't start reading. My back hurts, I want to lay down. I can't! She might see you! Why is that bad? You'll look weird lying down. Sit up straight then, that'll help the pain. But then anyone who sees you might think you're pompous. Ahh the word pompous sounds pompous, good thing you didn't actually say that out loud. *looks around.* Woah, no one's even looking at me. How can they do that, don't they realize I might be looking at them? Don't they care?)

 

[kihira]

CBT is very much about having realistic thinking, not necessarily optimistic. You seem to overthink situations, so maybe mindfulness would be useful?

 

[scoobycrawler]

not fun at all...
seriously most painful experience of my life...

 

[your.desired.username]

CBT is very much about having realistic thinking, not necessarily optimistic. You seem to overthink situations, so maybe mindfulness would be useful?

I agree, I think I overthink things. But mindfulness seems to me to be part of the problem. I'm already constantly aware of it and that seems to make it worse.

 

[Leticia]

To avoid a conversation: "Sorry, I can't talk to you right now because I'm reading a book. And trust me, I really need to read this book." (inner dialogue: uh-oh, this person might think I won't want to talk to him/her) "It's for homework." (quick! why can't I do this at home) "And I'm so swamped right now, we've got that calc quiz and everything. I'm a little afraid of that." (I can't believe people are actually worried about that) "So I'll talk to you tomorrow then" (Ahhhh that sounded so awkward, what else could you say to make up for it? How many times can I say something awkward and still have this person be my friend? Oh no, you've waited too long. You'll have to make up for that conversation tomorrow. Oh no, that's even more stressful. Look at the book! She'll think you were lying if you don't start reading. My back hurts, I want to lay down. I can't! She might see you! Why is that bad? You'll look weird lying down. Sit up straight then, that'll help the pain. But then anyone who sees you might think you're pompous. Ahh the word pompous sounds pompous, good thing you didn't actually say that out loud. *looks around.* Woah, no one's even looking at me. How can they do that, don't they realize I might be looking at them? Don't they care?)

That's 200% like myself.

 

[Minty]

I've never tried CBT, so I dunno. But anxiety for me doesn't really express itself in my thought patterns. It just comes out as this really heavy feeling that leads to panic. I just have this instinct to avoid the source, no matter what.

I have tried to think positively to see if the feeling would go away, but it just builds faster. A part of me knows I'm thinking positively because I'm in a bad situation. I don't know how to explain it. I doubt my brain works like most people's.

 

[Darryl]

I agree, I think I overthink things. But mindfulness seems to me to be part of the problem. I'm already constantly aware of it and that seems to make it worse.

Being constantly aware of over thinking is a big +

Knowing that the disruptive negative thoughts are part of problem is very much part of the solution.

Everything takes practice, and you will make mistakes along the way trying to finetune what works for you, but something to start with and modify to suit you.

Letting a disruptive thought and over thinking it will undo you every time.
As soon as these thoughts and can be many at one time enter your head- Change your focus to what you doing.

When I work out, this is when I start to over think- I can stop it by concentrating on what I'm doing.
I'll tell my self "20 squats to go, 19 etc, focus on what your doing.

I'm sure you'll tailor make something to suits you.

Darryl

 

[Sprunk]

I found it helped me somewhat though it can be tedious at times.Worth a try though.

 

[Waybuloo]

I agree, I think I overthink things. But mindfulness seems to me to be part of the problem. I'm already constantly aware of it and that seems to make it worse.

I think mindfulness also involves taking note and being aware of everything around you, the living things, the atmosphere, the environment, activities, peoples' moods and behaviours. Maybe you will realise that you are part of a bigger picture and shift the focus upwards so you don't feel suffocated.

You take note of feeling anxious/angry/upset and certain sensations in your body, and the key is to notice these things objectively and ultimately calmly (if there ever is an oxymoron). They aren't necessarily bad and you shouldn't necessarily associate bad things with them. The key is to just be. I think what it's trying to achieve is less attention paid to the emotional aspects of what's going on.

I felt angry once and just said to myself in my head that 'I am feeling anger, I feel the anger surging through my body..i'm ok with it.' And then I didn't feel it anymore. Maybe it jolts your senses to target the offending emotion, rather than letting the emotion overtake, if that makes sense.

 

[peanutbutter]

I practice mindfulness meditation,and it helps me understand myself and be aware of the surroundings around me. By doing this, I am able to gain a sense of calmness and being grounded. I think CBT has incorporated mindfulness and meditation and I have read different studies that has proven it effective. Whenever I sense myself to be irritated or irrational (as anyone can be at some point) I simply bring myself to meditate and be mindful, therefore freeing myself from emotional influences and possible judgment.