stardog
Well-known member
I feel nothing today. I got up at 2.30pm, ate lunch, watched tv and have been sitting on this computer since then, reading other peoples posts on this forum and others. I don't know why I do this, but I do it almost obsessively, every day. It's virtually all I do, along with looking up crap on the internet. I hardly even read any of it, I certainly don't care about most of it (the other day I just looked up stuff that was on tv, for no reason)
I have stuff I know I need to do, theres a demo I have to do for application for a music college, I have to clear this stupid debt in my bank, start looking for places to live as I am gonna get kicked out soon
But I just don't care. It's like theres this gaping hole inside of me, where my soul should be. I don't feel alive, at all. I just feel..nothing. I don't see anyone most of the time, friends are very, very distant
I don't want to stay like this, but just can't seem to motivate myself to do ANYTHING. I'm surprised I'm writing this, to be honest. I had suicidal thoughts the other day, for the first time but I don't think I even care enough to go through with it. How is it possible to live like this? Everyone else my age is going out, having a good time it's what life is about. Without a life what is the point in living. I just exist.
my brain is foggy
I have stuff I know I need to do, theres a demo I have to do for application for a music college, I have to clear this stupid debt in my bank, start looking for places to live as I am gonna get kicked out soon
But I just don't care. It's like theres this gaping hole inside of me, where my soul should be. I don't feel alive, at all. I just feel..nothing. I don't see anyone most of the time, friends are very, very distant
I don't want to stay like this, but just can't seem to motivate myself to do ANYTHING. I'm surprised I'm writing this, to be honest. I had suicidal thoughts the other day, for the first time but I don't think I even care enough to go through with it. How is it possible to live like this? Everyone else my age is going out, having a good time it's what life is about. Without a life what is the point in living. I just exist.
my brain is foggy