Broken up; girlfriend gone bad?

[Geo]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 15 months yesterday and it's killing me. We were very close, and have had a few fall outs before but were able to make up. However this time I fear it's permanent.

The past week she has been acting very bizarre and distant. She has been acting sassy to me, her parents, and her grandparents. We usually have great long talks over texts/skype but the past week I could barely squeeze 2 words out of her at a time. Christmas Eve came and like last year we hung out. This was the breaking point. We just sat there on different couches watching TV. Her attitude was horrible, and I couldn't even get a hug out of her before leaving that night for Christmas.

Now yesterday I confronted her about it (over text) and the conversation went something like this:

Me: "Okay so I'm done trying to make this work. If you don't put in the effort to talk to me from now on, you're never going to hear from me again. I'm done trying."

Her: "There just isn't much interesting to say."

Me: "Your attitude on Christmas Eve was horrid. I'm not dating you anymore if you will continue to be like that. I'm fine not having anybody."

Her: "Sure didn't seem like it before but now I guess you're stronger than that."

Me: "I finally realized I have a good future. I'm taking my education very seriously now. If you want to downgrade for a different guy then by all means do so." (I realize I sounded conceited, but I needed to sound confident in this situation)

Her: "Up to you."

Me: "Haha you really don't care?"

Her: "I'm not holding you back from anything. There's no point in doing that to anyone."

Me: "This isn't about you holding me back. It never was. It's crystal clear you have no interest in me anymore."

Her: "Like I said I'm not keeping you hostage or anything."

Me: "That's how you want it to be...? Okay then. Happy New Year."

Her: "You too."

I've since tried to get in contact with her to no avail. She's not replying to any texts either. She has absolutely no interest in keeping me around as just a friend (we're childhood friends) either. I love her to death and she loved me just as much. So I don't know why this is happening, and I have no idea what options to take from here. She is very important to me (not just as a girlfriend) and I don't want to break contact forever.

tl;dr: I dumped my girlfriend because she was being bratty the past week. She doesn't care.

 

[coyote]

never give an ultimatum to someone you don't want to lose when they call your bluff

 

[MikeyC]

Having an argument over text is a bad idea. Talking about issues face-to-face means less interpretations.

You mentioned she's acting a bit distant the past week. Perhaps something had gone on in her life to make her act this way in the first place. From what I've gathered, this was unusual behaviour, so there could been something bothering her that she was having a tough time talking about. Was anything going on in her life that you do know about that may have caused her sudden hostility?

For now, there's nothing you can do. The conversation you two had is still too painful for the both of you, so time will tell if she cools down and wants to remain friends/a girlfriend. You've tried contacting her and she's unresponsive, so now just leave it and see if she responds.

 

[Geo]

I realize my mistake and have perhaps jumped the gun too soon. I was blinded because of the fact she didn't seem to care.

She doesn't really go out much, and I'm close with her parents so nothing too extreme went on that I couldn't have known. She has self-esteem issues like her (ex)boyfriend, but I know virtually everything about her and I still can't figure out the cause of her actions.

She's really the only important friend I have in my life and I just can't lose her. She's my best friend and I fear she will choose to keep me out of her life. I feel too nervous to do anything every waking moment, I really want to re-solve this ASAP. I'm still trying to talk to her but she just won't let me.

 

[MikeyC]

We all make rash decisions sometimes, mate, but now you'll have to see what she wants.

There's a very real chance she no longer wants to talk to you, but who knows how that'll go in time. She might even apologise. All you can do is let her come to you.

 

[skins]

i'm sorry mate, but i fear its all over...no matter how close you were for that 18 month period, people get tired of/sick of/over the other person in relationships all the time regardless of the length of time of being together, short or long term it makes no difference...and it can be almost impossible to get a rational explanation out of them. It could be a very simple final straw that breaks the camels back so to speak....it might be a combination of things that have happened over time and be difficult to nail down to any one bad thing you did. it's how things go..it sucks but it happens. all you can do is move on.

 

[Geo]

Yep, it's all over unfortunately. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. She just kind of decided she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore, out of the blue. Biggest heartache of my life starts now.

Fun fact: This is the same girl from this topic.