being yourself at work

[footballfan]

ok so, when im at work i can act myself nearly all the time, because the place i work everyone is the same age as me, and everyone that works there is within shouting distance of each other, so there is no-one that you dont know (i wont say where i work).
the only time i feel akward is when im on my own with someone else, in a certain area, cause then i feel like i gotta try and entertain them or something, or theyll think im boring. but most of the other times i will shout at people, and make jokes without feeling uncomfortable.
but one i see them out of work its totally different, i dont talk at all. and then people say " your quiet aint ya, your not normally like this" its kind of funny but irritating as well, cause i want to talk, but they seem to have certain in-jokes that i dont get out of work.
this is a long post, sorry if ya dont understand this post though, if ya understand me though let me know;@)

 

[Alkaenn]

i sure know what u mean with the 1 on 1 thing.
im not really ever myself with people but when im with a group of people i can atleast be a bit more comfortable cuz i feel that i dont have to be the one controlling the conversations and stuff. when im alone with someone i feel like its my job to keep the conversation going...which usually doesnt go so well :roll: .

 

[shy_guy]

deleted

 

[footballfan]

yeah i know what you mean when you say, you feel more arkward when you try and make one on one convos with some, and you ask questions and stuff, just so they dont think your boring. then when i ask a question i say in my head "your such a boring B****D" lol
and then theres times when i ask a good question, or start a decent convo, but then dont know how to carry it on, and i just mumble away cause i dont know how else to end what i was saying. )
but im always laughing at myself inside cause of how stupid i must seem. lol

 

[shy_guy]

deleted

 

[Richey]

well my anxiety affects me at work, i feel like im not myself so that means your nearly cured then? ..thats great to read.

i seem to struggle in the group situations because everyone is joking around and im conscious of saying something silly while everyone is in the same room, also 1 on 1 unless i know the person as a friend which isnt how it is where i work, i come across as awkward and uptight, this isnt intentional its just that my banter can be forced and sometimes fake just to make conversation, and that is because of nerves.

to be honest im a borderline mute at work.

at least you guys are having a laugh and being loud/confident around groups without running away.

 

[Richey]

WOW! i envy you, are you sure this is social anxiety you have.
i dunno, im reading people saying they are always loud and telling stories and doing the entertaining, for me its a daily struggle to string an interesting sentence together at work

If you can get on with them normally at work then its clearly going to be the same out of work too, only you'll be more anxious to impress and your out of your comfort zone of course.

But knowing you can have a laugh with them at your work means that its not nessecerlay going to be all that different say if you were all at a Cafe eating lunch together, its all in your head i think, the more you put yourself out there the easier it will become for you guys if your what you described as doing the entertinaing and people are asking you to parties.

that means you just have to take the next step and itll be like a transition.

I feel that my conversational skills are lacking at work and im never comfortable as its in the hospitality industry part-time with a lot of people running around everywhere.

 

[Jack-B]

However challenged we feel, in a group or one on one, what do we forget?

The rules! The only rules of the game are set by us. And yet ironically, there are no rules, no barriers, no boundaries - only the ones set in place by us. We actually restrict ourself within our own mind. Maybe we dont realise we're playing a game with our mind. Maybe thats why we feel like the loser?????

Who's on our side, who's on our team? Everyone, because everyone is in our mind, in our world, in our game. Yet we may mistake them as baddies.

So who is the enemy/baddie? Nasty negative thoughts. Ok, lets play space invaders! Anyone enjoy getting rid of the baddies, those space invaders? Yeah that was totally cool! Negative thoughts arise and dissappear, shoot em down!

I'm sure most of you have played games before, why not see socialising with others the same way, then when you lose you can remember its just part of a game your playing which is actually rather fun.

Easier said than done right? Wrong. You can choose to see 'social reality' according to your own rules or you can break them.....realising there are no rules. See how everyone else is taking part. Go beyond the mundane, venture within the game of your mind.

Jack