Bully at Work

[lilmutegirl]

I've worked at an organization for nearly a decade, and have been in my current role for about 3.5 years. Someone who was basically my mentor when I was promoted has recently sent a series of emails (to groups of people-all of us peers, sometimes including managers above us) expressing how she feels about changes that are being made. Spoiler alert: if the changes don't fall in line with her vision of her future career at the organization, she's not happy.

I am currently in the exact position that she wants (ultimately, she wants to be promoted above this position). She sent an email stating that it is unfair how some people got into their positions, myself included, and named us individually, though we all accepted these positions due to business needs, and did not seek them out.

I have spoken to 4 people (and that's just today) who are all in support of me, and find her unsafe to be around-we don't trust her not to use what we say to her against us. She has a vendetta against my manager, and plays the victim a lot.

I have felt that she was manipulative and a bully before, but also considered the possibility that I am very sensitive, and could have been misinterpreting her words/actions. Now, I feel vindicated, especially since some of my co-workers stated that they feel bullied by her as well.

It's very unfortunate that she is behaving this way. She's very smart and good at her job, other than working with others, which is ironic, because she prides herself on such great teamwork. She's also denied that she's struggling to anyone who has reached out to her, and accused them of being the people with the problem.

The really strange part of this situation is my reaction to it. I feel somewhat energized, hearing from others who feel the same way. I don't know if I just am relieved that it's not just me, or if there is something else behind it. Anyway, I feel like I am close to thriving as she's falling apart, and I have mixed emotions about that, because I don't want her to fail, but I also shouldn't cave to her manipulation (nor should anyone else).

Have you ever been in a situation like this, where you notice you are doing better at the same time as/because someone else is not?

 

[lily]

Hi lilmutegirl, I'm sorry to hear that you're in an upsetting situation right now. I hope it resolves soon. I was never in a situation where I noticed I am doing better while or because someone else is not, not that I'm aware of. Of course there may have been times I was doing better than someone else though.

 

[Phoenixx]

The really strange part of this situation is my reaction to it. I feel somewhat energized, hearing from others who feel the same way. I don't know if I just am relieved that it's not just me, or if there is something else behind it. Anyway, I feel like I am close to thriving as she's falling apart, and I have mixed emotions about that, because I don't want her to fail, but I also shouldn't cave to her manipulation (nor should anyone else).

Have you ever been in a situation like this, where you notice you are doing better at the same time as/because someone else is not?

You're feeling elation and relief for the fact you have the support of your coworkers in a toxic situation. There's nothing to feel guilty or bad about that.

You're right, no one should cave into that manipulation. Keep doing what you're doing and focus on the job at hand. She'll either continue to dig her hole deeper to where HR will get involved (if they care to; because honestly it sounds like she's pretty much harassing others at this point) or she'll move on.

Currently dealing with a similar situation at work, except this person has been trying to set people up just to have something to turn them in for because she's unhappy with the position she's in. A few weeks ago she complained to my foreman that I left multiple samples for her to test when she came in for her shift because I didn't want to do them -- which is a straight up lie of course. Thankfully my foreperson didn't believe a word she said because this person has been having this piss poor behavior for a while now because she hates the shift she's on. What had actually happened was someone came into the lab and dropped off a single sample to be tested while I was out elsewhere in the building doing other tasks. Of course I didn't know they dropped it off and oftentimes no one leaves a note or anything, they just expect you to see it in the midst of everything else going on. The guy I was working with that night discovered it towards the end of the shift and told me about it, in which I put it up in a testing bottle right before she walked in. I mentioned it to her before I left that night and apologized. She said that was fine and she'd run it with her other tests she had to do that night anyways. Lol, apparently not all was fine. She has done this to other people to and has gotten talked to about it before. When my supervisor eventually catches wind she's doing this again, she most likely will be fired because my supervisor has no patience for that kind of behavior.

Hopefully in your job setting your management has no patience for bully behavior either. Since there's enough of you feeling victimized by this person, I would hope that management would step in immediately to improve the working environment.