Can't Even Call My Boyfriend?

[amphelice]

I haven't seen or really heard from my boyfriend in just about two week and I miss him so much it hurts. I've messaged him a couple times on Facebook but he seems to hate the site and never checks it, so he hasn't seen any of my messages. I want to hear from him so bad but the only way to contact him is call him. I'm fine with calling home or my mum but the second i go to call someone else, i have an anxiety attack. I was gonna call him today but instead i sat there for two hours holding the phone staring at his number. I don't really understand why i get so anxious, it seems unnecessary. I guess part of it is that i worry about silly little things like what if I'm bothering him, what if he doesn't want to talk to me, what if he isn't home, what if hes busy, what if one of his family members picks up the phone... etc etc. things like such. i don't even know where to start when it comes to getting over this.. any advice that may help me is completely welcome..
SA makes me feel like I am in a prison cell...a big fat ugly prison cell inside my brain... that scares me alot

 

[XxXWhiteRoseXxX]

I know that feeling way too well. With my previous boyfriend, I used to sit by the phone & wonder if I should call. Having a relationship with him was like a constant battle with myself.
What helped me was thinking about talking to him. Imagine how great it would be to hear his voice.
Hope this helped, even a little.
Good luck!

 

[lilmutegirl]

I've only talked on the phone with my boyfriend of almost 2 years a handful of times--we usually text. Fortunately, I see him in person 4-5 times a week, so we get to talk then too.
I have always hated talking on the phone. Even with people I know it's difficult. I like that so many people have cell phones now, because, like you, I was always worried that I'd have to talk to somebody other than the person whom I intended to talk to. Lately, I've found myself hoping that people don't answer so I can leave a message.
I'm not sure what the best course of action for your situation is. I imagine that the more you talk on the phone with him, the more comfortable you will be doing so, but initially, it will be awkward.

 

[dragonoth]

How come you haven't seen or heard from him in two weeks? Is he away somewhere?

 

[amphelice]

How come you haven't seen or heard from him in two weeks? Is he away somewhere?

No, we just live half an hour away from each other and neither of us can drive.he also works a lot do he is always busy. I also think he is a bit forgetful when it comes to calling me because he has so little time.

 

[Canis lupus]

This might sound weird but you have to be more selfish about it. I used to do the same thing. I just sat there with my phone in my hands wondering what if this is a bad time? What if he/she doesn't want to talk to me? and so on. But after been told about a dozen times that if someone wants to call me that they don't think about that and just pick up the phone and do it I started to do it myself. The first so many times I really had to force myself and tell me to not think about them but think about what I want which in this case was calling him/her. But after a while it does get better. I still have to force myself sometimes but sometimes I just don't think about it, pick up the phone and make the call. So if you want to call him, just do it. It will be scary and you might catch him at a bad time but that's ok. He will just tell you it is and you can ask when you could call back or ask him to call you back but just pick up the phone and call him. He'll probably be happy to hear from you. I know it's easier said than done but you have to confront your fears. It has worked for me so you can do it to. If it helps think about the future. It might be very scary at the moment but if you push through a couple times you might get rid of that fear in a couple months.

 

[reslo]

good advice, canis lupus!

If hes your boyfriend, it shouldnt be a bother when you call.

He should want to talk to you often- more than once a week.

Don't settle for people who act like its a chore to talk you!

I think that some of the hesitancy may come from there may be trouble in the relationship, and if you call, you'll have to face it.

It's agony waiting and wondering, call!

(for me i often can't do things the first time i try- like phone calls, go out somewhere, but if i try again the next day or the day after that, and just push myself, i can get it done)

 

[OceanMist]

I know how you feel. Phone calls can be hell the first time I call a woman that I haven't met yet. I get severely anxious every time. When I do finally push the call button it's like this long silence and just hear this riiiiing.....haha. It's like a judgment death or something.

It's gotten a little easier for me after experience.