cant take it

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mfs

Well-known member
well if you've read my previous posts you already know that ive been struggling with thoughts of being a pedophile but im attracted to girls/boys my age and older but like i said i can also find myself attracted to young teens 12-15... many say this is normal some don't... but as i was starting to feel better and "accept" that thats a possibility i started to get scared again... this always happens.... i saw a picture in my house of a girl i know when she was much younger she was about 9 in the pic... a girl my age now and when i was younger i found her attractive and now she definitely is... point is its a picture i payed no mind too until recently when i started notcing it... i dont know why... i realized i ffound her to be attractive in it but i didnt really feel any sexual urges... but it kept bugging me looking at the pic because 50 percent of me felt attracted and 50 percent thought she's too young... i had the thought of masturbating to the picture but i couldnt because i would feel wrong.... im almost always attracted to ppl reasonably close to my age.... and technically this girl is my age but finding a picture of her when she was younger attractive really makes me bothered... i dont want to be a perv and i can accept that i might be attracted to young teens but she was younger than that in this pic... THOUGHTS? HELP
 
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Fitchy

Active member
I agree with the other response. I have read some of your posts and can tell this is living hell for you. Also I can say I have been in a very similar situation and talking helps. Your dealing with automatic reactions and the thought you had of masturbating was a thought because that's what intrusive thoughts do. I'm sure you do find this girl attractive now and she was probably a pretty girl.. But your confusing the fact that she was a pretty girl when she wAs young with how you find her sexually attractive now. People are allowed to be beautiful it's okay to notice that. It's not like the fact that she was young in a picture turned you on, it's that now she is a beautiful girl who you are sexually attracted to. This is the obsessive part of OCD and you rationing everything in your brain, spinning and twisting your thoughts trying to make sense of them, I hope you start feeling better. Your not abnormal! Keep your chin up.
 
fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
I see some teenagers sometimes that I consider sexually attractive, but the fact that if I act on them I will go to jail and be put in the public eye keeps me from doing anything stupid.
 
Mickery

Mickery

Well-known member
Whether it's morally right or normal is besides the point, they're intrusive thoughts and are causing problems with your life. Which is the point at which you should be finding some professional help to address it.
 
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mfs

Well-known member
im currently in cbt... and i was starting to get better because i was accepting the thoughts and not fighting them but now i felt a level of attraction to a girl at around 9... while the thoughts may be intruisive at times i do believe that i found her somewhat attractive in the picture
 
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Fitchy

Active member
Ut that's only because you see her as sexually attractive now! And some girls look mature for their age. It's no like her age is what you were attracted to. See the difference? Cbt is great I'm in it too.. Do tell your counselor this they will help. You just need some positive reinforcement.
 
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Fitchy

Active member
Correct pretty yes! But sexually probably not. But with your OCD and intrusive thoughts it's goiNg to be hard for you to seperate two because you are in a state of panic. You are only noticing this because you find her sexually attractive now. Ask yourself why she is pretty in the picture? Is it because she is under age or is it because you find her pretty now? I can't answer for you but it just sounds like you are overthinking this all. When do you see your counselor next?
 
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mfs

Well-known member
well i definitely found her pretty but in terms of sexually idk now im pretty confused...
 
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Fitchy

Active member
Sxually would be etti g aroused from the photo and wanting to do things sexually with her while she was younger. Thinking she is a pretty girl is not sexual it's just human nature to notice if someone is attractive or not.
 
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mfs

Well-known member
its a great article believe it or not i came across it about a year ago when i had these fears... it was very helpful it describes what i'm feeling almost perfectly... the only thing is i still worry about which one i have... the article doesnt get rid of that unfortunately
 
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noelliesmommy

Member
I saw this picture of a 10 year old model the other day and thought that she was equisite! The most beautiful child I had ever seen. So beautiful that I am sure many men would find her slightly sexually attractive. Do you think that I am a pediphile because of this? That is a thought that never crossed my mind. Ocd will take your worst fear "pediphile, sexual pradator" and spin it around in your head until you believe it. For instance my worst fear was always that I would be a horrible mother. My ocd has grabbed a hold of that fear and turned it into obsessive thoughts. All day I think to myself "am I horrible mother? I must be or it wouldn't always be on my mind." Now I feel convinced that I am a horrible parent and my little girl would be better off without me. Part of me does realize that it is part of the ocd but I really struggle with it.
 
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Fitchy

Active member
Hmm but did you read more links he shows in there? And he says he willtalk to people maybe you could talk to him.
 
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Fitchy

Active member
Talking and researching is the only thing that's helped me with my obsessions. I feel almost fortunate because that works for me for some of them sometimes and I wish that could help you too. I'm truly sympathize anyone with OCD idk what's worse.
 
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da_illest101

Well-known member
Many won't agree with me, but I'll never be able to say that what you are attracted to is not normal. Nobody can control what they are attracted to. I been attracted to older woman since I was a kid and I bet some people will find that normal because they are over 18. Just because there are laws about it, doesn't make it less normal, you are simply not in the majority. I'll never agree that you should act out on a child in real life or online, simply keep it in your head and try to move on to other things ( i know easier said than done)
 
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mfs

Well-known member
fitchy yes i have spoken to robert several times, and he thinks that i have pocd he seems confident, i will re visit the website though again, noelliesmommy i think you raise a valid point and i thank you for the reply i think i can accept that its nomal to be slightly attracted or find young people attractive... what makes it bad is that i always have this thought that in the future i wont be able to "control" myself or that i will be a bad person.... i really dont get sexual thoughts about people younger than 13 but i'd imagine that if i did i would enjoy them like i do about ppl my age... "da illest" thanks i agree
 
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