Being taken advantage of and don't know how to say "no"

[Forgotten-Children]

Not sure if this goes here, but I've been having this problem ever since I can remember.

No matter how hard I try, I can never find it in my heart to say that I don't want to do something for somebody. This has lead, pretty much, my entire family to ask me favors or even tell me to do something that I obviously don't want to do, but they know I won't try to stick up for myself.

These are somethings that have happened recently for me.

"Since you're working now, I expect you to help out the family and pay $100 a month." --Mom (Sure I'd like to help out the family but really, her and dad's bills aren't my problem. My main concern is my own bills and moving out.)

"Don't go on a shopping spree, you know you have to pay bills." --Mom (with this one I know I have to pay bills, but she shouldn't tell me what I HAVE to do with my money. I earned it. I should spend it how I want to)

"Hey, Sissy, can ya come in and help me close the shop?" --my little sister (As she walks home as soon as I get there so I'm stuck in Maid-Rite for an hour having to sweep and mop the entire thing. All she had to do was the ketchup bottles...)

"Sissy, can I borrow $40? I need a stress relief. I PROMISE I'll pay you back!" --my little sister (She asked me this during the time before I was working at Maid-Rite and she KNEW that she would of over-draw my account if she took that money seeing as I only had 2 bucks left in there. I kept saying no over and over but then she just closed the door to my room and practically begged me. I don't like the feeling about being trapped in a room because when she closed the door, I basicly felt cornered, so I caved...)

You get the point... Can anyone give me some advice? I can't keep doing this... And I'm not the only one who hates this, my boyfriend hates to see this happen to me. He keeps telling me, I gotta say no ESPECIALLY to my sister because I spoil her too much because I bail her out whenever she's bored or doesn't want to do something herself...

EDIT: With the "shopping spree" thing, it was as if my mom knew that I was gonna buy my boyfriend a present for his birthday and Christmas and doesn't want me to do so... Feh. I don't care, I'm still gonna buy his Chrono Trigger DS whenever my check clears.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

I am sorry that you seem to be taken advantage of, it's really hard to say no.

When it comes to your sister, eventually you are just going to have to say no. Tell her that you can't help her out. As much as it may feel like you are being a bad person, you aren't. You are allowed to do your own things and have your own life. I know that's really easy to say, but nothings ever going to happen if you don't just try it out. Maybe start saying no to something small. Don't know of any good examples, but you probably could find something in your situation.

There's just one thing that kind of rubs me the wrong way, and I don't want to come across as negative and putting you down, because I am not. But 100 dollars a month to help your parents out, is pretty reasonable. I think that's one thing you should just let slide and understand where they are coming from.

I mean, they let you live there up until this point, rent free. Times are tough right now, and I would be a little concerned about their problems too.

 

[Forgotten-Children]

I am sorry that you seem to be taken advantage of, it's really hard to say no.

When it comes to your sister, eventually you are just going to have to say no. Tell her that you can't help her out. As much as it may feel like you are being a bad person, you aren't. You are allowed to do your own things and have your own life. I know that's really easy to say, but nothings ever going to happen if you don't just try it out. Maybe start saying no to something small. Don't know of any good examples, but you probably could find something in your situation.

There's just one thing that kind of rubs me the wrong way, and I don't want to come across as negative and putting you down, because I am not. But 100 dollars a month to help your parents out, is pretty reasonable. I think that's one thing you should just let slide and understand where they are coming from.

I mean, they let you live there up until this point, rent free. Times are tough right now, and I would be a little concerned about their problems too.

I'll do my best.

Well the thing is... That's amost half my pay check. My virst first paycheck is worth $255. The only reason I can pay her the $100 is because she knows I have another $80 in there to fix my Wii since it's be broken and can't read discs since... APRIL! I mean... I'll pay her the money but it just sucks because the people who hand out the checks screwed up on mine BIG time and only gave me 12 hours worth of money when I had 31 so I have to wait till the rest comes in the mail.

I have $167 total in use right now. Take away 100, that only leaves me with 67. Kinda cutting close to buying gifts for my boyfriend... And I'm not sure when I'll get the other check in the mail.