bridesmaid jitters!!!!

[maggie]

thanks so much for all your insight , ideas and advice You all help me more than anyone with stuff cause noone else knows what i am going through...still not sure what to do yet, but dont think i can do it, I know I'm copping out, but I know how I'm gonna react... right now they are having some issues :roll: so secretly, i wish maybe wedding won't happen :roll: but that is so so nasty of me..gonna try to think positive though and try to do the right thing...whatever that is :? and one thing i just realized--have to be part of receiving line at reception--yikes!! life scares me :evil:

 

[Butterfly]

I don't mean to be insensitive, maggie, but your thread is very intriguing! Read every post so far and I'm anxious to know what happened with your bridesmaid blues.
Have your made up your mind? Is your friend getting married after all?

A friend from work wants you to be a VIP at her wedding, so you must be doing something right, socially speaking. Whether you go through with it or not, I think you've been capable of showing a bit of your true self to this person, and that's awesome. 8)

 

[Faith]

That happened to me as well. My best friend who I've known forever, asked me to be her maid of honor a few years ago. My first thought was "how the heck am I gonna do this?!" (I know, selfish) :roll:

Of course I was happy and all, but I was already thinking of the speech, people staring, plus she invited about 300 people, advertised her wedding in the paper and was inviting all her relatives to come! Man, I was stressing even before she asked me. The thing is, I knew this day would come. So I was dreading it way ahead of time. Worry and dread take so much out of a person I tell ya!

I eventually told her that I couldn't do it and felt like such a jerk! She understood though. Still, I have those lingering thoughts of "if only....."

 

[maggie]

hey Butterfly...my friend is still getting married, although they have had a few issues the last few weeks, it is still going ahead, i assume :evil: I just don't think i could get through that day and act like a normal person. the days leading up to it would be constant worrying on my part...stupid, but i know that's how i'm gonna react 8O . i know i have to tell her, it's just so hard for me to spit out words...and then to do it without crying...that's another story :? thanks for your kind words about her choosing me for bridal party...it is an honor..and i should be really happy..but the stress cancels out the happy...know what i mean?

 

[Butterfly]

I sure know what you mean! I got married last year in a sort of hush ceremony and a little cocktail at home afterwards. It was a very happy day, but the anticipation was awful. A couple of girls from the office (working at home now) invited me to go out because they couldn't believe I wasn't having a shower. Sometimes I think I should have invited my very few friends and get all together, but couldn't do it. I'm just unable to survive all that attention.

It's so annoying. Avoiding bullying and aggressive people is one thing, but not being able to enjoy love and friendship is such a waste...
So, I have an idea of how you feel.

And, what happens if you ask exactly what is expected of you (make sure you won't have to make a speech and so on)? You could tell your friend that you're going through a really sensitive period and need a bit of support. Above all, I'd remember that all eyes will be on the bride.

Good luck!

ps. don't forget to keep us posted

 

[maggie]

i think i decided what i'm gonna do 8O , maybe some of you can tell me what you think. I'm gonna buy my friend a nice thank-you card, and explain my situation without getting into too much detail, cause, after all, i do have to work with her (plus, i am a much better writer than talker :roll: ) I will tell her in the card how honoured i feel that she thought so much of me to ask me to be in wedding in the first place, but the stress and anxiety i would feel from now until the wedding, would ruin it for me, and probably be quite noticeable to others :? I will let her know how happy i would be to be invited to the wedding, and that i wanted to give her proper notice to ask someone else to take my place....i would word it something like that....what do you think?