Change Your Self Worth

sorry i don't mean to call you out or anything, but I'm not sure if I can entirely agree with this statement.

A pedophile can think he is normal, but if society doesn't, society will lock the pedophile up if he has sexual relations with a child. Society rejects his actions even though he acted on what he personally believed. Even if his self-worth wasn't damaged, society does not have a favorable view on him and now he is marked (can't get certain jobs, has to notify everyone that he is a sex offender, etc.) unless society changes their opinion about pedophiles.

Okay, if you were the only one who though pre-marital sex were fantastic, what then? If you were the only one who thought going out at night was appropriate, what then? if you were the only one who liked music videos, what then?

See, it's not what others think that counts, its what YOU think.
 
I am simply saying that self worth is not the only factor that holds back people with SA and that having low self-worth is not something always caused by first forming low opinions of ourselves.

Actually, it is the ONLY factor which holds people with SA back. SA is a phobia just like any other phobia. People with a fear of snakes have a problem with being AFRAID OF SNAKES, not with the presence of poisonous vipers in the aquairium exhibit. People with fear of speaking have an issue with the anxiety of potentially performing badly, not with their lack of speaking skills. You can deal with your "personal flaws" when you are better, the issue isn't whether or not people like you, it's whether or not you are scared shitless by their rejecting you. That is what's crippling.


I don't believe people with SA are oppressed, but I do believe there is a degree of discrimination against those (not just people with SA) that do not meet the criteria for societies definition of "normal".


Let's suppose you DON'T MEET THE CRITERIA for others to like you. Well, they dont like you allready, so what's the difference? You can allways change yourself later as long as you are growing in earnest, and not faking. If being a dork and dressing like shit no longer appeal to you, then DON'T do it. The issue is not that you are "uncool", because losers have friends. The problem is that you are anxious about being "uncool". Anxious people often don't have friends, because others can't stand to be around us.


If I try to compromise with a potential employer, even tell him right out that I have social anxiety, I am working very hard to build my character and strengthen my weaknesses and say, "At this time, I can handle X amount of social interactions before I need to call it a day" and the next guy he interviews has no such social problems will be seen as more productive (assuming all other job skills are equal). Now, this may not necessarily damage my own self-worth, but it lowers my idea of how I feel I am being viewed by society.


See my up-coming post on secrets and personal information. You don't have to share everything in your life in order to be "true" to yourself.


We do need self-worth to be able to handle society, and society also contributes to how we evaluate ourselves, and our own self-worth.


This is true but it's the relative weight of each component that matters. Social Phobes depend on others for their self-worth, normal people don't.
 
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