theslowesthand
Banned
From How are you feeling?
B*red to F*ckin B*gery, day-in-day-out ... but hanging in there.
My life has recntly gone to the SH*TS. Getting almost impssble to deal with, hence the hard binging from morning to night. I really have no idae how to sort this out, apart from doing that. As i said - IMPOSSIBLE.
Been tryin to FORCE myself outside house, not cause want to, but that i cant seem stand being inside right now - its driving me litreally "INSANE". My misery seems to be intimately "connected" somehow to all in my house, so really if want to escape this hellish misery, i have only ONE OPTION LEFT - to ESCAPE from my extremely limited "house-life" .. to simply go ANYWHERE ELSE on earth; seems simple, but for me (house-bound type) is VERY VERY challenging. My WHOLE LIFE is inside my house.
I probably have quite a lot of options, but its MY EXTREMELY TIMID/RIGID/FEARFUL MIND that "FORBIDS" almost all of those possible options.
But as i mentioned a week or so ago in a post, i am at quite a major "crossroads" or "crisies" in my life, and THINGS MUST CHANGE - I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CHANGE (its essentially "CHANGE OR DIE" .. and that's not just generally, i feel there's a bit of "LITERAL" in that also).
And i think that a number of things inmy life WILL HAVE TO "DIE", in order to MAKE ROOM for some more HEALTHIER options in my life. Its one or the other, for me - don't change ANYTHING, or change "EVERYTHING". As if i just change "a few things", then basically everything's gonna stay the same in general, and so i will have the same problems...
(sorry if i sound like a hard-rock song!)
Thnks for your reply MikeyC.
I feel this issue is very "extensive", and so have created the following thread >>> Breaking out of the Rut
If you (or anyone else wants to reply, please do so at the above thread).
Edit: Just saw your last post MikeyC, which has brought to mind a couple more points.
1) Therapy - i'm considering going back to therapy very soon (have talked to my old therapist over phone).
2) Hobby - get more/back into my music (still have my acoustic guitar (learnt to play sheet music for it); would love to have a drum set, or an electric guitar (either lead or bass, but i thnk bass = WAY easier!). That's probably the only half-decent hobby i've ever had (that is, if you dont count childhood hobbies of collecting various things (stamps, coins, comics, etc), or chess & playing cards (which i only did at school). And listening to music is hardly a hobby!. For many years, I've had this "dream" of getting properly into playing musical instruments (quite a few of my relatives have been pretty full-on with playing various musical instruments; one was one of the best Hawiian steel guitarists around (& put out the odd tape here-and-there; another, my grandad, was actually (way back) the #1 bag-pipe player in the country for a few years (& was also a very good banjo player).
B*red to F*ckin B*gery, day-in-day-out ... but hanging in there.
My life has recntly gone to the SH*TS. Getting almost impssble to deal with, hence the hard binging from morning to night. I really have no idae how to sort this out, apart from doing that. As i said - IMPOSSIBLE.
Been tryin to FORCE myself outside house, not cause want to, but that i cant seem stand being inside right now - its driving me litreally "INSANE". My misery seems to be intimately "connected" somehow to all in my house, so really if want to escape this hellish misery, i have only ONE OPTION LEFT - to ESCAPE from my extremely limited "house-life" .. to simply go ANYWHERE ELSE on earth; seems simple, but for me (house-bound type) is VERY VERY challenging. My WHOLE LIFE is inside my house.
Thats what i'm being forced to consider right now (out of despiration), to get my "system" to FORCE me out of the house say every few days. The 1st hurdle is to actually GET OUT THERE (find the time & mental-willingness to do so). Then maybe go walk somewhere, then sit down & read a book for an hour/so (= the "purpose" part of it, just walking somewhere is boring for me).
I probably have quite a lot of options, but its MY EXTREMELY TIMID/RIGID/FEARFUL MIND that "FORBIDS" almost all of those possible options.
But as i mentioned a week or so ago in a post, i am at quite a major "crossroads" or "crisies" in my life, and THINGS MUST CHANGE - I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CHANGE (its essentially "CHANGE OR DIE" .. and that's not just generally, i feel there's a bit of "LITERAL" in that also).
And i think that a number of things inmy life WILL HAVE TO "DIE", in order to MAKE ROOM for some more HEALTHIER options in my life. Its one or the other, for me - don't change ANYTHING, or change "EVERYTHING". As if i just change "a few things", then basically everything's gonna stay the same in general, and so i will have the same problems...
(sorry if i sound like a hard-rock song!)
Thnks for your reply MikeyC.
I feel this issue is very "extensive", and so have created the following thread >>> Breaking out of the Rut
If you (or anyone else wants to reply, please do so at the above thread).
Edit: Just saw your last post MikeyC, which has brought to mind a couple more points.
1) Therapy - i'm considering going back to therapy very soon (have talked to my old therapist over phone).
2) Hobby - get more/back into my music (still have my acoustic guitar (learnt to play sheet music for it); would love to have a drum set, or an electric guitar (either lead or bass, but i thnk bass = WAY easier!). That's probably the only half-decent hobby i've ever had (that is, if you dont count childhood hobbies of collecting various things (stamps, coins, comics, etc), or chess & playing cards (which i only did at school). And listening to music is hardly a hobby!. For many years, I've had this "dream" of getting properly into playing musical instruments (quite a few of my relatives have been pretty full-on with playing various musical instruments; one was one of the best Hawiian steel guitarists around (& put out the odd tape here-and-there; another, my grandad, was actually (way back) the #1 bag-pipe player in the country for a few years (& was also a very good banjo player).
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