Can it be true?

koyaanisqatsi

Well-known member
Can't believe there are people here at 5:00 AM, but it's no doubt a more reasonable time elsewhere. Can't sleep. SPia kept me awake most of night due to some things I must attend to today involving major life decisions I don't want to make and which could turn out disasterously.

I find this forum to be somewhat bulky, as in difficult to use and follow. This may be seen as a criticism, but it's not intended as such. I'm still getting used to it.
 

Danfalc

Banned
Hey koyaanisqatsi

Its sounds like you have some serious stuff to deal with 2day, well i hope it goes well for you, i take it your pretty new to this site, if you are well welcome to the site :)

If your having problems with getting use to the site,well we have recently had people become moderators which will hopefully keep things a bit more organised.

and yeah its a 10:20 here in the uk so its a bit more of a reasnable time,but i have the same problem as you in that if i have somthing stressfull on i wont sleep the night b4 so i am on here at silly o clock in the morning aswell sometimes :wink:
 

koyaanisqatsi

Well-known member
Correct

I'm here laregly because USENET is apparently dying. alt.support.social-phobia has very few posts. Sad.

As for today, I'm looking at two houses for possible purchase. I've seen several in my hometwin where I want to live. So far none really appeals to me, but _nothing_ really appeals to me right now. This decision is important, since I intend to live out the remaninder of my life in this home-to-be. I'm dealing with rehabilitation from two stents (heart disease), left eye problems from a torn and detached retina making it very hard to read for any length of time, and SPia ( of course ) and depression. Given the first two problems, I plan on applying for disability...doubt I can do manual labor anymore and can't read for long so I can't continue my computer programming career. What's left? Disability is _not_ an appealing prospect for me, but given my physical problems, maybe I need it. It's always possible, disability for a while will help me find my way back to some meaningful employment. I'm just complaining.
 

Danfalc

Banned
Dont worry about complaining, i make a drama out of much lesser things than that :lol:

I am genuianley sorry to hear about your health issues, i hope things turn around for you and i also hope you manage to find the house your looking for so good luck with all of that.

I know the benefits system probaly works different here in the uk than it does in u.s.a. I was on benefits as my source of income, but recently i was declared fit enough to return to work so my main benefits have stopped, however i still recieve disability living allowance due to my sa,which means i have enough money to survive and also because im registered on d.l.a the job centre has to take into account my problems when trying to find work.

Hopefully u.s.a has a simlar sort of thing,its worth looking into anyways and good luck again!
 

koyaanisqatsi

Well-known member
Re: Can it be True?

Well, I'm not sure what disability system the U.S. has. I have the physical disabilities and suffer from SPia and Depression. Whether any of these of all qualify me for disability is open to question. The SPia and depression makes it all that much more difficult to deal with physical problems. SPia or SA makes it hard to deal with normal issues in life, not to mention any physical problems. I don't like the idea of disability, but I may have no cjoice. If I can't get disability, then...

My guess is that both my body and by brain are about ready to give it all up and just let go. I can probably work at some job ( not sure what ), but I can't find a job. I do look and apply if I feel I can do the job. I never get a response to my application. Other than that, my living situation is worse than any situation I have _ever_ lived in before. So, I've been looking for a different home, but I just can't find one. I have the misfortune of living in a very economically depressed area.

I'm glad you are doing better. Hope things work out well for you. It takes time. You seem to be on the way up, and I've nearly hit absolute bottom. One more step and I'm over the edge.


Danfalc said:
Dont worry about complaining, i make a drama out of much lesser things than that :lol:

I am genuianley sorry to hear about your health issues, i hope things turn around for you and i also hope you manage to find the house your looking for so good luck with all of that.

I know the benefits system probaly works different here in the uk than it does in u.s.a. I was on benefits as my source of income, but recently i was declared fit enough to return to work so my main benefits have stopped, however i still recieve disability living allowance due to my sa,which means i have enough money to survive and also because im registered on d.l.a the job centre has to take into account my problems when trying to find work.

Hopefully u.s.a has a simlar sort of thing,its worth looking into anyways and good luck again!
 

Danfalc

Banned
Re: Can it be True?

koyaanisqatsi said:
I've nearly hit absolute bottom. One more step and I'm over the edge.

*pulls you back from near the edge* Hey im having none of that :wink:

Look I probaly dont have any right to give you advice, I find it so hard to deal with social anxiety and i dont have half the stuff you do to deal with.I want to say i know what your going through, but i dont i mean it affects people differently and we cope with it differently.

But i know how it feels to hit rock bottom, but if your about as low as you can go, well the way i see it, things can only get better, and i dont mean that in a sit on your arse and one day you will wake up and the sun will be shining and the birds will be singing, i mean that if everything is worng in your life im sure this is somthing you can start to work on and improve.

As for your living situation, im sorry to hear that, that really cant be helping matters and all i can do is hope that the situation improves for you.You said you dont like the ideas of recieving disability benefits?Well maybe if you do get on benefits, maybe that will give you the oppurtunity to improve other aspects of your life as you will have more time to spend and maybe wont be as stressed out from working.

Let me know if you manage to find a home work, or just how your coping in general hope things work out for you

Best wishes

Danny
 

koyaanisqatsi

Well-known member
Re: Can it be True?

I have bad days, I have mediocre days, sometimes I have no days.

I'm deperately trying to find meaningful work. I can't buy a job...I probably already said that. The one place that seems to have a atrong interest in me is "a heavy industrial environment". I'm 54 yo, just had two stents put in--I doubt I can do the job. My cardiologist is likely to give the OK to work there, but I want to talk to him to see if he has any reservations about it. I certainly do.

I've looked at several houses. Most are in terrible shape. Old and poorly maintained...like me ;-)!

I endeavor to persevere. But, SPia and depression are high hurdles to clear for me. They don't get better. Unless I can somehow just give up the fight and accept things, yet keep trying to improve them on a less intense level.

Yes. I would use any time on disability to try to retrain myself for a more suitable job. I want to work.


Danfalc said:
koyaanisqatsi said:
I've nearly hit absolute bottom. One more step and I'm over the edge.

*pulls you back from near the edge* Hey im having none of that :wink:

Look I probaly dont have any right to give you advice, I find it so hard to deal with social anxiety and i dont have half the stuff you do to deal with.I want to say i know what your going through, but i dont i mean it affects people differently and we cope with it differently.

But i know how it feels to hit rock bottom, but if your about as low as you can go, well the way i see it, things can only get better, and i dont mean that in a sit on your arse and one day you will wake up and the sun will be shining and the birds will be singing, i mean that if everything is worng in your life im sure this is somthing you can start to work on and improve.

As for your living situation, im sorry to hear that, that really cant be helping matters and all i can do is hope that the situation improves for you.You said you dont like the ideas of recieving disability benefits?Well maybe if you do get on benefits, maybe that will give you the oppurtunity to improve other aspects of your life as you will have more time to spend and maybe wont be as stressed out from working.

Let me know if you manage to find a home work, or just how your coping in general hope things work out for you

Best wishes

Danny
 

Danfalc

Banned
Re: Can it be True?

koyaanisqatsi said:
I've looked at several houses. Most are in terrible shape. Old and poorly maintained...like me ;-)!

He he :lol: , you made me laugh for the first time today i appreciate it.

Okay look sorry i think i have an obsessive compulsive order for giveing people advice.... grrr...... *tries to resist the urge to give advice*

*fails*
Maybe you could do one of the houses up? I mean from what you said it sounds like your not shy of some hard graft, It would keep you entertained if you go on benefits, and you could probaly sell it for a bit more once your done, you could work at your own pace and if you get the hang of it maybe you could get a job as a decorator when you return to work.Sorry :oops: rant over

best wishes again
(i promise i wont try and give you advice in my next post........well ill try :oops: )
 

koyaanisqatsi

Well-known member
Re: Can it be True?

This is not bad advice. Well...it is, but only because you don't know me. I am totally inept at "Home Improvement". I can easily imagine a house being worth less after I've worked on it. Moreover the houses require major renovation, much more than a coat of paint. Things like a complete electrical upgrade, complete plumbing replacement, replacement of cabinets, refinishing floors and woodwork, painting. I know there are books out there, but there is no substitute for experience. Costs of tools and materials would kill me. Building costs in general are going way up. I need a house that is pretty much ready to live in.


Danfalc said:
koyaanisqatsi said:
Maybe you could do one of the houses up?
 
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