Metacognition
New member
Look, I have had severe social phobia a longtime and am getting better with CBT treatment. I have been told many times i'm very handsome, goodlooking, whatever. I know I am.The truth is how you look has nothing to do with how you feel. The core of social anxiety or phobias is VULNERABILITY. People with social anxiety feel vulnerable and people are a threat thats why when people are around your anxiety increases. The danger for many people with sp is rejection. It's like people are around and you start to feel really scared and your entire esteem drops. Your like "Oh god what do I do", you dont know how to head it off.Your vulnerable. Peple are so afraid of rejection because if they are rejected then it means in their mind their no good,a nobody, invaluable, not good enough, inferior, etc. Thats the belief. The thing your so afraid of is finding out your a nobody. Even if you had the appearnace you want you can't win because if you look good then you still feel scared because you have to always keep that or your nothing and if you dont look good then your still scared because your for sure a nobody. It's a catch 22.The reason why why you hold onto looks so much is beacuse that will determine if your accepted/wanted or rejected/not wanted.And the reason thats so important is because whether your accepted or rejected means whether your a valuable person or not. As long as your vulnerable to this supposed danger you will grab and hold on to anything to make you feel good about you, people grab onto looks, money, status, acceptance, whatever it is it's just there to protect you from a danger.
People with SP often believe people are judgmental. That they are the judges over you, that they have the power to make you feel the way you do. So they exist in this world feeling scared and vulnerable and live like this because thats just the way it is. Thats the belief. Look I'm not saying looks dont mean anything because they have their place but ask yourself do you really think people care and think about how you look.Maybe for about 2 seconds and then what. People judge to an extent, some more then others but then what, then what, then what. It always comes back to you and who you are! The real you is there somewhere and its just afraid to come out. Ask yourself in those social situations: How Do I want want to feel, be, act, think right now? When your in those situatiosn ask: So how can I feel worthwhile and important right now?
It takes alot of practice but just remmber this what keeps you living, feeling, behaving, EXISTING this way is your BELIEFS. So maybe you should face your fear and find ouit if what you belief is really true!
People with SP often believe people are judgmental. That they are the judges over you, that they have the power to make you feel the way you do. So they exist in this world feeling scared and vulnerable and live like this because thats just the way it is. Thats the belief. Look I'm not saying looks dont mean anything because they have their place but ask yourself do you really think people care and think about how you look.Maybe for about 2 seconds and then what. People judge to an extent, some more then others but then what, then what, then what. It always comes back to you and who you are! The real you is there somewhere and its just afraid to come out. Ask yourself in those social situations: How Do I want want to feel, be, act, think right now? When your in those situatiosn ask: So how can I feel worthwhile and important right now?
It takes alot of practice but just remmber this what keeps you living, feeling, behaving, EXISTING this way is your BELIEFS. So maybe you should face your fear and find ouit if what you belief is really true!
