I am simply saying that self worth is not the only factor that holds back people with SA and that having low self-worth is not something always caused by first forming low opinions of ourselves.
Actually, it is the ONLY factor which holds people with SA back. SA is a phobia just like any other phobia. People with a fear of snakes have a problem with being AFRAID OF SNAKES, not with the presence of poisonous vipers in the aquairium exhibit. People with fear of speaking have an issue with the anxiety of potentially performing badly, not with their lack of speaking skills. You can deal with your "personal flaws" when you are better, the issue isn't whether or not people like you, it's whether or not you are scared shitless by their rejecting you. That is what's crippling.
I don't believe people with SA are oppressed, but I do believe there is a degree of discrimination against those (not just people with SA) that do not meet the criteria for societies definition of "normal".
Let's suppose you DON'T MEET THE CRITERIA for others to like you. Well, they dont like you allready, so what's the difference? You can allways change yourself later as long as you are growing in earnest, and not faking. If being a dork and dressing like shit no longer appeal to you, then DON'T do it. The issue is not that you are "uncool", because losers have friends. The problem is that you are anxious about being "uncool". Anxious people often don't have friends, because others can't stand to be around us.
If I try to compromise with a potential employer, even tell him right out that I have social anxiety, I am working very hard to build my character and strengthen my weaknesses and say, "At this time, I can handle X amount of social interactions before I need to call it a day" and the next guy he interviews has no such social problems will be seen as more productive (assuming all other job skills are equal). Now, this may not necessarily damage my own self-worth, but it lowers my idea of how I feel I am being viewed by society.
See my up-coming post on secrets and personal information. You don't have to share everything in your life in order to be "true" to yourself.
We do need self-worth to be able to handle society, and society also contributes to how we evaluate ourselves, and our own self-worth.
This is true but it's the relative weight of each component that matters. Social Phobes depend on others for their self-worth, normal people don't.
