Hi, I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this. Throughout highschool, I had a very small group of friends that I hung out with and I pretty much didn't even talk to anyone else. It was very strange because around my friends, I felt like I could just be myself, but out in public, I would just completely retreat back into myself because I couldn't allow myself to feel like I cared what anyone else thought about me. Even stranger, I've seemed to accomplish the exact same thing in college, a few close friends and I shut everyone else out. I find it weird that I do this and was just wondering if anyone else had the same experience.
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- Thread starter Jonesey
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lil_ladii85
Active member
im actually the exact same way, i have a small group of friends that i can be my real self around, but as soon as i get out in public or around ppl i dont know im completly different, i'm quite and wont say more than a few words, but u gotta be careful with how it comes out, because most of the time people think im stuck up or a b****.
Luna
Member
I'd be happy even to have a small group of friends...I don't even have that.
Have lived in this new city for over six months and not once have I had a new friend come over to my apt or really had an invitation to go out. It's lonely as hell, but I'm not the person to call people and see what's going on. I feel more comfortable retreating into my shell and staying inside on weekends.
If you have a good group of friends (or even one good friend), I consider that a blessing, but I know where you are coming from when wanting more friends and acquaintances
Have lived in this new city for over six months and not once have I had a new friend come over to my apt or really had an invitation to go out. It's lonely as hell, but I'm not the person to call people and see what's going on. I feel more comfortable retreating into my shell and staying inside on weekends.
If you have a good group of friends (or even one good friend), I consider that a blessing, but I know where you are coming from when wanting more friends and acquaintances
hartbrokenvirgo
Well-known member
same here.once i have a group of friends thats it form e. i dont talk to anyone else or try to make any new friends. meanwhile all of my friends have so many other people that they know and talk to.
Ky
Member
Yes...that's exactly my problem. I have a nice sized group of friends who I've been with since elementary school, or the beginning of high school. But, now I have a problem because some of them are starting to be not so nice anymore...some are doing things they shouldn't be doing which I don't like so much. They're going to parties, with their other friends (THAT sucks!) and know I'd never go. It really does suck. One of my best friends has been introducing me to some of her other friends, which is nice of her 
_Brittany_
Well-known member
yupp! i'm the same exact way..
tired88
New member
I was like that too. Except I went from having a small group of friends with which I was comfortable, to one friend at the end of high school, to no friends at university.
I find it extremely hard to communicate with people unless I can be assured they will react positively to what I have to say. This limits my 'comfort zone' to people I know very well.
I find it extremely hard to communicate with people unless I can be assured they will react positively to what I have to say. This limits my 'comfort zone' to people I know very well.
silentangel
Member
yeah me too. i prefer coupla good solid friends who really understands me than alota acquintances that i most probably wont even speak 5 words with. i have the habit to observe people very carefully before i scrape together the courage and start to engage in a conversation with them.
ReVeR
Member
same problem here, i go to a small highschool which i have been goin to for about 6 months i have a small group of friends and have trouble making new frineds
when im intoruduced to new people (something my friends have to do because i cant do it my self) im never really able to socialaize with them afterwards and people think ima bitch because when they do talk to me i alwasy reply with the most simple of answers yes, no, or i juss nod my head
i have not yet made any new friends at that school when i think about how long I've been going there i die a little inside
it gets worse some times i just rather ditch school and go to the library where i know people don't talk as much
when i am in class i have to be sitting on the back row and it has to be on one end of the side, which leaves only two available seats for me
we don't have seating charts and are free to sit where we please
so when i walk into class and see that those seat are taken,
I'm like damn...
my only choice now is to walk out the class room and leave the school i
usually whisper to the teacher and tell him or her
" peace... I'm Going to hell " (hell meaning home)
and people are like wtf , this weirdo...
when im intoruduced to new people (something my friends have to do because i cant do it my self) im never really able to socialaize with them afterwards and people think ima bitch because when they do talk to me i alwasy reply with the most simple of answers yes, no, or i juss nod my head
i have not yet made any new friends at that school when i think about how long I've been going there i die a little inside
it gets worse some times i just rather ditch school and go to the library where i know people don't talk as much
when i am in class i have to be sitting on the back row and it has to be on one end of the side, which leaves only two available seats for me
we don't have seating charts and are free to sit where we please
so when i walk into class and see that those seat are taken,
I'm like damn...
my only choice now is to walk out the class room and leave the school i
usually whisper to the teacher and tell him or her
" peace... I'm Going to hell " (hell meaning home)
and people are like wtf , this weirdo...
still-shy
Member
Me too I rolled with a group, it felt like we were a gang lol. I felt safe around them cause that way I blended into the group when we went out.
People didn't say, look at HIM. They said, look at THEM. I liked being a THEM and not a HIM.
But now, I lost that group, and I'm on my own, and it's not the same. I need a group to belong to or I'm nothing. So that's what I am now, NOTHING.
BTW, Is this what AvPD is?? I'm a bit naive to what this really is. So maybe I could have this too? Good to know, thanks for posting. I relate a lot.
People didn't say, look at HIM. They said, look at THEM. I liked being a THEM and not a HIM.
But now, I lost that group, and I'm on my own, and it's not the same. I need a group to belong to or I'm nothing. So that's what I am now, NOTHING.
BTW, Is this what AvPD is?? I'm a bit naive to what this really is. So maybe I could have this too? Good to know, thanks for posting. I relate a lot.
Skog
Well-known member
Jonesey said:
Although that person changed when I moved or changed schools, my experience was that in different stages I usually had one close friend. To the extent I socialized with others, they were people I was with because of my one close friend -- they were my friend's friends.
Somehow that seemed to work better when I was a student. As an adult, I have never had such a close friend and I feel that the people who I believe would identify me as a friend are really just acquaintances. They know me from work or some place else, but they don't hang around with me, or do anything with me. I have tried to cultivate some friendships, but I guess I am used to having a best friend, and the adults in my life are more accustomed to having a loose group of friends. To me they seem to flit from person to person, but they seem happier than I am.
polystyrene
Member
exactly the same but since they know i dont have any other friend they kinda use me..or something..
freestylemonster
Banned
Yeah I had that exact problem! Except it was even worse because I couldn't even be myself around my best friends -_-
I have 1 friend who also has SA, so I'm a bit more comfortable when I'm hanging out with him, but otherwise yeah I never said anything to anyone else in highschool and barely said anything to my friends
I have 1 friend who also has SA, so I'm a bit more comfortable when I'm hanging out with him, but otherwise yeah I never said anything to anyone else in highschool and barely said anything to my friends
:: This is sad. -hugs-
I pushed my friends away, I try but I just can't have fun and be my old happy, bubbly self around them, I feel too insecure. I got friends, I talk to lots of people, but I am so controlled and I put up walls - they say we are best friends, but they don't even know who I am, I can't be myself around them! I am so afraid of rejection, I think about it all the time when I am with everyone, I just can't let go with anyone. Argh lol. ::
: This is sad. -hugs-I pushed my friends away, I try but I just can't have fun and be my old happy, bubbly self around them, I feel too insecure. I got friends, I talk to lots of people, but I am so controlled and I put up walls - they say we are best friends, but they don't even know who I am, I can't be myself around them! I am so afraid of rejection, I think about it all the time when I am with everyone, I just can't let go with anyone. Argh lol
. ::