Braindead

[stardog]

I feel nothing today. I got up at 2.30pm, ate lunch, watched tv and have been sitting on this computer since then, reading other peoples posts on this forum and others. I don't know why I do this, but I do it almost obsessively, every day. It's virtually all I do, along with looking up crap on the internet. I hardly even read any of it, I certainly don't care about most of it (the other day I just looked up stuff that was on tv, for no reason)

I have stuff I know I need to do, theres a demo I have to do for application for a music college, I have to clear this stupid debt in my bank, start looking for places to live as I am gonna get kicked out soon

But I just don't care. It's like theres this gaping hole inside of me, where my soul should be. I don't feel alive, at all. I just feel..nothing. I don't see anyone most of the time, friends are very, very distant

I don't want to stay like this, but just can't seem to motivate myself to do ANYTHING. I'm surprised I'm writing this, to be honest. I had suicidal thoughts the other day, for the first time but I don't think I even care enough to go through with it. How is it possible to live like this? Everyone else my age is going out, having a good time it's what life is about. Without a life what is the point in living. I just exist.

my brain is foggy

 

[longlivesolitude]

I sometimes feel that way too. Maybe you should just try to motivate yourself to do something. Becoming better at something or just doing some of the tasks that needs to be done. I think it can turn into a vicious circle if your just sitting doing zombie-tasks for too long. Heh.. anyway.. just a tip :roll:

 

[stardog]

blimey man you need to get some good sleep and make some lists.

Lists of what?? I agree about the sleep thing, I need loads more, but I don't think thats the main problem, to be honest I think I'm just slowly going crazy from being isolated for so long

 

[longlivesolitude]

Hm.. I know it's not going to sound nice, but I think exercise would help a lot too.

 

[Alaina]

That's how my life is too. I have so much I should be doing, but all I do is the day to day things such as going on the internet, and going for walks. I can barely motivate myself to do anything towards my degree, and I have no long term goals or ambitions; I just don't want to do ANYTHING.

It's not just the social phobia that gets me down, it's this lack of wanting to do anything, ever. I too have thoughts about killing myself sometimes; I don't think I will ever do that but I hate this life so much that it makes me feel better to imagine killing myself.

HOWEVER, I think this is just one phase in my life. It's how things are at the moment, but I think things will change, with time. With time, things change; situations you're in, and also you. So I'm just holding on, doing what I can, waiting for things to get better!

 

[limelight]

I also have almost zero motivation. My grades have dropped because I procrastinate with homework and often don't end up doing it. My parents get mad because I never help them with anything. Other crap doesn't get done or is put off.

I spend far too much time on the internet... why? ... because I can talk to people NORMALLY on the net with no anxiety. Phew. I want to be able to do that in real life though.

 

[Nytro]

Hang in there, I procrastinate as well but lately ive been setting times for myself like 1-2 hr. max on internet and then i break up tasks i need to do and do what i can in a day without it pissing me off.

If you set limits for yourself you might feel better, take a look back at the end of the day and feel good for getting alot done.

Get into a hobby you like and spend 15min a day on it, that shit will add up after a year...wanna play guitar? Learn tabs to favorite songs?

 

[Richey]

Nytro you are spot on, set yourself a limit of 2 hours max on the net, maybe come back online before you go to bed and in between set yourself tasks. I practice guitar and read alot, try to finish off homework, go for a walk or run. Keep busy

 

[Septor]

Yea its not good to spend to much time doing anything on the net and like other people said set a limit on how long you are online.Find some thing you like do you like do like a hobby.To much of anything is bad.

 

[rko74]

im just like you

O wow i totally saw myself in your post, i too am exactly like you.I would get up at 330pm have slimfast and watch some tv, then head downstairs to check out the internet.But now im getting up early around 12pm and trying to get rid of some bad habits.I can relate about lack of motivation! I really hard to gather up motivation when you dread doing the thing that will help you.

 

[jamez]

I can relate to what you're saying. I feel that my whole life has been a blur, I can't think straight most of the times and my mind is cloudy and unclear. I haven't got things worked out yet though I've been trying recently. So, I'm hardly an expert on this.

But some of the things I have been trying, it might help with yourself. These are just a couple of small things.
- Making lists are good. Make a list of hobbies or things you would like to do or learn about. If you have a lot of time on your hands then it could be spent these things you like.
- Make decisions (A lot of them, small and big) stick by them, practice self-control, they could be right or wrong. You'll learn from them either way.

And the relapses are tough too. Sometimes I can be doing so well for maybe a day or a week but then I'll sink back to old habits. I still haven't gotten around this, but if you feel that slipping back, start from the beginning again, give yourself a bit of time again, do the things you enjoy (not internet or tv). Something that is more active orientated is much better such as reading a book, researching a topic you're interested in, or any physical activities are usually good.

 

[emmdee]

I have ambitions and goals, but whether i will aspire them is another question.
All i can say is that it's just a phase, if you want it to be.
Life can be simple, if you want it to be.
You can get what you want, if you want to.
You can be an amazing person, if you want to.

Basically, you have to care to achieve the good things in life. Proof is everywhere, in every city, every town. And you can probably change this fact about you.

...Again, only if you want to. If you don't want to do anything, then you never will do anything. I'm sorry, but it's the world's way. If you give it everything you have, things will just fall into place. =]

On a completely offtopic note, writing always helps me organize my mind and figure things out. Maybe keep a blog? Mine is anonymous, and i don't give the link to anyone. Actually, only one person in my life even knows that i have one. This gives me the freedom to say and do as i feel, without the consequences after. Or, like everyone else has stated, take up something you enjoy doing. Set limits. This may help give you the motivation you need to clear your mind.