Biggest confidence booster
- Thread starter Thelema
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Thelema
Well-known member
My biggest confidence boost came when my friend told me she was attracted to me. The one girl that knows everything about me good and bad some how was attracted to me.
Another thing was exercise. Its a great feeling when you realise you are literally 10 times stronger than when you began.
Another is when I realized that I am a man and therefore can have anything any other man on earth has because everyone is born equal and fates be damned. Any man is fully capable of anything that another man is.
Another thing was exercise. Its a great feeling when you realise you are literally 10 times stronger than when you began.
Another is when I realized that I am a man and therefore can have anything any other man on earth has because everyone is born equal and fates be damned. Any man is fully capable of anything that another man is.
Thelema
Well-known member
119 views and how many replies? Come on guys! We all have things we do to boost our confidence!
I'll give you guys a video to watch http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1539774746217048930&q=maxalding These are some of my heros. Not many videos exist of these guys and they are just amazing. The music in this video is awesome. VERY inspiring!
I'll give you guys a video to watch http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1539774746217048930&q=maxalding These are some of my heros. Not many videos exist of these guys and they are just amazing. The music in this video is awesome. VERY inspiring!
Thelema
Well-known member
Mick said:Thelema said:119 views and how many replies? Come on guys! We all have things we do to boost our confidence!
Finally!!! Wahoo!!! A good point Thelema.
My friend and I were discussing this yesterday evening but were too afraid of an unsavoury backlash if we were to open a topic regarding peoples lack of enthusiasm on here.
Look at the number of replies against the topics on the board. What does everyone do while they are logged in here?
I know at times it's a shitty existence but surely more people could contribute.
Mick
(I am now awaiting the unsavoury comments)
Yes we need more here than just down posts and useless beating up of ourselves.
When I wake up tomorrow I'm going to send a message to every person logged in that hasn't posted in this topic. I'll ask them to post what helps them...everyone has something to add.
Man didn't learn to fly by thinking about elephants and what horrible gliders they were. We won't get ANYWHER EVER if we don't stop the negative thinking. You know come on guys...you gonna sit in that hole forever? You might have a picture of the ocean and a tv but its still a hole.
Starry
Well-known member
Hmmm, nothing really boosts my confidence at all. :?
But there are things that make me feel a little better:
I suppose, I do feel a little better when I know someone genuinely cares about me. But my paranoia always makes me think that they don't really. That I'm imagining it; projecting my wants onto other people, so that doesn't last long. :? It tends to come and go in stages of "They care about me, wow, that's great." "No they don't they think you're pathetic and stupid, you're not worthy of them." "No they do care! Woo!" "No they don't." You get the idea lol...
Hmm, just waking up in a positive mood helps a lot though, the only problem is I don't know what causes the positive moods lol, they just seem to happen every now and again for no particular reason. :lol: But when I am in a positive mood, I feel alive for a change, energised, able to have fun and joke, able to not worry so much about what people think. I love the positive moods, if only I could find out what causes them. :lol:
Oh and sometimes a really great piece of music helps too, though it won't help if I'm in a depressed mood...
Okay, having typed that, I realise I need to find why I feel positive sometimes lol. :lol: So I can feel like that more often.
But there are things that make me feel a little better:
I suppose, I do feel a little better when I know someone genuinely cares about me. But my paranoia always makes me think that they don't really. That I'm imagining it; projecting my wants onto other people, so that doesn't last long. :? It tends to come and go in stages of "They care about me, wow, that's great." "No they don't they think you're pathetic and stupid, you're not worthy of them." "No they do care! Woo!" "No they don't." You get the idea lol...
Hmm, just waking up in a positive mood helps a lot though, the only problem is I don't know what causes the positive moods lol, they just seem to happen every now and again for no particular reason. :lol: But when I am in a positive mood, I feel alive for a change, energised, able to have fun and joke, able to not worry so much about what people think. I love the positive moods, if only I could find out what causes them. :lol:
Oh and sometimes a really great piece of music helps too, though it won't help if I'm in a depressed mood...
Okay, having typed that, I realise I need to find why I feel positive sometimes lol. :lol: So I can feel like that more often.
random
Well-known member
Thelema said:
Thanks for the message asking me to post. ANd thank you for the 'gliding elephants' comment - I needed the laugh.
But guys - Thelema and Mick - I don't think that I am being negative if I am not posting here. It's just a hard question for me because - although I am feeling good about other things - when you ask about my self confidence - first it trembled and then it fell. I don't know what happened to it. I am going to try CPR (cardio-pulmanary-resuscitation)...wish me luck......
DYiNG-iNSiDE
Well-known member
what boost my confidence the most i think is when ppl talk to me! like today for example was an AWFUL day uhhh didnt talk to ne1 all day at school it was just bad then when i was walking out the doors at the end of the day kim came up to me and was talkin then caleb yelled across the yard hey why dont you ever say hi to me anymore? i i did have something to ask him so i talked w/ him then walkin home tif and katie pulled up by me and asked if i wanted 2 come over but were bout 2 go outta town. its crazy, is almost like the second i walk outtathw school doors my SA lifts off alot (not all the way at all tho) and when i got home i did notice my confidence or whatever way alot better then when i walked outta school. oh and i wanted to ask, do yallfeel alot more at ease when ur with a friend and ppl u dont know than just with ppl u dont know? OK! of course its yes but i mean i actually talk when some1 i know good is around.
random
Well-known member
.........ok........ok I think I've got a pulse now.........
Well....I agree with the comments about physical exercise...I am really out of shape right now and I appreciate the reminder that I do feel more confident when I am maintaining regular exercise.
I have not acquired a stable source of self confidence but I am stripping away barriers to acquiring my own supply. At present, when I am really struggling, I have some DVD's that I watch. (last night - I was anxious - I watched anxiety DVD and was able to sleep well.) THey are DVDs produced by my church - sometimes our pastor (who suffered from anxiety in the past) creates a series of messages around a theme and if they help me - I get a copy and watch it as needed. I see that they are now on the web (free). I was trying to think of which one would be classified as building my self esteem the most - but I think parts of different ones help with different aspects of this issue.
The one that had the strongest impact in my life to date had to do with guilt. Apparently - and i didn't know this before I attended that service live - a barrier to my feeling self confident is major guilt in my past that I don't even think about. I attended the service on a Sunday and then had scheduled a week off from work. For 3 or 4 days after that service, I just couldn't stay awake...I kept sleeping...even when sitting up in a chair. I finally realized that it was profound relief. My family history so entrenched in me the belief that all my pain and everything wrong in their lives was because of me - that I wasn't loveable and never would be because???? I dunno.. I wasn't walking around feeling guilty but apparently I don't feel good about myself because my core self believes I am bad and this hurts others. THe sermon is part of series Titled "Encounters WIth Christ" and is dated March 26, 2006. The episode is titled "Christs Encounter WIth Guilty People". HEre's the link for 2006 where it is located
:http://tlc.org/sermons/?year=2006
After that sermon, and watching the DVD a few times afterwards, I begin to believe that I am not inherently bad in some secret way - that we all have issues, problems and we are still equally lovable, worthy.
For self confidence - the axiety sermons and the ones about how much God values you, how he approved of us before we were born, that he made us for love etc....these have helped me. Not sure I remember the titles offhand. I know one sermon that included a clip of the movie "Seaiscuit" was good for this issue but I don't remember the title.
I am at a turning point - I am laboring to delete from my beliefs that I am worthless - they are tough to remove - it's like self loathing is tattoed in my brain. But...I am getting better.
And - my therapist asked me to make small cards that i kept in my purse. I'd read the sayings on them when I was down. I need to find them again. Some were just person to person encouragement (quotes from other people about how we are born with worth and cannot lose it etc) and others were bible verses or lines from church that assert that I am loved and worthy.
Well....I agree with the comments about physical exercise...I am really out of shape right now and I appreciate the reminder that I do feel more confident when I am maintaining regular exercise.
I have not acquired a stable source of self confidence but I am stripping away barriers to acquiring my own supply. At present, when I am really struggling, I have some DVD's that I watch. (last night - I was anxious - I watched anxiety DVD and was able to sleep well.) THey are DVDs produced by my church - sometimes our pastor (who suffered from anxiety in the past) creates a series of messages around a theme and if they help me - I get a copy and watch it as needed. I see that they are now on the web (free). I was trying to think of which one would be classified as building my self esteem the most - but I think parts of different ones help with different aspects of this issue.
The one that had the strongest impact in my life to date had to do with guilt. Apparently - and i didn't know this before I attended that service live - a barrier to my feeling self confident is major guilt in my past that I don't even think about. I attended the service on a Sunday and then had scheduled a week off from work. For 3 or 4 days after that service, I just couldn't stay awake...I kept sleeping...even when sitting up in a chair. I finally realized that it was profound relief. My family history so entrenched in me the belief that all my pain and everything wrong in their lives was because of me - that I wasn't loveable and never would be because???? I dunno.. I wasn't walking around feeling guilty but apparently I don't feel good about myself because my core self believes I am bad and this hurts others. THe sermon is part of series Titled "Encounters WIth Christ" and is dated March 26, 2006. The episode is titled "Christs Encounter WIth Guilty People". HEre's the link for 2006 where it is located
:http://tlc.org/sermons/?year=2006
After that sermon, and watching the DVD a few times afterwards, I begin to believe that I am not inherently bad in some secret way - that we all have issues, problems and we are still equally lovable, worthy.
For self confidence - the axiety sermons and the ones about how much God values you, how he approved of us before we were born, that he made us for love etc....these have helped me. Not sure I remember the titles offhand. I know one sermon that included a clip of the movie "Seaiscuit" was good for this issue but I don't remember the title.
I am at a turning point - I am laboring to delete from my beliefs that I am worthless - they are tough to remove - it's like self loathing is tattoed in my brain. But...I am getting better.
And - my therapist asked me to make small cards that i kept in my purse. I'd read the sayings on them when I was down. I need to find them again. Some were just person to person encouragement (quotes from other people about how we are born with worth and cannot lose it etc) and others were bible verses or lines from church that assert that I am loved and worthy.
this might sound silly but, something else that works for me is buying new stuff :twisted: ..especially new clothes..firstly just the fact that i actually walked into the store and purchased it..feels awesome..and then wearing new stuff just makes me feel different somehow..and i feel like if i look good, then i feel better 8)Thelema said:
Scottish_Player
Well-known member
For me stuff like passing my driving test when i was younger helped boost my confidence, also being told by a work mate that iam the most chilled out person he had ever worked with gave me a sense of worth
Danfalc
Banned
maggie said:
Naw doesnt sound silly in the slightest maggie i totaly understand
And somthing simlar works for me and makes me feel a lil more better about myself and yeah maybe a lil more confident.Sometimes when my depression is really bad i struggle to keep on top of everything with living on my own.. so when i get my ass in gear and completley tidy my flat and organise everything it makes me feel so much better being in a nice tidy place otherwise it niggles at me.And the same goes for myself sometimes i can neglect myself a lil.. so when i make an effort and wear nice clothes.. put some really nice aftershave on and style my hair even if i aint going out i feel better about myself.Anyway i think this is a really good topic and posative... but with sp being so bad for alot of us on here our confidence and self esteem is that low not alot really makes an impact on it.Um like whats been said before.. exercise really helps me.. i never used to think i could cope with going to a gym cos i struggle to go ut so much and im even worse when around people but its one of the best changes ive made to my life in years.
And aslo today... i had a c.b.t session and ive been struggling with it.. but in todays session my worker got this lady who works there to come in to the room with us.. then he made me talk to this woman about myself who i had never met before for ten minutes while he filmed it 8O and im so so bad with just having my picture taken i was absolutley terrorfied and felt so awkward speaking to this lady i felt id made such an ass outta myself.
After the ten minutes were up he and the lady left the room and then he came back on his own... he asked me how anxious it had been for me outta 8,i said 8 cos it felt so awkard and extreme.To my suprise he said the lady only rated me as like 3-4 at first then said i was fine afterwards and didnt think i struggled or there was anything like wrong with me.
Then he played the tape back to me and i got ready to cringe because every picture i see of myself i hate and just like see all my flaws.. so i expected this to be horrible.But when i wtached it back i was really suprised.. and happy,cos watching it back i looked just like a normal person.. and even watching me being a lil nervous at the start was fine ya know i was like so what theres nothing bad about that cos it was so far from the way i felt i looked and came across when it was happening.. i didnt come across like a total freak or a nervous babbling wreck,but if i hadnt of seen the vidoe i would of sworn i had.It really has opend my eyes alot
im gonna try and take it further by recording myself and watching it back and really would recomend it to other people.
Thelema
Well-known member
Another thing about exercise is that when you do exercise athletes from a century ago can be a great motivator when you realise they had no supplements no sports scientists no stupid training machines...they just went out and did it.
Here is the great Eugene Sandow
At the age of only 19! This is way back in 1886!
Here is a good article from www.rosstraining.com about mental toughness
How does one gain confidence and develop mental toughness?
This is a common question, asked by many aspiring athletes. While searching the Internet, I typed the phrase “mind power” in the Google search engine. I received several thousand hits with this phrase. Many of the links were to expensive information products dedicated to the subject. For a few hundred bucks, some guru will tell you how to develop a strong mind, which will then supposedly improve athletic performance.
One thing that I’ve learned in my life is that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Training the mind does not require an investment in an expensive course, nor does it require a degree in psychology or neuroscience.
Although I am all for strategies such as pre-competition visualization and positive affirmations, there is one commonly overlooked way to develop an indomitable mindset.
If you train the body, the mind will follow. By pushing yourself in the gym, your mind is forced to come along for the ride. If your mind is weak, you will quit as soon as fatigue mounts. Fighters are trained to work through fatigue. The ability to display skill in a fatigued state is a unique skill in itself.
Such abilities are developed through intense physical training. If you want a strong, confident mind, you must develop this mindset in the gym.
Consider the words below from Bernard Hopkins, one of the greatest middleweight boxers of all time. These words came in a pre-fight interview earlier in his career. Bernard said the following:
“I’m always going to come in (to the fight) overconfident and I have a reason to. I always come in overconfident because I train so hard that I leave no room for doubt in my mind. I never go in there to lose. The word is not even in my dictionary. I train confident, and I train to think overconfidently. If I didn’t, I’d be a fool.”
By pushing through strenuous workouts, you will gradually improve physically. As your strength and conditioning improve, you will gain confidence in your abilities. This process does not happen overnight. It takes time, dedication, perseverance, and a regular dose of hard work.
There is no room for doubt in an athlete’s mind. You must gain confidence in yourself. As you push through difficult challenges and routines, your mind will become increasingly resilient.
It is easy to quit when the going gets tough. A strong mind will enable you to keep plugging away despite the fatigue that will inevitably mount. As Vince Lombardi once said:
“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”
Tour De France bicycling king Lance Armstrong perhaps said it best with the following words:
"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. That surrender, even the smallest act of giving up, stays with me. So when I feel like quitting, I ask myself, which would I rather live with?"
Obviously, you need a strong mind to live with such conviction, but you also need a strong body. Quitting offers an easy way out of any challenge. Everyone has a breaking point. By continually raising the bar in the gym, you can avoid reaching this point during competition. Train your body to go the distance, and the mind will be prepared for the journey.
Don’t just coast through your workouts at the gym. Crank up the intensity and gain confidence in your training. Don’t enter your competition wishing that you had one more week to train. Plan ahead of time, put in the work, and develop a strong body AND mind!
To drive home this point, let’s look at one brief conditioning workout. Set a timer and challenge yourself to perform 100 burpees as fast as possible. Can you perform 100 burpees in 10 minutes? What about 9, 8, 7, 6, or 5 minutes? How fast can you go?
As you work through this brief challenge, your mind will start whispering in one ear, convincing you to stop completely or take an extended rest period. It will become difficult to maintain a fast pace as fatigue starts to rear its ugly head.
Upon completing the routine, the mind may add another piece of advice, something such as “Let’s never work through that routine again…”
When working through a difficult challenge, it is useful to ignore the mind. Don’t let the mind convince you to quit. Stay focused on the task at hand. Make the decision to complete the challenge in its entirety BEFORE you begin the workout. You may even find it useful to post motivating words on the walls of your gym. It is always useful to glance up to a motivational phrase from a dominant athlete such as Lance Armstrong. A quick glimpse may provide that extra spark that you need to keep working.
Before closing this section, I’d like to provide one last quote. These words come from former heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali. He once said:
"I hated every minute of training, but I said, Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
Many readers may consider these words harsh. After all, we live in world where the easy road is most often traveled. You must remember however that the fight game is harsh. Combat sports are not for everyone. Anyone who suggests otherwise is talking out of his ass. If you wish to partake in such an event, you must take the training seriously.
Prepare the body and mind, or be prepared for injury.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is one more picture of Sandow.
taken in 1895
Here is the great Eugene Sandow
At the age of only 19! This is way back in 1886!
Here is a good article from www.rosstraining.com about mental toughness
How does one gain confidence and develop mental toughness?
This is a common question, asked by many aspiring athletes. While searching the Internet, I typed the phrase “mind power” in the Google search engine. I received several thousand hits with this phrase. Many of the links were to expensive information products dedicated to the subject. For a few hundred bucks, some guru will tell you how to develop a strong mind, which will then supposedly improve athletic performance.
One thing that I’ve learned in my life is that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Training the mind does not require an investment in an expensive course, nor does it require a degree in psychology or neuroscience.
Although I am all for strategies such as pre-competition visualization and positive affirmations, there is one commonly overlooked way to develop an indomitable mindset.
If you train the body, the mind will follow. By pushing yourself in the gym, your mind is forced to come along for the ride. If your mind is weak, you will quit as soon as fatigue mounts. Fighters are trained to work through fatigue. The ability to display skill in a fatigued state is a unique skill in itself.
Such abilities are developed through intense physical training. If you want a strong, confident mind, you must develop this mindset in the gym.
Consider the words below from Bernard Hopkins, one of the greatest middleweight boxers of all time. These words came in a pre-fight interview earlier in his career. Bernard said the following:
“I’m always going to come in (to the fight) overconfident and I have a reason to. I always come in overconfident because I train so hard that I leave no room for doubt in my mind. I never go in there to lose. The word is not even in my dictionary. I train confident, and I train to think overconfidently. If I didn’t, I’d be a fool.”
By pushing through strenuous workouts, you will gradually improve physically. As your strength and conditioning improve, you will gain confidence in your abilities. This process does not happen overnight. It takes time, dedication, perseverance, and a regular dose of hard work.
There is no room for doubt in an athlete’s mind. You must gain confidence in yourself. As you push through difficult challenges and routines, your mind will become increasingly resilient.
It is easy to quit when the going gets tough. A strong mind will enable you to keep plugging away despite the fatigue that will inevitably mount. As Vince Lombardi once said:
“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”
Tour De France bicycling king Lance Armstrong perhaps said it best with the following words:
"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. That surrender, even the smallest act of giving up, stays with me. So when I feel like quitting, I ask myself, which would I rather live with?"
Obviously, you need a strong mind to live with such conviction, but you also need a strong body. Quitting offers an easy way out of any challenge. Everyone has a breaking point. By continually raising the bar in the gym, you can avoid reaching this point during competition. Train your body to go the distance, and the mind will be prepared for the journey.
Don’t just coast through your workouts at the gym. Crank up the intensity and gain confidence in your training. Don’t enter your competition wishing that you had one more week to train. Plan ahead of time, put in the work, and develop a strong body AND mind!
To drive home this point, let’s look at one brief conditioning workout. Set a timer and challenge yourself to perform 100 burpees as fast as possible. Can you perform 100 burpees in 10 minutes? What about 9, 8, 7, 6, or 5 minutes? How fast can you go?
As you work through this brief challenge, your mind will start whispering in one ear, convincing you to stop completely or take an extended rest period. It will become difficult to maintain a fast pace as fatigue starts to rear its ugly head.
Upon completing the routine, the mind may add another piece of advice, something such as “Let’s never work through that routine again…”
When working through a difficult challenge, it is useful to ignore the mind. Don’t let the mind convince you to quit. Stay focused on the task at hand. Make the decision to complete the challenge in its entirety BEFORE you begin the workout. You may even find it useful to post motivating words on the walls of your gym. It is always useful to glance up to a motivational phrase from a dominant athlete such as Lance Armstrong. A quick glimpse may provide that extra spark that you need to keep working.
Before closing this section, I’d like to provide one last quote. These words come from former heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali. He once said:
"I hated every minute of training, but I said, Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
Many readers may consider these words harsh. After all, we live in world where the easy road is most often traveled. You must remember however that the fight game is harsh. Combat sports are not for everyone. Anyone who suggests otherwise is talking out of his ass. If you wish to partake in such an event, you must take the training seriously.
Prepare the body and mind, or be prepared for injury.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is one more picture of Sandow.