Being a father to another persons child

dannyboy65

Well-known member
Well I've been dating this girl for sometime now and I love her a lot. She has a little boy who is 3 years old and he never knew his father, cause he abused my girlfriend. So the other night she was reading him a book and he asked why some of the mommies in books and at daycare are boys. She told him that those weren't mommies that those were daddies and he say oh. She then said some kids only have one mommy, or one daddy, or a mommy and daddy. She then said but you are lucky that you only have mommy, and he said why. She said because you can choose whoever you want to be your daddy. He looked excited and said I can choose all on my own? She said yes. He then thought for a moment and he said he wants me to be his daddy and that she had to tell me that I'm his daddy now.

I have never been so happy because I love them both and the fact that he wants me to be in his life in that role means so much to me. I don't know if I'm creepy for wanting to be his father. But I'm so happy I mean so much to both of them. Does anyone have tips about this?
 

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
I met my boyfriend when my son was 3. He is now 8, and, even though he has a minimal relationship with his biological father, this past Father's Day, he only wanted to give a card/make breakfast/spend the day with my boyfriend. He corrects people who refer to my boyfriend as his dad, but does consider him a "parent."
I think it's great that you are willing to step up and be a father to your girlfriend's son. If the situation makes all of you happy, that's all that really matters.
One thing that concerns me about my situation is that, if something happens to me, technically, my ex-husband would probably get custody of my son, and my boyfriend would not get to see him anymore. If you are planning on being together long-term, you may want to explore options to ensure that you could potentially have legal rights to see your girlfriend's son (not sure if you are considering marriage/adoption, etc.).
Best of luck to all of you!
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
I met my boyfriend when my son was 3. He is now 8, and, even though he has a minimal relationship with his biological father, this past Father's Day, he only wanted to give a card/make breakfast/spend the day with my boyfriend. He corrects people who refer to my boyfriend as his dad, but does consider him a "parent."
I think it's great that you are willing to step up and be a father to your girlfriend's son. If the situation makes all of you happy, that's all that really matters.
One thing that concerns me about my situation is that, if something happens to me, technically, my ex-husband would probably get custody of my son, and my boyfriend would not get to see him anymore. If you are planning on being together long-term, you may want to explore options to ensure that you could potentially have legal rights to see your girlfriend's son (not sure if you are considering marriage/adoption, etc.).
Best of luck to all of you!

Thanks I will look into that stuff. Yea he doesn't call me dad but he wants me to be his father. I am very happy with him letting me have this opportunity and it still makes me very happy. I love both of them to death, and I'm not afraid of spending my life with them.
 
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