Brain damage?

[Neebo]

Hi everyone! I haven't posted on here in about three years,so it feels kind of weird to be wrtiting this post. By the way I'd like to say a huge welcome to any new members or visitors to the site

My life over the past three years has improved. A few years ago I was a virtual recluse who couldn't even leave the house Now these day's I am back in college studying and also working part time as a food handler. My confidence has increased since three years ago. However there is something that has always bothered me :x

It was about six years ago when I was going to see a clinical psychologist,that I was diagnosed as having social anxiety disorder. The thing is though, they also tested by mental abilities ,ie intelligence and common sense. After they had done the test the results werent so good. According to them I was ''slow'' I had poor co ordination and motor skills and I also had memory lapses as well, not to mention the fact that I am crap at socializing :x Apparently I was also told that I couldn't do the simplest of tasks ,ie such as making a cup of tea or even getting my self dressed 8O To make even more worried they recommended I go for a brain scan to see what was wrong.

A few weeks later I did go the hospital, but they just took my blood pressure and gave me a physical examination. But they neglected to give me a brain scan like they were requested to. This was about seven years ago now and ever since then I have always wondered if I am actually brain damaged and that is why I am like the way I am Things have got worse of late. I am starting to become more and more convinced that I am brain damaged but just very mildly.

I look odd. In the past someone said I looked like I was in a world of my own and I didn't know what day it was. This comment came from one of my mums so called former best friends I've also had next door neighbours ask my parents if I was mentally retarded 8O And also comments such as ''Whats wrong with that boy or ''He looks weird,gormless and half asleep'' :evil: Its so frustrating because thats just how I look. I can't help it. Even though my confidence has improved and I am socializing more, I still think I am Brain damaged and would like a scan. I am sure that if I have the scan, the damage will show and then they can fix it and I will be cured

I have asked my parents over and over again If I had any serious accidents that caused me to severely injure my brain. they have told me no over and over. I just don't believe them. In fact in the past I even accused them of covering it up. I told that I thought that they knew very well that there was something wrong with my brain and that they were both keeping it a secret from me. Understandably they were both upset and hurt that I could think such a thing but I just can't help it.

Sometimes it just eats away at me :x I wonder why they didn't give me the brain scan so they could cure me I have tried to order one again, but no one believes me :x My doctor, psychiatrist and parents think its all in my head. I just can't get it out of my head. Some nights I can't sleep at night :evil: I have even contemplated deliberately knocking myself out or causing myself a head injury, just so I will be admitted to hospital and then they would have to give me a brain scan then.

Sorry the post was so long, I just had to get this off my chest.

 

[siren_0_0]

You can ask them to give you a brain scan without banging your head against a wall. lol Go to a different hospital and just fake it a little and say you think you had a concussion from an accident you had this morning (make one up), it can't be that hard, hospitals want to charge you money any way they can, and doctors can't contest you too much if you complain that you are having symptoms of a concussion and I'm sure if what you say is true and you look as if you are half asleep, they might think that it's due to your "concussion". It'll actually work in your favor. Might cost you a fortune though but hey if it's something that's bugging the hell out of you, just find out before it turns into OCD.

 

[lizzz]

Maybe you could volunteer at a university.
I had an mri brain scan at university, when they were teaching some researchers how to use the machine.

But then you also need someone to look at it.... furthermore, if you wanted to a specific part of hte brain testing they'd probably need to ingest some special stuff while performing a task etc...
I think you'd need something pretty specialised.

I think you may be worrying needlessly by the way. I think that it is really bad/unethical the way they've dealt with you - It's very irresponsible to give people serious information flippantly like they have done. I know it's a long time ago now, but I'd just go back there and say you want it following up after worrying all this time about it.

Were they watching you during these motor skills tests? (obviously they must have monitored the results, but in the room making you nervous)? I don't believe any test can separate SA effects from poor motor skills.
It's very hard to disregard a seemingly objective medical opinion I can imagine, but there are many grey areas in psychological testing. It's not that sophisticated IMO.

 

[lizzz]

....

 

[Neebo]

Thanks guys, like I said I just needed to get it off my chest because even after seven years it still bugs the hell out of me! :x There are a couple of good ideas there. I hadn't thought of volunteering for a university or faking it. Then again, I'm not sure my acting skills would be up to the latter LOL! Anyway thanks for your suggestions

 

[Zipper]

I could have guessed you were in the UK... I don't think your doctors quite know what they are doing. You are not brain damaged.... You do know how to make yourself a cup of tea, obviously....

Your only problem is that you have this idea: "I should get a brain scan, I'm brain damaged" stuck in your head. Just forget about his whole episode in your life. Your MD's should be ashamed of themselves for making a worrier like you even more worried... But perhaps the event NEVER EVEN HAPPENED. You remember it as something that happened to you but it was really just a bad dream. Why don't you ask for your medical records and check out just what those doctors said, if anything.

Everybody functions at different levels. I'm sure you can do certain things worse that others, and certain things better than others. I'm sure there is someone out there who is worse than you at everything, and someone who is better than you at everything. You lie somewhere on the human continuum, so quit being anxious. Just enjoy your life, the time is ticking, and it is time to give up your preoccupation.

If you really want, pretend to have a concussion and pay to have a brain scan. I doubt a doctor could determine anything about brain damage from looking at a brain scan. The technology just isn't that good, and will likely never be. Take a look at some MRI images of brains... They are just not very informative about matters like these, brain and personality functioning are just too complicated.