Anonymous
Well-known member
Hi! I would really appreciate some help here, let me explain my situation. I am 19 years old, and I just went to uni. The good thing is, the first week of uni really helped me because I introduced myself to dozens of people during the socials, new flat mates, new classmates, new everyone, and I was really able to start with a clean slate.
Now I am part of a 'circle' of friends, the people I am going to live with in a house next year, and everything is mostly good. But my problem is that, in situations where there are a lot of people around (all of them I know on some level), like a club social at a bar or actually on a club activity, I find it really hard to think of something to say! It's not that I am afraid of starting or participating in a group conversation, it's just that my mind goes blank. (This point is usually reached after the obvious pleasantries are exhausted, such as "How's uni going? Weather's good/bad, had many lectures today?" etc ...) This often means I rely on others to start a conversation and I would then comment on the subject, but if the conversation dies for some reason, it would rarely be me that strikes it up again, or me that changes the conversation onto a new subject.
This blankness also happens during one-to-one situations, which sometimes ends up with me standing on my own. The problem becomes somewhat relieved with copious amounts of drink! (But not always). I think basically I need general conversation tips, and advice on how to overcome this "blankness" (I often find the same thought rolling around my head: "What shall I say! Got to say something!!") and I would really appreciate it if someone recommended a good self-help book (which I have looked at on amazon but they seem to get very mixed reviews!)
Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thankyou.
Now I am part of a 'circle' of friends, the people I am going to live with in a house next year, and everything is mostly good. But my problem is that, in situations where there are a lot of people around (all of them I know on some level), like a club social at a bar or actually on a club activity, I find it really hard to think of something to say! It's not that I am afraid of starting or participating in a group conversation, it's just that my mind goes blank. (This point is usually reached after the obvious pleasantries are exhausted, such as "How's uni going? Weather's good/bad, had many lectures today?" etc ...) This often means I rely on others to start a conversation and I would then comment on the subject, but if the conversation dies for some reason, it would rarely be me that strikes it up again, or me that changes the conversation onto a new subject.
This blankness also happens during one-to-one situations, which sometimes ends up with me standing on my own. The problem becomes somewhat relieved with copious amounts of drink! (But not always). I think basically I need general conversation tips, and advice on how to overcome this "blankness" (I often find the same thought rolling around my head: "What shall I say! Got to say something!!") and I would really appreciate it if someone recommended a good self-help book (which I have looked at on amazon but they seem to get very mixed reviews!)
Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thankyou.