Boldness (bring on the pain!)

[Infected_Malignity]

I think I've finally figured out why shy people never have enemies (or an overabundance of friends). They avoid pain to such a degree that even if they're out and sociable/having a good time, all they ever do is play it safe (I'm even guilty of this). What I mean by that is never fully opening up to anyone because they're too afraid of being vulnerable. Or too afraid of showing their personality and getting stepped on.

So what's the answer to that equation? I think I've finally found it - welcoming the pain. Going towards it, knowing it hurts, but still pushing through anyway. Knowing that through boldness, you'll probably end up making a lot of both enemies and friends throughout it... and accepting it.

Friends and enemies are almost always packaged together (you can usually see proof in extremely bold individuals). As long as you can accept that, it should become easier to BOLD, BOLD, BOLD away!

 

[Psychedelicious]

You're right, I don't have any enemies, but it's much harder than it actually sounds. And it seems like even if I do try a little bit, I get knocked down even harder. There's always something in the way of it, and one little thing wrong can me give up on helping myself. Plus another problem with people like this is that they cannot open up because they feel no one will like them. No one wants enemies, you don't have to have enemies. People usually do but it's not impossible to have no. It's just that there seems to be no way to just get through it, you have to try very very very hard on all sorts of things.

 

[phobos]

and people with chest pain are afraid to run marathons. if the pain was from lack of exposure, fine... that's a different story. Then you can push push push.

No, social anxiety isn't fatal (unless it causes vertigo, in which case can be as healthy and safe as being drunk). When you're younger, you can take some bullets, but the older you get and it starts affecting your health, then it's got to be re approached. <ost of these people are beyond their reasonable limits as it is, all of the time..the limits can be stretched but only for so long... there can be backlash. not because they fear something "out there" is going to come down on them or don't want a fight. Some people are under so much pressure they are a fight waiting to happen...that's the last thing they need. If someones body is emulating a non afflicted person at the end of their rope 24/7 in these situations, it's a recipe to cause more harm than good. It needs to be looked at from root level. It doesn't have to mean medicine.

Otherwise, it's not a whole lot different than trying to force an autistic patient to make eye contact with the rest of the class and "take a chance, just say hello!" and don't you dare get down about it when you push push push and 19 out of 20 times it fails, and the exception was neither a failure nor a success. Some things are hardwired, and have to be taken care of from the most basic internal levels. The wiring's not going to change, but it can be coped with.

 

[kyle]

I think I've finally figured out why shy people never have enemies (or an overabundance of friends). They avoid pain to such a degree that even if they're out and sociable/having a good time, all they ever do is play it safe (I'm even guilty of this). What I mean by that is never fully opening up to anyone because they're too afraid of being vulnerable. Or too afraid of showing their personality and getting stepped on.

So what's the answer to that equation? I think I've finally found it - welcoming the pain. Going towards it, knowing it hurts, but still pushing through anyway. Knowing that through boldness, you'll probably end up making a lot of both enemies and friends throughout it... and accepting it.

Friends and enemies are almost always packaged together (you can usually see proof in extremely bold individuals). As long as you can accept that, it should become easier to BOLD, BOLD, BOLD away!

Excellent post. 8)